Blood & Juniper

Accounts of Dominic, October 2017.

"Dom, what are you staring at?"

"Hmm?" I blink out of my daze and make eye contact with Josh. He finishes taking a swig of his beer and twirls the green bottle by the neck. He's sitting misaligned in the cedar chair, his forearm is lazily perched in the back of it.

He looks me over with half lidded eyes and snickers, "Man, where do you go? You've been spacing out so much lately."

Spacing out. I can't deny that. Things had been off as of late, though life is going good. Great, it's going great. Too, good? Is there such a thing?

Good, so why am I becoming progressively more detached?

Josh waves, his hand spread wide in a cartoonish motion, "Dude, you are so out of it. Did you drink too much?"

I examine my own bottle. I haven't had any, haven't touched it. I'm not really in the drinking mood.

"Maybe," I lie. I hold out the beer passing it to him, "I probably shouldn't have this one, you want it?"

Chase snatches the bottle before I can hand it off to Josh, "Thanks, man! Perfect timing."

"Asshole!" Josh glares at Chase as he drains half the contents in a single gulp, "Out of everyone here you need it the least."

Chase finishes it off and adds the empty bottle to his growing collection, "What do you mean? I'm barely getting started."

Josh crumples up a napkin and tosses it at him. It bounces off Chase's forehead as he scrambles to catch the crinkled wad before it hits the floor. He juggles it twice capturing it on the second bounce.

A single blonde curl falls forward as he grins victoriously at the paper ball in his hand, "Like I said! I've only just begun."

Josh rolls his eyes as Chase sits next to Mason who ogling some college freshmen as usual. Chase's hand darts for the bill of Mason's hat but his reflexes are surprisingly good for being so absorbed in attractive women. Mason grips his hat and twists it backwards mindlessly.

Chase inquires about the one he's into this time. This is a little like deja vu. I suppose I'm addicted to familiarity but I think it's contributing some gnawing impatience, it's making me a bit stir crazy. I may leave early, something is definitely off with me.

Josh interrupts my speculation of the two playful friends, "You've been really quiet lately, Dominic. Like way quieter than you usually are. Talk to me."

I stare down at the swirling ripples in the wood table surface. Apparently, I've been too reserved. I purse my lips, "Do you ever feel like you're being watched?"

I glance over to see his dark eyebrows slip low as he stares back, "Like a stalker? That sounds creepy as hell…"

I wonder if I should be creeped out. I've had the distinct feeling of being spied on and followed. It's become a prevalent thing. That and my recurring dream. A dream that's starting to feel more real than my actual life. More intense and more unsettling with each passing night.

"Do *you* believe someone is watching you?" Josh asks more seriously.

"I'm beginning to think so."

"Is it Layla? I wish that babe would stalk me," says Mason who is surprisingly following our conversation while studying a new group of women, "I don't get you, Dom. I'd go steady with someone like her if they were that into me. Swear off every other girl," he lifts up his hand as if taking a pledge.

"Pfft!" Chase blows air through his teeth reflexively from the claim. He gives Mason an incredulous look as he booms, "You, Commitment? You are so full of shit!"

Chase and Mason dive into an argument about the principle of commitment. Commitment, huh? I actually wish Layla would go after Mason instead, he'd probably treat her much better than I am currently.

I know she wants to be something more serious, but wouldn't it be worse to move forward when my heart is not in it?

We're not exclusive even though I know she wants to be. That's not fair to her, she deserves better than that, better than me. I should outright refuse and tell her that I don't think this will ever go anywhere.

She's smart, kind and beautiful. Just like Mason says, the kind of dream girl you settle down with if given the chance and I've been given every chance. Is there something wrong with me?

I'm not leading her on, though I'm not doing anything to stop this. I don't like that but obviously not enough to do anything about it.

I look over our last text messages.

'R u at Charlie's?'

'Yea with the guys'

'boys only :)?'

'No'

'Care if I drop by?'

'Sure if u want'

'Cool! I'll stop by in a couple hours'

'Sure, if you want'… I shake my head. Am I using her as a crutch, an antidote for loneliness? She's not using me, she does not deserve this.

I text her;

'I think I'm going home early. I'm really tired tonight. Sorry'

"Maybe, you've got some wild animal tailing you," Josh half heartedly guesses at my stalker situation, "Did you ever find out what's taking out the deer?"

