Gifted

Second day of training~

Ji Soo was woken up once again by another heart attack inducing nightmare, making him wake up at 4 am in the morning. He tried sleeping again by his body won't let him, as it stayed wide awake and always cautious, making it hard for him to sleep once again.

Being subjected to torture for most of life, Ji Soo's body started adopting a defense mechanism that always prepares his body for the pain he would receive, in attempt of at least reducing the pain. This defense mechanism allowed Ji Soo to survive the excruciating days and nights of being tortured, but it did not come without a price.

Ji Soo would always wake up even at the slightest movement or noise. Upon waking up, he would stay awake, making him always sleep deprived. Ji Soo developed an intense paranoia, making his fight or flight response always activated. It was truly a harrowing experience, that never left him, even when he had already broken free from Master Egor and his torturer's clutches.

Not able to go back to sleep, Ji Soo quietly got up from his bed, put his shoes on and left the room that he shared with Chen, Nadet and Shiro. He made sure to move carefully and as quietly as possible, in fear of disturbing his friend's sleep. As he walks out of the dorm house, he remembered the faces of how his friends slept so soundly, as if they didn't have a care in the world. It made him envious of them, which only made him even more sad and guilty, because he knew that they have also went through a lot, and that they deserve the comfort and peace that they have right now.

Wanting to shake of his negative thoughts, he decided to run some l.a.p.s around the garden to empty his mind.

As Ji Soo ran, his mind suddenly drifted to yesterday, when Isabelle seated him down at the living area with just the two of them.

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It was during self training, when Isabelle suddenly walked up to him and told him to follow her, making his body tensed. Nevertheless Ji Soo complied immediately and followed her without question. As he quietly followed Isabelle, his heart started beating a hundred miles per hour, while his body started preparing him from the impending pain that he was about to receive, giving hundreds upon hundreds of scenarios in his mind. Ji Soo's defense mechanism immediately activated, as he began silently humming inside his head.

When Ji Soo started becoming a "test subject" at Master Egor's guild, Ji Soo would always hum in attempt to keep his mind off of the pain. Every time he was brought in to be tortured, Ji Soo would always hum the same exact song, that he believed to be the lullaby that was sang to him by his mother when he was really young. He couldn't even remember who his parents are and what they looked like; The lullaby was the only thing he could remember them of.

As he started humming the same exact lullaby, his torturer started becoming irritated, and tortured him even more. From that day forward, Ji Soo only hummed the lullaby inside his head.

Ji Soo didn't even know where Isabelle was taking him, only to find out when they've arrived. Ji Soo was slightly confused as to why Isabelle brought him to the living area, but he still kept his guard up. He told himself to just comply to everything that was going to be told of him, hoping that it would lessen his "torture" time.

Ji Soo has experience all kinds of torture; from poison being pumped directly into his body, to being a slave, for his former guildmates to vent of their stress. Some would have extremely rough i.n.t.e.r.c.o.u.r.s.e with him, be it a man or a woman; while some made him a punching bag, suspending him in the air through a barbed rope tied around his wrists. He went through all of that and more, only because he was deemed weak by one man. Every guild member that Master Egor deemed as weak, will be sent to the dungeons to become a "slave". They were told that as weak individuals, their only purpose is to serve the strong. It was drilled inside their heads that they don't have the right to complain as they are not privileged enough to do so. Their mission is to help the strong become even more strong, through any methods necessary.

Unfortunately for Ji Soo, he instantly became everyone's favorite "slave". But his ultimate nightmare came in the form of a blonde hair young lady, with a constant manic smile on her face: Desdemona or Dessy as she would like to call herself. Once she climbed her way into the upper ranks and gain many favors and privileges, that was the start of Ji Soo's endless torment. As she ordered and made everyone aware that Ji Soo belongs to her and her alone. From that point on, no one else could have Ji Soo, except for Dessy. He was her own personal test subject, as she continually used his body to test her new concocted poisons. The more he screamed his lungs out, the more she would get excited.

Ji Soo thought that Isabelle doesn't seem like the Dessy kind. So he came to the conclusion that Isabelle wanted to use his body, like most ladies in his previous guild who usually just used his body to relive themselves.

