I am Quaresma

Arsenal's transfer work has officially ended, and they have officially entered the technical and tactical drills for the new season with a well-organized staff.

Quaresma has not played against Ballack, either for club or country.

Porto have not faced Bayern in the Champions League, and neither has Arsenal.

The Portuguese national team reached the semi-finals of the World Cup at the same time as the German national team, but unfortunately they did not meet in the semi-finals.

Germany was eliminated by Italy, and there was no way to meet Portugal in the final as the host.

So, this is the first time Quaresma has seen Barack in real life.

Thick eyebrows and big eyes, square and round ground, coupled with that tall and mighty figure, is simply a standard...a runner-up appearance...

Usually the champions are handsome and handsome like Quaresma, with a lot of eyes, and if they have nothing to do to think about crooked ways, the chances of winning will be high.

Too upright, often not easy to win!

Probably, good people have a short life, and bad people live a thousand years, this is the reason!

Football in this world is complicated enough, it is almost ruled by a group of funny guys that Quaresma never thought of, Quaresma is always surrounded by strange things, and now that Ballack appears as a normal person, it is simply in Save Quaresma's worldview.

When he first arrived, Ballack seemed very low-key, not to mention showing his leadership qualities. He just wanted to integrate into Arsenal as soon as possible!

But in Quaresma's view, Ballack was a bit too shy.

Gallas was very slow to change clothes before, and he was always the last one out of the locker room, but Ballack arrived on the first day, but he dared not change first, and wanted to be the last one.

Quaresma was puzzled, what was he shy about?

Could it be that an old man is afraid that others will see him shirtless?

Or is it that a certain part of Barack is too short, and he doesn't want to show it in front of others, and he has a serious inferiority complex?

The more Barack evaded, the more curious Quaresma and the others became.

I don't know if curiosity can kill the cat,

But it was enough to make a few laugh behind and strip Barack off.

The skin is very white!

This is the first impression of Quaresma and other animals on Ballack's upper body!

There is nothing invisible. Could it be that the problem lies in the lower body?

Seeing the malicious smiles of these animals, Barak felt bad.

There is also a practice in football where old people bully newcomers. Isn't he a newcomer himself?

Even if I'm new here, I can still be regarded as a top midfielder in football. Do I still have to go through the experience of a newcomer?

Pulling his pants tightly, Barak was really afraid that some animals would do something to him!

I play for Arsenal, so don't mess with me!

"What are you dawdling about?" Quaresma asked puzzled, "Hurry up and change your clothes and sneakers and go to training!"

Barak, who was holding on to his underpants, smiled in embarrassment at this moment, his head almost drooping, and said coyly, "Well, you go first, I'll change it slowly, there's no rush!"

The more Barack was like this, the more Quaresma wanted to know what concerns Barack had.

Seeing that Quaresma didn't figure it out and vowed not to give up, Barak lowered his head and gave the answer very embarrassingly.

"Well, my feet don't smell very good. I'm afraid that after I take off my shoes, you can't stand it and run away!"

This answer silenced the entire locker room, and he looked at Barack with an incredible look, as if he really smelled it!

Barack is actually sweaty feet?

No wonder he doesn't change clothes and shoes when there are many people, because he is afraid that we won't be able to bear it!

Just when everyone was amazed, Gallas suddenly burst out laughing.

"What is this? If I take off my shoes, you won't be able to run! Hahaha!"

Gallas' tone was even a little disdainful, as if this was something to be proud of!

Quaresma couldn't help rolling his eyes, how did you manage to calm down and talk about sweaty feet?

The abilities of the two new aids are good, but the problem is that the Arsenal dressing room will bid farewell to the fresh air in the future!

There seems to be no big difference between gaining strength at such a price and gaining economic development at the cost of smog!

It may be a psychological effect. Through the shoes, Quaresma seems to have smelled a sour smell!

Nima!

Going to throw up!

Can I apply to the club for a separate room for Gallas and Ballack?

The club has always promoted humanity and now is the time for you to deliver on your promises!

People-oriented, don't stop at the literal meaning!

Is this the locker room version of Resident Evil?

Just when everyone was inexplicably horrified, Gallas and Ballack had already started a competition to defend their honor!

"I am the sour foot king of the Seine, how can I get my name in vain?" Gallas was born on the banks of the Seine.