I snort, "No, I still haven't determined which predator is responsible for the influx. It's messy, which suggests wolves, but sometimes it will drag the animal to different spots like a cougar. I'm really stumped on this one. It's a lot larger than any of our native predators and it takes the occasional trophy. It's all very unusual."

"It seems dangerous. They can't be paying you enough for this."

I shrug, "It's contract work, and I'd be out there anyway."

"Well don't end up on this thing's meal plan."

I grin, "That's the hope."

Dangerous or not the woods are like home to me. Sometimes I'd explore after dark, not something typically recommended but I feel most alive when I'm out there under a blanket of stars. If I suffer an early grave by misfortune out in the wilderness, I'll have zero regrets. Even now I'd feel much better surrounded by trees with the humming of insects rather than the chatter and heat in this stuffy sports bar.

There are yells of unanimous disapproval as every TV screen mirrors the enemy team scoring a basket.

I catch Josh bite aggressively into a chicken wing and rip off a piece. He mutters at the closest TV, "What the hell was that! Are you ding-dongs falling asleep on the court out there?"

I chuckle, Josh could get really fired up watching any sport. Honestly, I think it's more entertaining to watch him react than the game itself.

My phone vibrates in my coat pocket, I take it out to read Layla's text.

'Aww that's too bad :( R you walking or driving home?'

I respond;

'Walking'

'Want me to walk with U?'

'No but Thx. I'm on my way out right now. Have a good night Layal'

'Night Dom. Be safe'

I stuff my phone back into my pocket and notice Chase somehow got his hands on three more beers. Mason is ruining the plot to a movie Josh hasn't seen. He claims it 'sucks' and Josh will die slowly and painfully if he watches it.

Josh scratches the scruff along his jaw, "Do you enjoy anything in life, Mason?"

"I enjoy plenty! I'm just getting sick of sequel, sequel, remake, remake crap. It's such a snooze fest, man."

"Hey," I cut in, "I think I'm going to take off, I'll see you guys around."

Josh gives me a contemplative stare as the other two tell me to meet up with them at a new place they want to try out next week.

"Are you sure you're alright, Dom," asks Josh, leaning back in the chair and crossing his arms over his c.h.e.s.t.

"Just tired," I make an excuse, "I think I'll catch up on missing sleep. I've been running on less than four hours every night for the past two weeks."

"Going to bed early?" Mason speculates with a smirk, "Not to sleep, I'll bet Layla's waiting for you at your place. You can admit it."

"You caught me," I say dryly. I'll take that assumption, I don't know how to explain myself and don't want to get into it.

Josh isn't convinced, "You're not heading into the forest this late, are you?"

"No, home. Nowhere exciting."

"Alright," Josh nibbles his lip before relenting, "Join us later if you can't sleep."

"Right," I pass by Josh patting the back of his shoulder, "Will do, have fun."

If I was actually tired the brisk air would have jolted me awake. It's like going from an oven to an icebox. I zip up my jacket and let out a breath, steam rolls out like a puff of smoke. I don't mind the cold, I've always run too hot.

It's convenient that my complex is near so many amenities but someday I'm going to live closer to the woods, ideally in the woods. Miles away from civilization, I wouldn't mind that one bit.

Not many are out for a walk but few cars whip by. I pass by less than half the people I did at the beginning of this month. When it starts snowing it will be cut in half again.

I breathe in to clear my head of the monotony. I'm convinced that fresh air is a cure for any ailment.

There's that feeling again… Being watched. I keep my head forward as I maintain the same pace but glance about. Whatever it is, it's very quiet. Maybe a forest predator *is* stalking me, wouldn't that be something?

I turn down the next block. I adjust my glasses and take the opportunity to look where my back was turned. It's endless, empty sidewalks. A pattern of short lamps lighting small sections and black shrouding the rest. I wonder if someone is standing between the lamps, hiding out in the dark. Staring, watching…

I swallow at that and inconspicuously bring my hand to the hunting knife sitting in my pocket. Shame I don't have my Remington rifle with me, the slight of it alone is generally an effective deterrent.

A few more blocks of stillness. I can't rid this bizarre feeling of eyes on me but nothing has happened. Nothing ever happens.

I'm nearly to my house. I spot the first person in a while heading in the opposite direction. It's a woman dressed in black, hood up and head down. That's a little worrying for a woman like her to walk through this area alone after dark.