Isabelle's back faced Ji Soo, while she fiddled with her MGC. thinking about the impending and obvious order to take of his clothes, Without as second though, Ji Soo started stripping of his clothes.

Ji Soo was already on the process of removing his belt when Isabelle turned to him, making her eyes widen in extreme shock.

"JI SOO, WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING?!" Isabelle shrieked in surprise. Saying that she was simply surprised was an understatement. She was stunned, baffled, flabbergasted, stupefied, dumbfounded, and so much more. She was so socked that she almost tripped on her foot.

Ji Soo froze with dread when he saw Isabelle's reaction. "Did she want to take my clothes off herself?" the thought immediately crossed his mind, making him blanched white, as his heart fell to the ground.

"Ji Soo, you idiot! YOU STUPID IDIOT! Why did you act without any instructions!" Ji Soo silently screamed at himself. As he degrade himself, he started hearing the voices of the ones that used to degraded him.

"You dumb f***ing IDIOT!"

"Good for nothing retard!"

"Dumb f***ing b****!"

"Are you stupid, huh?! Are you f***ing stupid?! See, this is the reason why I'm f***ing you right now, because you are a STUPID F***ING B****!"

When Isabelle suddenly saw Ji Soo, suddenly paled, she instantly became worried.

"Ji Soo, are you okay?" Isabelle gently asked as she slowly approached him.

She was about to put a comforting hand on his shoulder when Ji Soo shut his eyes, while his body suddenly tensed, like he was readying himself for an incoming beating.

Seeing Ji Soo's expression made Isabelle think that he's afraid of her. But when the thought really sunk in, she was beyond startled.

"Wait, is he afraid of me?" Isabelle thought to herself, making her question how she acted the past few days. "Was I really that terrifying? But I didn't even go hard on them! Yeah, what I did with Nadet was an exception. But did I really go way too hard that it affected even Ji Soo?" As thoughts after thoughts popped inside her head, Ji Soo still stood in place like a statue.

The slap that he expected didn't come, but Ji Soo still didn't dare to open his eyes. But when he heard Isabelle say his name once again, he was so afraid that his body instinctively moved on it's own. He suddenly took a step back and knelt on both knees with his head touching the floor.

"I"M SO SORRY! I PROMISE IT WON'T HAPPENED AGAIN!" Ji Soo begged as his body trembled.

Seeing Ji Soo begged on his knees, broke Isabelle's heart.

"What did this guy went thought, for him to be so afraid" Isabelle thought as she mourned for the shy, adorable and precious guy in front of her.

When Isabelle first saw Ji Soo's body, she never expected for it to be sculpted to perfection, which was partially the reason why she became so distracted, that she didn't even notice the scars that covered his body. Only now that she was sober enough, that she realized his reactions towards her. Upon studying his back even more, she saw deep purple and blue blotches scattered all over his body, staining his once delicate porcelain skin, which made her heart break even more.

"Ji Soo stand up" Isabelle gently said, which Ji Soo immediately did, making Isabelle feel like there's a knife stabbing her heart.

"Level to my height" Isabelle uttered with so much sadness, but Ji Soo still obeyed without any hesitation, making Isabelle's heart completely shatter.

Upon bending his knees to get on Isabelle's level, he was completely stunned when Isabelle suddenly hugged him. Ji Soo expected for a lot of things to happened, but being hugged was never one of it. Then he heard Isabelle speak directly to his ear.

"Ji Soo, I want you to listen to me very carefully, okay?" Isabelle said with the most sincerest voice but mixed with sternness as well. "Ji Soo you are no longer trapped. You are no longer caged. The people that chained you will never return, and trust me when I say, that I will personally never let them touch you again. You will now have to face ahead instead of constantly looking back in fear. As long as you are under Lady Maria, everyone will make sure that no one will hurt you, ever again. You are not alone anymore. The monsters are gone. No one will ever hold you back again from walking forward and living your best life. You are free now, and whoever says otherwise will have to not only answer to me, but the whole guild. I know you're afraid and it's hard, but the Guild, your family, will always be hear to help you every step of the way. There is no pressure, there is no time limit, and there is no ultimatum; so move forward at your own pace" Then Isabelle held Ji Soo's cupped his face with both of her hands, and gently forced him to look at her straight in the eyes and asked "Do you understand me?"

