Exp And Other Drugs

As Intalru begrudgingly made his way back to his cave of birth a flash of brilliance crossed his mind, causing him to take a detour to check out the ole skunk herbs field.

"It should be somewhere around here. I know I'm not lost I just saw the massive oak tree growing between those two boulders a minute ago, and I highly doubt that there's more than one P*nis tree in these woods.."

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Little did Intalru know that he had fallen into a trap that Dennis unknowingly created and maintained over the eons with out even realizing it, his forest has caused an almost uncountable number of Adventurers and unlucky travellers to get lost and starve to death.

For long ago when the Mighty green dragon was still freshly of age to be considered Grown Dennis was once insulted and then subsequently challenged by a rather ugly and annoying 'Dragon'.

The creature was a 'lesser breed' of dragon kind as a whole, so distant in relation that they are often mistaken as a type of demonic snake creature by most races.. This Creature is known as a 'Lindorm'. A giant horse headed serpent naturally graced with of a pair of arms adorned by menacing talons that could effortlessly rend steel and stone to shreds.

Their battle raged on for far longer than Dennis would care to admit. This particular Lindorm was Considered an ancient and used most of it's life learning and crafting earth magic. Throughout most of the battle the wiley b*st*rd stayed hidden behind his constructs while simultaneously forcing spikes into the green dragons blind spots. Eventually their epic battle came to an end with Dennis barely limping away from the newly created forest of stone and tree.

The deciding factor of their battle was when Dennis took a page from his opponents book. Willing several oaks to grow from the giant Boulder it hid behind until the rock split in two and crushed his unlucky foe..

Many many many years have passed since then but Dennis cherishs the memory fondly. So far Dennis has willed trees to grow from every Boulder he comes across as proof to show that the power of Nature can split any stone...

A dragon males reproductive organs look nothing like a human males Phallus so he is completely oblivious to the fact that his 'Proof of power' just makes his mighty forest look like a bunch of d*cks sticking out of the ground.

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After several hours of random wandering Intalru finally made it to a little patch of skunk herbs this one smelled kinda fruity so he knew that he had no idea where he was... Spreading his Mana out across the plants he felt a somewhat benevolent presence radiating from one specific stalk in particular...

The strange herb piqued Intalru's curiosity, pulling his Mana back into himself he opened his eyes and studied the plant intently. It had several obvious differences from it's neighbors, a bright purple stalk only reaching half the height of her plainer pale green sisters, and the on average had about 20 lobes in comparison to the others 13. Infact the plant is quite eye-catching and only remained unnoticed due to her taller sisters as if they were hiding her.

After studying the plant for some time more subtle differences began standing out to him. The leaves had strange patterns similar to The runes of Nordic mythology etched across them, and the plant actually gave off a fragrance similar to fine perfume.. But the most interesting thing about this plant was that she was constantly absorbing and releasing Mana as if breathing it.

"hmmm wonder what you look like fully grown?" As Intalru question the plant rhetorically he focused all of his Mana to spread over it. Strangely though he could only will Mana in during the short 'Inhales' of the plant and his Mana would be forced away due to it's 'exhaling'. After watching it's breathing pattern and timing between breaths he tried forcing as much of his Mana in as he could between 'breaths' only to have the plant take a shorter inhale...

"What the hell... Dennis said I should rip a plant out and rot it's roots if it won't listen but I didn't think I would find a special plant so early.. and it's WEED! No way will I kill you my precious baby child, I swear to nurture you and help you grow big and strong, so please take my Mana?"

As Intalru fawned and begged over the purple herb he noticed that it began trembling during the beginning of his speech but by the end of it the leaves seemed to spread out and swell as if the purple beauty was puffing it's c.h.e.s.t..

"Heh haha you're able to understand me aren't you? can you speak?" The plants leaves seemed to droop a little at this question as if to say "Sadly no"... Well since you can't tell me about yourself.. "Appraise!"

Ding! Active skill 'Appraisal' has reached level 5. 'Appraisal' is now eligible for a skill evolution. Possible choices at this level are...

(1) 'Eidetic soul' Appraisal will now search your soul's past lives for information on the 'target'.

(2) 'Valiant Vision' You will be able to properly view information from 'Targets' that are up to 50 levels above your own.

... She's talking to me again huh, well I'm not choosing until I figure her out! "Oh beautiful woman in my mind please tell me why you have been so cold to me? if I did something wrong I swear I'll apologize.." "Chirp chirp" F*CK YOU JEMINI CRICKET!!!