She's coming toward me at a remarkably fast pace but her heels barely make a sound. Something doesn't seem right.

Is there something wrong with this woman? There are no obvious cues, so why do I have this urge to cross the street?

I look about trying to understand the bigger picture. Is she alone? This is very strange.

I hesitate and step aside but she's still coming at me. Coming straight for me. The quickest walk I've witnessed. How is she going so fast?

She's speeding up, heading for me like she'll run me over. I take one step back. Something is definitely not right here. Is she my stalker?

She tilts her face up, eyes burning into me now. There's something wrong with her eyes, is she on drugs? I adjust my glasses and squint. There's a threatening scowl cracking that porcelain looking face. She's still coming at me.

I ask, "Hey, are you alright?"

She's fast as hell, closing the gap between us in a flash. I hardly have time to react. Her hands grab the neck of my coat as she slams my back into a complex wall. I grab on to her wrists trying to push her away. A girl her size shouldn't be this strong. What the hell is going on?

The woman hisses, "Where is she! Where is she hiding?"

Her eyes look radioactive inside her sockets, her brown hair is tickling in the wind. I try to push her back but she won't budge. Her teeth look too large, her gums must be receding, she's got to be on some serious drugs.

I take one hand from her wrist and hold it in open handed surrender. I try to talk her down, "Hey, I need you to calm down. I don't know who you're talking about. You're mistaking me for someone else."

"Don't lie to me! I've seen it. I've seen you with her!" She snaps, thrusting my shoulder into the concrete again. 'Ouch, how is she so strong?' She's clearly insane. I need to get her off of me before she injures me, even if I hurt her in the process.

I take my palms and try shoving her backwards. I think I may have just bruised my own hands, it's like slamming them into a boulder! What the hell is up with this psycho?

She growls like an animal and shakes me so hard my glasses fall off. I'm having a hard time breathing as she practically crushes me into the bricks. She starts yelling, "I *saw* you together! Tell me where she is, Dominic, before I start snapping fingers off!"

"Who!" I choke, digging my fingers into her hands. Who the hell is this! How does she know my name? I raise my foot ready to kick her hard in the stomach.

"Shame, you didn't see this," snarl someone new.

The woman shifts and is about to retort but it's incomprehensible as a high pitched scream comes out instead. It rings in my ears.

Her blurry figure disappears from sight and the scream fades as if she'd been thrown backwards.

I take in a large breath and slump to the ground then feel around for my missing glasses. Did I kick her backwards? Who was that second woman? I don't think I kicked her that hard.

I see my thick black rims looking like blobbed sticks on the sidewalk and slide them quickly back into place.

She's not in sight, but I still hear someone shrieking. I rip my knife out and squint into the dark. Someone or something dragged her to the darkened corner of this building.

I shuffle backwards and feel around each pocket for my phone to dial 911. Did I drop that too? I scan the ground urgently and spot it. It's slid in the direction of the muffled screaming.

Should I hurry and grab it or make a break for my apartment?

I cautiously but swiftly inch forward. I'm clutching the knife so tightly my hand is shaking. 'Grab it, call and run. Grab it, call and run.'

The screams are cut off with a sharp crack. There's wet crushing and ripping sounds. 'Crap, is this some kind of wild animal?'

Change of plans. I stand up tall and back away slowly. If it's some predator I better not get close. What the hell is going on? I wish I could see!

Soon after I start backing up I swear I see something huge get hurtled into the air by the black corner, it's way bigger than any bird. It comes down on the flat rooftop with a loud thunk that makes me jump. Was that real! Am I seeing things?

I look back down at the dark corner and suck at my teeth, holding up my armed hand defensively.

There's a slender woman in a flowing dress standing in front of me. Is she barefoot?

She… is the most beautiful woman I've ever seen, hands down. I gawk at her as I drop my hand clutching the knife. Did I get knocked out? I might be passed out on the ground imagining her.

Her skin is milky and pale as moonlight. Her long and black hair is sweeping around her with the twirling loose dress. Her features are so delicate and youthful. Though, her high cheekbones, sensuous eyes and knowing lips look oddly m.a.t.u.r.e for her years.

And her eyes, they sparkle like invaluable gemstones in a serene face. I've never beheld eyes so blue and entrancing. Wait… Have I seen those eyes before?

She is… Familiar, so familiar.