Barak did not show any weakness, "Do you really think that I, the East German fungus madman, will be afraid of you?"

It's like a decisive battle on the top of the Forbidden City. In the end, Gallas and Barak died together!

They will be buried with... the entire Arsenal first team...

 …

Facts have proved that Quaresma's good expectations may be in vain. The two new aids Ballack and Gallas do not seem to be normal people. At least normal people will not compete whose feet are more interesting..... .

After the reinforcement of the transfer market, Arsenal's main lineup for the new season has also surfaced. Recently, Wenger has been exploring the potential of this main lineup in training.

If facing a strong team, the starting lineup of 4231 is balanced offensively and defensively, and the midfielder will not be at a disadvantage. Arsenal will have the capital to compete with any team.

In the face of underdogs, the starting lineup will only become the standard 442 positions. The double forwards Henry and Adebayor charge forward, and the combination of Xiaofa and Ballack in the midfield can directly suppress the opponent and provide a steady stream of support.

If the thickness of the bench is not considered, then Arsenal is absolutely capable of ensuring competitiveness in the long journey of the season.

But the only regret is that Ashley Cole's departure still has a certain impact on Arsenal. As the best left-back in the Premier League, he is a very important part of Arsenal's tactics.

Although the replacement Chrissy is good, he is still not as threatening as Ashley Cole.

Gallas, a new aid, can only play left back at Chelsea, but he prefers to return to the center. At Arsenal, he finally realized his wish.

It's just that Campbell and Kolo Toure are sitting in Arsenal's defense. It is obviously impossible for Gallas, who has just arrived, to be strong enough to directly press one of the two on the bench, so he can only wait for the opportunity slowly.

Of course, if the opponent has a right midfielder or right winger with a strong blasting ability, then Wenger may let Gallas play the left back to strengthen the defense.

Gallas wanted to cry, but at least he was able to play the main force in Chelsea, but he couldn't even play the main force in Arsenal. It's really sad!

What's even more sad is that because in the substitute lineup, he has to face Quaresma's ravages against him every time he trains, which is extremely cruel, and Gallas can't wait to announce his retirement directly.

Of course, Quaresma didn't care, Gallas cried and cried, and he got used to it!

What makes Quaresma satisfied is that every time he rehearses a new lineup and new tactics, the growth rate of his team coordination ability has been significantly accelerated, which is much more useful than watching game videos day and night.

Originally, Quaresma had a very creative idea, to sign up for the football coaching training class by himself, and systematic learning, will his team's ability to cooperate grow by leaps and bounds?

However, after learning about the relevant matters of the coach training class in detail, Quaresma gave up this idea!

In his imagination, the coach training class is like a cram school. A group of people who are interested in the football coaching career sit in the classroom and listen to the senior tactical lecturers on the podium. , Then, a group of rookie coaches was born.

But in fact, that's not the case at all!

The football coach training system is divided into five levels. No matter what career you have engaged in before, even if you are a top professional player, if you want to become a football coach after retiring, you can only move forward along these five steps, step by step, Cannot skip grades.

The first-level coach training is very simple, but the design of the tutorial is only to teach students the basic knowledge of football and a simple way to improve their personal football skills, and does not involve technical and tactical knowledge at all.

The second level of coach training will also not involve technical and tactical technical and tactical theory.

Only at the third level can students start to really teach students the overall control of 11-a-side football, technical and tactical principles, training methods and other aspects of knowledge.

In other words, if Quaresma wants to improve his teamwork ability through the coaching training class, he must first pass the boring first-level and second-level training and exams before he can obtain it in the third-level training class. Theoretical knowledge of techniques and tactics.

Too much trouble!

If you get the third-level coach qualification certificate, you can become a youth training coach yourself!

It was a waste of time, and this thing cannot be taught by correspondence, so Quaresma directly gave up the idea.

Let's grow slowly by Wenger's side imperceptibly!

No matter how bad it is, Arsenal still has a few assistant coaches. It’s not illegal to talk to them about tactics if you have nothing to do. The price, bribe, bribe!

With such a hard-working and studious personality, perhaps he has not retired yet, and his coaching ability is already comparable to some super coaches!

It's very interesting to think about directly coaching giants after retiring, seamlessly connecting!

 …

During the construction of the overall tactics, Arsenal played several warm-up matches, winning and losing, but no one cared about the results.