Ji Soo didn't know what overtook him, but tears suddenly streamed his face as he slowly nodded. Hearing the words that he wanted to hear for so long, filled his heart with so much warmth, that he felt like it's going to burst anytime. It's like Isabelle knew exactly what to say; Even some things that Ji Soo didn't knew he wanted to hear.

At that moment, Ji Soo felt like, after being in the dark for so long, he finally was able to see the light.

Isabelle once again hugged him and let Ji Soo cry.

After that, Isabelle asked Ji Soo to put on his clothes back, teasing him that his skin is putting her product filled skin to shame.

Isabelle and Ji Soo sat on the couch, as Ji Soo re-told his story to her without leaving even the slightest of detail, courtesy of Isabelle's polite demand.

After hearing Ji Soo's story, Isabelle felt really exhausted from all the emotional roller coaster that she had experienced.

Ji Soo didn't know how long they talked, but there was something that Isabelle said that struck him deeply, which stuck to him ever since.

"Just like what I told Nadet, I will also tell you. You are not weak. Just the fact that you are still here, alive and well, proves the point that you are not weak. You have already gone through so much, but still you kept fighting. Challenges and hardsh.i.p.s are like storms; the more you survived the last one, the more you are stronger and prepared to face the next one. Those that enjoy their lives without any care in the world, under the sun, will surely crumble and be washed away, once the storm hits them.

You are blessed because you have already faced so much. Don't hate the things that you've went through. Those things helped build you up, to become the strong person that you are today. The reason why you still haven't seen what you are capable off, is because you keep choosing to not acknowledge them in the first place.

You unknowingly kept looking back, making you blind to the future that you could've had.

It's never too late to start facing forward and moving ahead. But it's up to you, if you really want to move forward. You will have to constantly ask yourself, 24/7, 365 days a year, how bad you really want it. Breaking out from the old chains of your past will never be easy, as it will constantly hunt you, in attempt to pull you back.

It doesn't matter how much help we give you, because the main question here is you. Are you willing to help yourself? How desperate are you to move forward and leave your past behind?"

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Ji Soo just kept running that he never noticed how long he kept running until daylight broke through the night sky. Ji Soo completely stopped running and stood in place; His soft pants were the only noise that could be heard, as he silently watched the night slowly turned into day.

As Ji Soo heads back to the dorm house, unknown to him, a pair of sad eyes stayed on him. From the moment that he started running till the time that he returned back to the dorm house, the pair of sad eyes watched him with a sense of kindred connection.

When Ji Soo returned to his room, his roommates were still asleep, so he decided to take a quick bath first. He took his time taking a bath, as he relishes the feeling of being enveloped by the warm water that relaxes and comforted his sore muscles. When he was in Master Egor's guild, he never had the luxury of bathing in warm water. The showers were always freezing cold, while privacy was non-existent. He was truly thankful and blessed, that he made the right decision and took a lift of faith in leaving Master Egor's guild.

After rinsing and drying himself, Ji Soo changed to the new set of clothes that he brought. When they joined the Guild, Ji Soo never expected to be gifted new clothes. In his previous Guild, he only had two set of clothes, but now he had so many that it even exceeded the fingers on both of his hands. Not to mention, the clothes were also comfortable too.

Now fully dressed, Ji Soo exited the bathroom while still drying his still damp hair with a towel, only to completely pause, when his eyes met Shiro's extremely worried gaze.

"Good morning!" Ji Soo greeted first, with a cheerful smile, in attempt to sway the conversation from the impending topic, that he knew was about to come.

Shiro's frown only got deeper, making the cheerful smile on Ji Soo's face falter. He knew that he couldn't escape.

"You're still having nightmares?" Shiro asked, but he already knew the answer when Ji Soo averted his eyes elsewhere, to avoid eye contact.

"Dammit!" Shiro hissed with a low voice, making Ji Soo's heart sting.

"Shiro, I'm okay" Ji Soo tried convincing Shiro only for Shiro to glare back at him.

"How can you be okay, huh?! You think I haven't been noticing? You think I'm dumb? You think I didn't hear you kept murmuring in your sleep? I thought I was you brother-"

"And you are!" Ji Soo said with all sincerity.