Ding! 'A pleasant chat' invite from ?!?!?! will you accept?.... Forget tingling my lizard senses screaming at me right now! "I accept only if you tell me your.." Before I could finish my sentence everything went black, and I realized I was floating..

The world only went black for a second before a Planet sized glowing multicolored orb appeared above Intalru from out of no where.. "I am displeased with your vulgar mouth, your inability to know your own wrong doings, your total lack of respect for those trying to help you, your ignorance of those keeping you safe, your overall lack of morals.." The beautiful yet cold voice rang out across Intalru's mind for the next thirty minutes insulting and criticizing every character flaw it found in him.

Holy Sh*t! she can go on forever oops.. good thing I didn't say that out loud.. "I can hear your thoughts Intalru.." F*... whoa!!! wait no! almost messed up again "I'm sorry ma'am could you tell me who you are?"

The Orb slowly shrank to the size and shape of a human while remaining a mixture of colors and light before speaking again. "I am Asgorath the world shaper.. and I am somewhat responsible for you being reincarnated in this realm."

... As a man that was force fed and believed good ole Bible thumping southern baptism since my first (Human) Memories. I began feeling a lack of evidence and eventually grew up to be an agnostic that was starting to lean on the atheist side of things, before getting tragically gunned down due to a 'conflict of interest' at the ripe old age of 25... I don't really know how I should feel about meeting the god that literally created the multiverse and all things dragon kind. My Kind!

Asgorath began laughing as she read Intalru's self narrative about how he should feel. "You have nothing to worry about child.. I was angry because you called me a.. well never mind I can see you were under extreme amounts of stress and duress due to watching the first blood relation you've ever known or cared for die before you so I shall be magnanimous.. I believe your past culture would say 'forgive and forget'? If only my children could learn from the wise philosophers of your world."

"You must be talking about Bahamut and Tiamat.. Since you've been in my head since I woke up in this world and your all knowing could you possibly tell me How I gained 'Chosen one' level titles from both of them? I mean yeah I 'may' have played around with the titles to scare Yail Voct silly but I'm honestly scared to death for my future.. I feel like I'm on a tight rope and if I fall to the left I get impaled but if I fall to the right I'll fall in a bath of acid. I'm almost a hundred percent positive that the only reason I haven't died from the stress is because my race probably doesn't have to worry about heart attacks or aneurysms.."

After Intalru started talking the words just flooded out even he didn't realize how much anxiety he was bottling up deep inside, most of the books he read about people who reincarnated into another world made it out to be like a video game on hardcore difficulty.. Yeah there are some game like elements that help but this is more like being dropped off in the middle of a foreign land with absolutely no way home..

After listening to Intalru's soul Asgorath began glowing brighter, as the light wrapped around Intalru's body he slowly calmed down as Asgorath answered his question.

"You were chosen by the two of them because I showed them both very different parts of your lives that I knew would attract their attentions.. Bahamut was drawn by your passion for nature while Tiamat revelled in your general hatred towards your fellow man.."

"I don't think I was such a bad guy that Tiamat would be so interested I mean I never even killed anyone... and all I did was clean up a few parks and ponds am I really anything special??... why did you even look at me in the first place?" Intalru asked wondering if the gods were just bored or maybe he really is in a coma dream...

"Good and bad are relative I am sure you know this well.. But you misunderstand me, I have watched you for centuries each time your soul is reborn you leave a mark on your world in some way or another... so do not tarry on the details child, I have read the hearts and souls of many realms and realities in search of you. Someone that wishes for the same as I. Yes you may have been placed on a 'Tight rope' but I know you can keep pressing forward and make it to the end with out a problem, so there is no point in looking down and causing pointless fears or doubt in yourself. You have been given the opportunity, the rest is up to you. If you can achieve the only thing that you have ever truly wished for then the reason I created this world and my only d.e.s.i.r.e will be fulfilled."

And then there was light... Ding! Please select skill evolution option (1) 'Eidetic soul' or option (2) 'Valiant Vision'.

Asgorath's voice rang across my head in her original gentle tone soothing my soul. I guess it's fair to say your not mad at me anymore?... No response, Maybe we can only hold a conversation when she invited me to 'chat'?

But.. did she say I've lived multiple lives?!? so was Buddhism correct, or am I a special case.. Ding! Please select skill evolution option (1) 'Eidetic soul' or option (2) 'Valiant Vision'. She sounds a little impatient..

"Oh cra... oops umm sorry, I'll go with 'Eidetic soul' please"... nothing happened So Intalru just looked back to the purple herb. "Appraise.."