American Fortune Life

September 2, 2007

Woody Allen offered me a role. I told him that before accepting the script, the script must be approved by my agent first, and then my mother should agree. My mother and I have always been very close, and then I need to get the approval of Andy who controls YU's transformation, Good thing I brought it up while he was plowing on top of me, because he hated Woody Allen so much.

. . . . . .

September 15

When I arrived in Barcelona, ​​I realized that Spain is very tanned, and I will get freckles. And I don't make much money, but I'm sure the new agent will take care of it for me.

I heard from Woody that if the film does not lose money and makes more than $400 million, he can take another tenth of the 1%.

That's funny, do they really think that as long as Woody Allen is the director, I'll do it for such a cheap price?

September 16

Met Javier Badem and Penelope Cruz. She was stunningly beautiful, even sexier than I could have imagined, and the whole meeting saw Woody Allen, an old guy, with his pants on fire. Barden is the kind of genius who will fall into contemplation, and he readily accepts what Woody Allen said to help him.

September 18.

Woody Allen knocked on my door after dinner, and I could see what the old bastard was calling for.

It's a pity that it's not just that the damn Andy arranged a personal bodyguard for me. Although I know that this bodyguard will not interfere with any of my actions, I know very well that bastard Andy possesses YU.

The old bastard said that I was very talented, but it might be difficult to grasp, I just chuckled, his hint was too obvious, but I didn't want to be abandoned by that bastard Andy, so the old guy left in a bit of resentment.

October 1

The place to stay is first class. Next year this hotel will get half a star if they can install running water. All I could do was stand under the shower and send that jerk Andy a picture in his shirt, and he loved having me send him sexy pictures. . .

October 3

The shoot didn't go well at first. Although Rebecca Hall is very young, and this is her first lead role, she has a bit of a temper, more than I expected, and I will not spoil her,

But she dared to throw director Woody out of the set.

Omg what did I see? Woody Allen was trying his best to explain, really flattering that bitch, well, I get it, in Andy's words, this old hooligan who has become too old and picks ashes should have climbed into this little bitch creation.

October 9

The shooting finally got on track. Today was filming an intense love scene between Javier and me. Woody Allen didn't seem to give up, and shamelessly harassed me, saying that if he had been a few years earlier, he would have played the role of Xavier himself. And I responded enigmatically, "Ah-ha."

Maybe it wasn't for Andy, maybe I would have been picked up by this old bastard. . .

Arriving late to set in the afternoon, Woody Allen gave me a stern reprimand, saying he would not tolerate my procrastination. I listened respectfully, though he noticed that I turned up the volume on my iPod while he was talking.

October 13

Barcelona is an amazing city. The streets were full of people watching us shoot. They were understanding enough to realize that I didn't have time to sign them, so they only signed rested actors. During the rest, I was very happy to sign autographs and take pictures for them.

Regarding autographs, I have very bad memories, the most disgusting one was once, a bastard handed me a poster covered in unknown liquid, I wanted to kick his dandan!

October 16

Filming at Gaudí's masterpiece "Sagrada Familia". I'm thinking I have a lot in common with the great Spanish builder: we both refuse to follow the rules, he with his amazing designs, we love the guy who watched Andy in ML It appears and disappears in the body. . .

October 20

I went to Woody Allen today and asked him a question that actors always ask: "Why am I doing this?" He immediately replied: "To make money."

I said ok, but I said I needed a better reason to keep going and triple the money, and I threatened to leave if I didn't. He said it was up to me and left first.

Then I actually left, and we got farther and farther apart, so he had to, yelling, stop me. Then I threatened him to make him jump.

The old bastard put a question mark on his face, then jumped up like a clown, and then we were deadlocked. A few friends came over in a difficult situation, and then we went to drink a lot. Of course, the old bastard had to pay the bill in the end.

October 23

I had to watch Woody Allen, the old bastard again, teach Javier how to play ML. This sequence of actions required him to grab Penelope Cruz, rip off her clothes and do whatever he wanted with her in the bedroom.

Even though he won an Oscar, this guy still needs a director to show him how to do emotional scenes. Perhaps this was just in line with the wish of the old rascal Woody Allen, he grabbed Penelope without hesitation, and tore off her clothes in one go. As bad luck as it was for her, she hadn't had time to change into her costume yet, so it was her own expensive costume that the old bastard tore apart.

Then I saw the thin old man with a grim expression on his face, as if he was really excited, he threw her in front of the fireplace without any scruples, and rushed towards her. If not that Penelope is a vixen, she rolled away before the old guy touched her.

It turned out that Woody Allen, a skinny old man, had several of his important teeth smashed against the tile floor. I suppressed my laughter and pretended to follow the crowd to care. From Penelope's eyes, I clearly saw a trace of disgust and ridicule. Today is a happy day!

. . . . . .

"Honey, I'm so done with that narcissistic old bastard, gosh, you don't know how narcissistic he is, how shameless he thinks me and Penelope are slowly falling for him He told us that this is not surprising at all, lamented the fragile heart of a woman, and said that every time he sees us looking at him, he can see from our eyes that we are creating with him with our eyes, and said Seeing poor Xavier staring at him jealously, he even explained to Xavier, OMG... I used to admire him so much!"

Andy walked out of the teaching building with a bluetooth headset, listened to Scarlett's chatter, and couldn't help but smiled and said: "You have to understand him, people of his age only have fantasy, haha , A bastard who can XINGqin and raise a daughter will not surprise anyone."

"Seriously, dear, I've had enough of this disgusting nasty old guy, you don't know how changeable he is, he told me and Penelope why he takes a bath every morning, Make it fresh and fragrant, so that Penelope and I can fall in love with him even more.

He also told us that he doesn't like to confuse work with pleasure, but in order to complete the film, he may have to come forward to dispel the desires of each of us, and he also arranged Penelope's time on Wednesday and Friday, and Tuesday and Sunday. Four gives me satisfaction, like taking turns parking on both sides of the street.

In this way, Monday was just free for Rebecca, and he also said that he had stopped her from tattooing her name on her tui, and just now invited us to have a drink together, and he wanted to specify a charter, And lamented that perhaps the old-fashioned system of issuing ration tickets would work. . .

Oh my god, Penelope and I almost went crazy laughing, I really don't know where his confidence comes from, Penelope has already got together with Javier, this old dog with chun is really speechless . "

Andy's face turned black when he got into the car. Although he couldn't stop others from flirting with his own woman, it really annoyed him that an old bastard like Woody Allen directly teased his own woman in a serious manner.

"Ha~ He won't invite you to accompany him, will he?"

"Haha, you guessed it? He has been harassing us all the time, but Rebecca's bitch seems to have never been satisfied, and she has never given him a good face. To be honest, if I can't touch the rules of Hollywood, I'm really I want to take him to court!"

Andy narrowed his eyes slightly, and said with a sneer: "You don't have to worry about this, you can finish the filming with peace of mind, and I will teach him a profound lesson."

"Honey, I miss you, damn it, I was teased by this old bastard, I really miss you!"

When Andy heard the phone call, Scarlett started to shenyin, she couldn't help swallowing, and cursed inwardly, this goblin, because he's on his way to Los Angeles Airport to pick up Ivana, damn it, pants Li really followed the fire!