Dungeon Sniper

"Ugly bastards, but they've evolved to kill, I'll give you that."

Benedikt was showing Elysia and me the anatomy of a Goblin Crawler on a large screen. While the mastersmith set up the automatic spraying job to paint the Dwarones and Dwarfighters with the digital, multi-scale camouflage (and looking s.e.xy—military s.e.xy), we came back to the lab and went on to discuss the upcoming 'war.'

The noon had passed, and I had just grudgingly helped myself to the cadmium-tasting energy bars. Unlike my other luckier companions, I did not have the privilege to wash off the awful taste by drowning themselves in beer.

"You might want to put that down for a second, kid."

Benedikt pointed to the half-eaten energy bar on my hand.

"Couldn't be happier, but why?"

"Because I'm about to show you a graphic image of a Goblin head split-open, and I don't want you to throw up all over in my lab."

"Look, if I wanted to puke, I would've done it a long time ago, with or without looking at a picture of some dead Goblin body all this morning."

"Don't tell me I didn't warn you."

Benedikt switched the slide, and Elysia spat some of the beer out of her mouth upon looking at the image.

"Thanks for the heads-up," I swallowed, feeling queasy indeed.

"Notice how small their brains have become? Their cognitive functions have gone completely defunct while their sensory receptions have been piqued. In other words, they've become the hyper instinctive, focused hunters at the expense of... well, brains," shrugged Benedikt.

"Is that good or bad for us?" asked Elysia, placing the beer bottle far away from her reach. She did not seem like feeling to drink, not for a long time.

"Both. Bad because they cannot think anything other than the mission given by their mother and Queen: kill everything. An unwavering, unquestioning loyalty is a virtue among soldiers."

"And the good part is...?" I frowned suspiciously.

"They're incredibly dumb. And that's our silver lining."

Benedikt switched the slide again, this time showing two Goblin Crawlers, looking similar in their uniform n.a.k.e.d, monster-like physiques. That made me wonder.

"So they don't wear clothes anymore, these Goblin Crawlers," I pointed out.

"The skin, which was already pretty darn thick before they decided to walk on fours, has become an exoskeleton of some sort. I had to use a chainsaw to pry them apart."

"Thanks for sharing that unnecessarily gory story. I was going to ask, how come I don't see any reproductive organ in these poor bastards."

Benedikt frowned at me.

"How perverted do you have to be to look for a Goblin v.a.g.i.n.a. And they're dead, for f.u.c.k's sake."

"First, gross. Second, I wasn't looking for a Goblin p.u.s.s.y. I was looking for a p.e.n.i.s... purely out of academic curiosity."

"Why would they need d.i.c.ks? Or pussies? It's not like they can reproduce with each other. They're sterile. The Queen just pops them out like a factory."

"Okay, don't take me wrong, and it wasn't like I had any interest checking out their stuff or anything, but when I killed some Goblins in Level One, I had to strip them off their armor because I was n.a.k.e.d, not by choice, I should make it clear, I was n.a.k.e.d against my will in the first place—"

"I get it. You saw some Goblin d.i.c.ks," Benedikt cut me off.

"Not purposely."

"I told you, an evolution isn't supposed to manifest within just years. It usually takes thousands of generations to see a small enough change that's noticeable. And the Queen has done just that. In just fifty years, she changed an entire race, a species, to be nothing but her loyal, dedicated soldiers."

"So which one is the more advanced?"

Benedikt and I turned to Elysia, who had been staring intently at the screen showing the two seemingly identical Goblin Crawlers.

"Good eyes, lass. The left one is the common 'soldier,' and the right one is the 'general.' Those are just names I came up with for my own convenience of identifying them. I don't think they call each other that way."

"Because they can't speak."

I wanted to contribute something to the discussion. I was still failing to see the difference between the two dead bodies.

"They can communicate, through their shrieks and hormonal discharges, much like insects. I have yet to decipher the patterns, but I found that the generals ordered while the soldiers obeyed. And seeing that we're out of time, it looks like that's all we can hijack from their gibberish screams and foul smells for now."

"Which one's the general again? The one on the right?" I asked helplessly.

"Notice how the jaws are smaller but sharper with the right one?" said Elysia, pointing to the screen.

"But that could be an individual trait."

"Nope. Checked at least a thousand of each. I may not be a biologist, but I take my data's validity seriously as a fellow scientist," said Benedikt indignantly.

"I thought you said you were just an engineer," I said incredulously.

"I said I wasn't a physicist. Look around you, kid, you think all of this would have been possible without at least some scientific knowledge and endeavor? Now focus on the subject. The way you get sidetracked all the time, I bet either you haven't been schooled properly or you're dumber than I thought."

I was about to protest against the Dwarf's mean remark when he turned to Elysia and urged her to make more observations.

"What else do you see, lass?"