"Then, why didn't you tell me?" Shiro's voice almost broke, feeling hurt, guilty and angry. Hurt, because for the longest time that they've been together, Ji Soo still didn't trust him enough to share his pain. They've been through hell and back together, for goodness sake, but Ji Soo still decided to hide things from him, when he himself is hurting. Guilty, because when Ji Soo was being taken away to be tortured, he couldn't do anything to stop it from happening and just watch in place helplessly. After every torture, he could always hear Ji Soo's sobs as he kept vomiting his guts out. He dared to even call himself Ji Soo's brother? when he felt so helpless and weak that he couldn't even help his friend. He was pathetic. And he was angry because he was pathetically weak. He was mad because he was helpless. He was mad because Gifteds, their own kind, would still do things to Ji Soo, that normally people should have never went through. But most of all he was absolutely livid that Ji Soo's torturer is still out there, living her life, torturing other Gifteds.

"Shiro, you have to stop beating yourself up for what I went through in the past and what I'm going through right now. It's not your fault and it will never be your fault." Ji Soo said wholeheartedly

"But-" Shiro tried to interject, but was cut off by Ji Soo.

"I know that you and Nadet have been shouldering a lot burden and guilt for the things that I've went through; For the longest time, and I can't thank you both enough for that. But Shiro, we are no longer in Master Egor's guild anymore. You have to let that burden go. Don't waste this opportunity in worrying about me and live your best life ahead. I as well need to start stepping forward, but I cannot do that if you keep worrying about me. I cannot always depend on you or Nadet." Ji Soo explained with a stern expression on his face but his voice oozes of with hope and courage.

Ji Soo was so tired of living in fear, and he's determined to start moving forward and live his best life. But he cannot do so if he kept relying on Shiro and Nadet. He knew that they felt like they need to carry a heavy burden because of what he went through, and was absolutely thankful for them in doing so. But as they carried that burden, it also held them back from taking a step forward in their lives, which made Ji Soo guilty for the longest time. Now that they are finally free from Master Egor's clutches, he also needed to free both Shiro and Nadet from his burdens, and start carrying them on his own.

Shiro's head hang low, as silent tears started streaming down from his eyes. His body lightly tremble from every soft uncontrollable sob that he releases.

Ji Soo walked towards Shiro and gently wrapped his arms around him, enveloping Shiro in his warm embrace. As Ji Soo embraced Shiro, the latter's sob became even more intense as the dam that was holding him back completely shattered.

"I'm so sorry *Sob* I'm so sorry I couldn't help you *Sob* I'm so sorry *sob* for being so helpless *Sob* *Sob* I'm so sorry *Sob* Ji Soo, I'm so sorry *Sob*" Shiro kept apologizing as he tightly wrap his arms around Ji Soo, as if he was holding to him for dear life. Shiro kept crying on Ji Soo's shoulder that it wasn't long before Ji Soo's shirt became soaked with Shiro's tears.

Ji Soo held back his tears, and for once comforted the person that comforted him when he was the one sobbing in the past.

Nadet pretended to still be sleeping but his uncontrollable sobs, completely gave him away. He quietly listened to the whole conversation, but in the end he became a crying mess, like Shiro did. Chen on the other hand, let his tears flow down silently.

Shiro didn't know how much he cried, but Ji Soo never once complained and comforted him until he calmed down. When Shiro finally calmed down, Nadet pretended to yawn and got up from his bed.

Acting surprised in seeing Shiro and Ji Soo already awake, he greeted them "Mornin'! You guys woke up early"

Shiro snorted, then rolled his eyes. "Couldn't this guy be any more obvious?" he though upon seeing Nadet's bloodshot eyes, due to excessive crying.

Ji Soo just chuckled softly from Nadet's antics, while putting on his shoes.

On the other hand, Chen got up from his bed, greeted every one good morning, before heading to the bathroom. Unlike Nadet, Chen never hid or made an excuse about himself from eavesdropping.

After putting on his shoes, Ji Soo informed everyone that he will be heading out first, before leaving their room.

After his talk with Shiro, Ji Soo felt a heavy burden lift and felt a little more freer than before. Although he is far from being free from all his burdens yet, he allowed himself to rejoice in his small victories. He was proud of himself for taking the courage of taking a step forward.