If someone thinks that Arsenal's warm-up match is not good, the future of the new season is bleak, and when the season is over, his face will probably be swollen!

Everyone's predictions for the Premier League champions in the new season are actually similar.

Chelsea, who have been to the top of the Premier League for two consecutive seasons, are still the number one favorite to win the championship. A strong lineup, mature tactics, and a top-notch head coach are the reasons why everyone is optimistic about them. Their chances of winning the championship are the greatest.

However, Arsenal is also not to be underestimated in the hearts of everyone. They already have the ability to threaten Chelsea's dominance. In the summer, they introduced superstar Ballack. At least in the main lineup, Arsenal can completely compete with Chelsea. The only weak The problem probably lies in the depth of the bench.

Of course, with Quaresma, the number one player in football, Arsenal will have the opportunity to bridge any gaps. This is the most amazing thing about Quaresma!

Do not underestimate the magic of Quaresma.

Arsenal did not have the capital to win the Champions League last season, but it was precisely because of Quaresma's magical performance that Arsenal defeated all opponents and stood on the highest podium.

The same is true for this summer's World Cup. Compared with the giants, Portugal does not have an obvious champion appearance, but Quaresma helped Portugal win the Hercules Cup almost by himself!

So scary!

So with Arsenal's lineup almost as good as Chelsea's, and with the sublimation of Quaresma, who dares to say that Arsenal will not be able to beat Chelsea?

Therefore, in everyone's mind, Arsenal and Chelsea are two equal favorites to win the championship!

As for the other two traditional giants Manchester United and Liverpool, I am afraid they will drift away from the champion!

Manchester United introduced Carrick, but it doesn't seem to be able to sublimate the existing lineup. Even if young players such as Ronaldo and Rooney become more and more mature, it is definitely unknown whether they can compete with Chelsea and Arsenal.

The Red Army Liverpool is even less interesting. A Dirk, who can only dive in the World Cup, can make them directly have the strength to win the championship?

Nobody believed it at all!

From the odds of winning the championship given by the gaming company, the mainstream view can already be seen.

Chelsea odds of 3.80 to win the title

Arsenal odds 3.90 to win

Manchester United odds of winning the title 12.00

Liverpool title odds 16.00

 …

Arsenal's 0.1 odds behind are actually because of their bench depth.

The odds of Liverpool and Manchester United have both exceeded 10. Obviously, everyone is not optimistic about their prospects for winning the championship!

In the top scorer odds list, Quaresma has topped the list and is far ahead.

Last season, Quaresma was only behind teammate Henry, and won the silver boot of the Premier League season, ranking ahead of Ruud van Nistelrooy.

But this does not mean that Quaresma's scoring ability is not enough.

On the one hand, Quaresma's attendance rate in the league is not high, and the overall game time is far less than that of competitors;

On the other hand, in many cases, Arsenal defeated their opponents. In the situation where the victory has been secured early, I am afraid that Quaresma will not go all out and fight too hard.

At the same time, teammate Henry is aiming at the Golden Boot, and Quaresma may not be willing to compete with Henry.

This is the main reason why Quaresma failed to win the Golden Boot in the league!

Aspiring to the Champions League Golden Boot by breaking the Champions League single-season personal scoring record, and scoring an incredible 12 goals in the World Cup, it seems that this is Quaresma's true ability!

Who dares to underestimate such a super shooter who scores goals like hemp?

Last season, Quaresma gave up the Golden Boot to his teammate Henry, so how could Henry be ashamed to continue this season, let alone the fight for Reesma?

Ruud van Nistelrooy is gone, Henry does not argue, who else can pose a threat to Quaresma's golden boot?

Perhaps, only Shevchenko, the Ukrainian nuclear warhead who just joined Chelsea, has such a possibility!

Of course, all of this is based on the fact that Quaresma's goals this season have not improved significantly.

If Quaresma really explodes in the Premier League in the new season and the number of goals breaks through the sky, then there is no need to worry about who the competitors are!

At that time, I am afraid that Dugu will really seek defeat!

The odds offered by the gaming company for Quaresma's Golden Boot are astonishingly low, which is obviously profitable. If the odds are set high, all the bets will not be enough to pay.

In short, everyone is full of expectations for Arsenal and Quaresma in the new season.

The era of Quaresma is really coming!