Elysia c.o.c.ked her head and squinted her pretty eyes thoughtfully.

"The joints are turned at different angles. Fewer... I suspect the generals stand taller than the soldiers?"

"If only Elves had more imagination, they would have made fine innovators. Instead, they stick to history, jogging, and prose. Not even poems. Boring, factual essays!" Benedikt clicked his tongue pitifully.

"Facts are fun," said Elysia defensively.

"Your race disgraces the meaning of 'fun' by your existence."

And there was the cranky Benedikt again. He was so impossible to predict. So I stepped in before Benedikt could hurt my Elysia further, although I doubted Elysia would take offense from such a petty insult. Not that she was an unimaginative bore (and I would never admit to having thought of her in such a way; imagination was overrated anyway), but because she was always calm.

"This distinction between the generals and the soldiers, does it have anything to do with the 'silver lining' you were talking about?" I asked hurriedly.

"At least your memory function's still working, I see," scoffed Benedikt.

"No wonder you didn't have any friend the past fifty years," I quipped back, but Benedikt shrugged off the insult casually, much to my annoyance.

"It has everything to do with the silver lining. So you better stick close to your unimaginative bore of a girlfriend and ask her to teach you to spot the generals right away, and from the distance."

I blinked.

"What? An unimaginative bore? For all seriousness, such a cruel world has never crossed my thought before," I turned to Elysia, looking as livid as I could.

"You were just thinking about it seconds ago," said Elysia flatly.

"... You're getting to know me so well, Ellie. I'm so happy."

Elysia grunted and turned to Benedikt.

"What's the point of discerning the generals from the soldiers? I may be an 'unimaginative bore,' but I can at least imagine it takes more than education to develop sharp eyes of an Elf for a Human," said Elysia pointedly.

"The kid has a job to do. Let's just hope he's not just a 'Human,'" said Benedikt solemnly.

A job that required singling out commanders, fast and from the distance.

There could only be one thing to which being referred.

"You want me to snipe out the generals," I said, at the same time calculating how many generals, in general, were there to command a million soldiers.

Thousands, I could only guess.

"It's not just about shooting down some Goblins from afar," Benedikt shook his head soberly.

"It's all about creating chaos," he added after a pause.

.

.

.

"That's not fair," I said, aghast and betrayed.

Elysia was sitting inside the secondary c.o.c.kpit situated right between the shoulders of the Dwarfighter like a round, traitorous face. She waved at me nervously inside the opaque, sun-shaded glass dome.

"You'd rather leave your girlfriend out on the battlefield with a million carnivorous monsters? What's wrong with you, kid?" snapped Benedikt.

"Where did that second c.o.c.kpit come from? It wasn't there this morning! You knew I would be begging to get on the mech! You hid it from me! You sly, hairy, beer-smelling backstabber!"

I was practically screaming.

"And it's got four arms now! What the F.U.C.K is going on?!"

"I installed them over the afternoon. That way I can focus on stomping and slashing the ants with the lower arms while the lassie can operate the guns and flamethrowers with the upper ones," said Benedikt excitedly, unperturbed by my anger, while fidgeting his fingers and looking eager to get into his c.o.c.kpit in the dead center of the body and pilot the four-armed behemoth any second now.

I watched in shock as Elysia learned how to operate the flamethrower and gunner arms of the Dwarfighter. The desert camo paint suited its grotesquely beautiful appearance well.

It looked like a spider ready to prey on the ants for lunch. All million of them, hopefully.

"You called me down to show off how fun the two of you would be having—slashing, scorching, stomping, and shooting the Goblins?" I grumbled sullenly. I had been in the lab all afternoon flipping through the images of the Goblin Crawler generals and soldiers taken from various distances, quizzing myself lonesomely with the disgusting, dangerously bluish energy bar and drinks at my side. And now I felt even worse down here.

"You forgot the stink-bombs. We'll stink them good," said Benedikt nonchalantly.

"Why am I here, Benedikt?"

Benedikt turned his sparkling eyes away from the Dwarfighter and grabbed from the table next to him a set clothes that looked much like the stealth suit I had worn the night before, just sandy-colored instead of black.

"It's an upgrade from the one you had before. You won't be disappointed," said Benedikt as he handed me the suit, his eyes darting back to his precious last born, now clumsily twisting and moving his upper arms as confusedly as the operator would be looking inside the c.o.c.kpit.

I unrolled the suit—and saw it had elastic flaps between the arms and the t.h.i.g.hs.

Acquired:

Stealth-Glider Suit

I checked the flap between the legs. They stretched and expanded easily and resiliently.

"You wouldn't have any trouble sprinting with that thing between your legs. You can take them off if you want like the last one you had, but in case things get too hectic and you can't catch a break," explained Benedikt as he glanced at me eyeing the flaps suspiciously.