 …

"Let's do group activities at night. After training for so long, there is no entertainment. I feel like my whole body is going to rust!"

During the training interval, Eboue began to stir up nightclub entertainment.

With Ashley Cole gone, the Ivorian has become Arsenal's entertainment leader.

Several animals responded one after another, and Gallas, who had just joined, also actively joined the small group. He was the most staunch supporter of the nightclub operation.

However, Quaresma has no time to go down with them. The purpose of unrestrained behavior is to find a kind of spiritual stimulation. Everyone has different pursuits. If you just want to be stimulated, then Quaresma has too many ways up!

If you have time to go to nightclubs, you might as well go to the iron, or go to school to find Emma. Even if you want to have a little ambiguity with different beauties, there is no need to go to entertainment venues. The purpose of the flesh and blood there is not simple.

Moreover, there is the Community Shield tonight, and Quaresma still wants to watch the game!

The two teams participating in the Community Shield are Chelsea and Liverpool. Chelsea is the Premier League champion and Liverpool is the FA Cup champion. Only they are eligible to compete for this Super Cup similar to other countries.

Perhaps this is not a high-gold competition, and honors are optional, and everyone doesn't care too much.

But the Community Shield Cup is a review of the new season of the two teams, and something can still be seen from the game.

These two opponents deserve Quaresma's attention!

In the previous life, Chelsea turned from prosperity to decline this season, and conflicts broke out in many aspects. Even with a strong team, it was inevitable that the tragedy of the past three years would be inevitable.

And Liverpool may always be in an unstable state in the league, but they reached the Champions League final again this season. Although they were eventually avenged by Milan for the night of Istanbul, they may also become Arsenal's opponent.

Therefore, Quaresma must pay attention to these two opponents!

Shaking his head and rejecting Eboue's proposal, Quaresma went back to the locker room, ready to change and go home!

However, the moment he pushed the door open, Quaresma ran away. If he hadn't run fast, he would have been left here!

Nima, Gallas is impatient to change shoes!

Quaresma ran a long way, his face was green after being poisoned, he really almost died inside.

I am Nima!

So poisonous!

Arsenal can't mix it up!

When Gallas came out, he was still a little embarrassed on his face, but secretly happy in his heart.

Let you ravage me on the training ground, and I will ravage you with my stinky feet!

 …

Back home, Quaresma was still in shock, but as the game started, he slowly calmed down.

Let's see what Chelsea does, and then look at what Liverpool does. These two opponents are both very strong!

The tactical thinking of the two coaches is stronger than restricting the opponent, so the game may not be very exciting, but it must be very intense!

The game scene did not surprise Quaresma, but the result still surprised Quaresma.

Liverpool won, beating Chelsea 2:1 and getting a good start to the new season.

In the game, Liverpool showed excellent tactical execution ability, and the state seems to be better than Chelsea, so it is not surprising to win the championship.

But Chelsea's performance was a bit bad!

Shevchenko was completely unable to exert his due power on the front line and was lost in Chelsea's tactical system. This is also the most important reason for Chelsea's defeat.

Quaresma knows that this deal will eventually prove to be a failure. Shevchenko will find it difficult to display his own strength in Mourinho's tactical system, and it will also affect the overall strength of the strong team. Let Shevchenko occupy the main position, I am afraid that Chelsea still cannot escape the fate of decline.

Drogba's fulcrum role is indispensable, and he must occupy a main position, instead of letting Shevchenko play, he can only play double forwards. In this way, the midfielder is not easy to arrange!

Mourinho is still better at the 4231 formation built on a tight defensive system.

This is where it gets interesting!

Maybe they didn't even need to beat Chelsea, they fell by themselves!

After watching the game, he expressed his emotions, and Quaresma continued his iron-playing career. Although the equipment in the gym was about to be broken by him, this was not a reason for Quaresma to be lazy.

I haven't left everyone far behind!

Don't use "overwhelming heights" to express all loneliness, this is just a way for successful people to pretend.

If you don't stand at the highest point, you don't even have the capital to express such emotion!

Although Quaresma can barely be regarded as the number one player in the world football, neither Ronaldo nor Messi has stopped catching up, and this season's Kaka is destined to be superb. If he doesn't work hard, he will definitely be beaten Kaka caught up.

Quaresmar was not reconciled to giving the title back to others before it was warmed up in his arms.

So, keep trying!