"I thought you said I wouldn't need a wingsuit at this Level," I said, putting down the feathery light suit back on the table.

"You certainly wouldn't on the ninety-nine percent of the terrain on this Level. It just happens that the battle site will take place in the one percent anomaly of a landscape."

"The sandhills," I said, remembering Benedikt's description of the Queen's hive.

"You'll see they're not hills, but mountains actually. And naturally, you will be shooting from the top of one of them, looking down at the entire battlefield."

"And the wingsuit—"

"—Is for an emergency when you're spotted and have to make an escape."

"Did you make the suppressor that I asked for?"

"I did, but do you really think you'll be safely perched on top of a brittle sandhill forever?"

"I don't know, do you think we can really win this thing? Six-hundred toys and three interracial suicide squad?"

"My sons can take on a thousand Goblins each. If you want out, I'll just build a sniper Dwarone tonight to replace you. Just say the word. You can keep the suit. A coward will need something between his legs, might as well be the flap."

"I'm just making sure whether you're absolutely sure about your strategy."

"Chaos, concentration, and containment. I've fought my wars against the Dragon and its minions for years. And I learned from the best tactician there ever was," said Benedikt, nostalgic and fondly.

I knew who he was referring to, but I did not give the old Dwarf the satisfaction of being all fired up about the mysterious 'hero' again.

Benedikt realized that I would remain silent despite his usual teasingly hint and turned his back on me to watch Elysia's practice operation. Elysia was getting better with controls by minutes. I remembered how graceful and dexterous she was with her body balance and hand-eye coordination with her daggers. She would do just fine.

I picked up the hybrid stealth suit and turned to leave the under-underground bas.e.m.e.nt when Benedikt called me behind the back.

"Where are you going? I'm not done with you."

"I was going to get some sleep. I would have to climb the sandhills before the big battle, no?"

Benedikt blinked.

"Have you ever climbed a sandhill?"

"Look, I'm from Brooklyn, not Nevada."

Not that the people of Nevada frequently hiked Death Valley during weekends. I had no idea.

"I don't know what that means, and I'm going to ignore because it's something you, of all people, said," frowned Benedikt.

"How kind."

"Come here, I want to show you something."

Benedikt led me away from the large floor of the bas.e.m.e.nt and to a door leading to a darker, crammed space with metal scraps and junk parts littered all over the place—a storage room. He then moved his short legs toward an object veiled beneath a dusty cloth. It seemed about the size of a motorcycle.

Benedikt lifted the stuffy cloth and revealed the object—an object.

"What am I looking at?"

I frowned at the simple structure. No wheel, no frame, just a stick-like handle and a seat connected to what seemed like an engine, and barely serviceable.

"The engine looks all right. It's missing a rotor. Where did I put that?" grunted Benedikt as he rummaged through the junk.

"Wait, a rotor? What rotor?"

Then it hit me. Benedikt was nice enough to save me from climbing a slippery, brittle sandhill.

And his hospitality ended there. He was not a nice Dwarf to begin with, so.

"Don't tell me you're making me fly in that thing," I shook my head firmly.

"The thing has a name. It's called 'Dwarflyer.'"

Acquired:

Dwarflyer - a one-man helicopter; shabby, out-of-use for years, and obviously unsafe

"Are you sure it's safe to ride on?" I asked nervously.

"It's safe as long as you don't fall," said Benedikt as-a-matter-of-factly.

"There. No seat belt. Again," I pointed at the simple seat.

"She's at her max weight as she is. She can barely fly with you sitting on top of her."

"Oh, it's a she?"

"Besides, seat belts get in the way in case you have to jump out in the air. That's why I made you the wingsuit. Be grateful for once, kid."

"The one child you let me ride, she's not a looker and has a stick for me to grab on. I don't think it's a female, Benedikt."

At that moment, Benedikt found the rotor and turned to me with the sharp blade inches away from my nose.

"Don't test me, kid. I can always make you climb the hills."

"I'm not sure that's really a bad idea at this point," I eyed the shoddy Dwarflyer once again.

"Next morning, she'll look perfect and shiny as all my kids are. Then you'll come begging for me to ride her."

Benedikt paused. I chuckled crassly.

"Damn, kid, you're getting under my skin too much. Go away now, I'll be busy all night."

"Busy touching and oiling your daughter, you mean."

"Get the f.u.c.k out of here," said the grumpy Dwarf, swinging the rusty rotor, almost slashing my face this time.

Not that it stopped me from grinning as I backed away from the storage room.

.

.

.

The sun had not risen yet, and I was flying through the cold desert air with a whirring, mini-helicopter. The Dwarflyer looked nothing like the junk crap I had seen the evening before. She still lacked any frame to withstand any type of impact, but at least her rotor was shiny and the engine hummed smoothly and not a phlegm in her beautiful morning aria.

Or the prelude to the requiem for the upcoming battle of all the living creatures in Level Two of the Dungeon.

The Queen and her army of Goblin ants versus an Elf, a Dwarf, and a Human.

I excluded the six-hundred drones and one mech despite how much their creator wanted to believe they had souls.

Speaking of souls, I remembered Benedikt's last words before leaving early to get myself positioned on top of the highest sandhills surrounding region over the Queen's hive.

"Chaos comes first. Concentration follows. The last part is containment."

"Yes, we've gone through this all night, Benedikt," I had said, stifling a yawn. I had not had much sleep, just a couple of hours. Benedikt, I suspected, had not slept at all, maintenancing the Dwarones, Dwarfighter, and Dwarflyer to the last minute.

Next to Benedikt was Elysia, with whom I had finally spent a night together.

Too bad both of us were too tired for any kind of action. So we had just slept, holding hands like a cute, sweet couple we were.

My eye had met Elysia's, and despite our smiles, we had been thinking the same thing all night on the same bed in our light, worried sleep.

"Don't get killed," Elysia had said softly before falling off to sleep.

"Let's not get killed," I had corrected before dozing off myself.

"But before all that, there has to be a 'commencement.'"

Benedikt's words had brought me back from the melancholic reverie of the last night. By the sheepish look on Elysia's face, she had been thinking the same thing. Or not. But I had wanted to believe that Elysia and I had that special connection. Especially right before a near-suicidal war.

"What's that now?" I had asked back blankly. Too bad the Dungeon, and not just this Level, had no coffee.

"I will commence the battle. With these."

Benedikt had taken out a small, rectangular box.

"What's that now?" I had blinked uncomprehendingly.

"It's called the Bang-Bang. Sound familiar?"

"I wouldn't want to recognize it even if I had known it."

"I know you're a fan of the Boom-Boom. And as its inventor, I appreciated your application of such a mediocre, archaic bomb."

"... Thanks?"

I had been still confused.

"Now imagine a Boom-Boom that's ten times more explosive and deadly than a regular Boom-Boom, but only tenth its size."

"That's what I'm looking at right now?"

"Introducing the Bang-Bangs, lady and gentleman."

Benedikt had bowed with a flourish at Elysia and me.

"You don't look like someone who's going to a war against a million monsters."

I had finally said it. Benedikt had been weird all night too.

Benedikt, to my surprise, had placed his hand on my shoulder, and reaching too because of our height difference. In the end, he had resorted to tapping my forearm, looking the calmest and gravest I had seen him in the past few days.

"I've fought more battles than you've had your birthdays come around, son. I'm not going to let you die. Either of you."

Benedikt was an erratic, grouchy old grandpa, but I had to admit I had liked seeing this steady, confident side of him.

"Thanks, and I appreciate how you stopped calling me 'kid' and called me a 'son,' now. Feels more closer, you know?"

And just like that, Benedikt's smile had dropped, and with a certain shadow too.

"Get going, kid, and I'll kill you if you don't do your job right. Understand?"

And just like that, we had parted in our usual selves, bickering and cursing.

I was sitting on top of the tallest sandhill when the sun finally rose from the horizon. I had hidden the Dwarflyer on the other side of the hill and away from the eyes staring up from the battlefield.

And I waited patiently for the commencement. Below me, I could see a few Goblin Crawlers standing guards around a giant hole that seemed like a gaping dark mouth from where I sat.

Any time now.

I crouched on my stomach and breathed slowly as I buried myself onto the soft sand ground and checked the scope. I figured I would be saving my stamina as best as I could, and that meant refraining from using Skills wastefully before and even during the battle.

I looked through the scope, and soon enough, caught what I had been waiting for.

A flock of twenty small aircraft was flying across the soon-to-be battlefield. Each aircraft held ten blocks of Bang-Bangs.

Dwarflies, Benedikt's airborne drones, flew a hundred feet above the ground and stopped to form a circle over the gaping hole of the hive entrance.

The Goblin Crawlers had heard the Dwarflies. They just did not know how to respond to such strange-looking birds. Perhaps they did not even know what birds looked like.

The Level Two was a true wasteland, with no living creature other than the Goblins and a lonely Dwarf elderly until a few days ago.

And here I was, involved in another reckless, rushed war against my will, oblivious to what it all meant and what kind of changes I would bring to this Level, and in whole, the Dungeon.

Maybe I could stop this, just walk away from all this like I should have had done with all my other involvements in the past?

I started and shook inadvertently, or so I thought I had.

I shook because the ground shook. The Dwarflies had let go of the Bang-Bangs, all twenty of them, each jettisoning ten small explosives from their grasps.

Two-hundred Bang-Bangs had fallen into the fathomless depth of the hive. And they went off with the magnitude of two-thousand Boom-Booms.

Hence, the war had commenced.