"Five hundred push-ups!"

"If you can't do it, do another 500 squats!"

"Finally, ten more sets of equipment will be used to suppress the shock, and the task for tonight is almost done!"

Quaresma continued to train with Xiao Li's training method while humming, until he was exhausted before throwing himself on the bed and falling asleep!

In the dream, Quaresma was making out with Emma, ​​took off his clothes, but was picked up by Wenger.

"At this time, you still have time to do bad things, hurry up and play for me!"

So, the ignorant Quaresma went on the stage with his butt bare, and then he faced 11 strong and strong opponents...

"If you keep looking at my ass, then we really can't have fun together!"

Quaresma murmured, rolled over, and fell asleep again.

 …

Arriving at the training base early the next day, Quaresma started the desperate training mode again. Before his teammates arrived, he should do at least 20 sets of shooting exercises!

The teammates arrived one after another, and Quaresma clearly saw that the guys who participated in the group activities last night had big dark circles and yawned endlessly, feeling as if they could lie on the lawn and fall asleep at any time.

You can tell at a glance that they must have done something wrong last night!

However, when the training officially started, the two new aids, Gallas and Ballack, had not yet arrived, which made Quaresma very puzzled.

Have the two guys forgotten the difference in the start time of training between the new club and the old club?

The morning's hard training passed, until lunch time, under the surprised eyes of teammates, Gallas and Ballack arrived late, the frustrated expressions of the two coincidentally made Quaresma imagine big drama.

The two had a good time last night, got drunk, each took the girl in their arms to the hotel, and had a carnival all night.

When I woke up in the morning, I found that the two of them were sleeping on the same bed!

This is very scary?

So, who was the one who carnivaled with me last night?

 …

But obviously, Quaresma's brain supplement is very unreliable, and the fact is not the case at all!

Soon, Quaresma learned what had happened from Eboue's mouth.

Last night at the nightclub, we really had a good time. Everyone hunted for beauty and got their own rewards. They took the girls they caught to the hotel to continue to have fun.

However, the bad thing is the bad thing on the two pairs of stinky feet of Gallas and Barack.

The girl Galas caught was too impatient, and as soon as he entered the hotel room, he took the initiative to post it, got entangled with Gallas, and impatiently helped Gallas take off his clothes and shoes... ..

Then she passed out...

Waking up in the morning, the girl called the police directly. The reason was not that Gallas violated her, but that Gallas planned to murder him.

Don't murder, why store poison gas in shoes?

So, Gallas was dealing with this matter in the morning, so that he missed training.

Gallas wanted to cry without tears!

Blame me?

Who made you so anxious?

I usually disinfect my feet before going to bed, if you don’t let me disinfect, don’t blame me if you get poisoned!

Fortunately, such an embarrassing incident has not been heard by the paparazzi, otherwise it is estimated that Gallas will become the laughing stock of world football.

And Barack seems to be more unlucky. He didn't go to the nightclub with a few animals last night, but went on a date with the girlfriend he just dated.

Unexpectedly, after enjoying a romantic candlelight dinner in the hotel room, the two were about to have a passion, and then Barack took off his shoes, and his girlfriend vomited directly.

When his girlfriend ran away in a panic, Barack was dumbfounded.

Why didn't the girl respond when she was passionate a few times before?

He always thought that girls could bear the unique smell on his feet!

After a while, the girl called and broke up with Barack directly, and at the same time, told the whole story.

It turned out that she suffered from sinusitis before and couldn't smell it at all, so she did some shameless things with Barack a few times, and she didn't notice anything unusual.

But today, the sinusitis was cured, but Barak gave her a big surprise.

Almost didn't let her die there!

Are these biological weapons?

separate!

We must break up!

No matter how Barak tried to save her, the girl's attitude was very firm!

Even though Barak is good in all aspects, he can't help but feel sick when he thinks that he will live with Barak in the future.

It stinks too much!

Then, Ballack, who was broken in love, got drunk, and was so drunk that he slept until almost noon before getting up to the training base!

 …

After hearing what happened to the two of them, the corner of Quaresma's mouth twitched slightly. He really wondered how the two of them grew up so big!

Are their closest parents still alive?

Perhaps, the Resident Evil scene in Hollywood movies will really appear, but it may not be caused by the leakage of biological viruses. The reason is likely to be caused by the germs on the feet of Gallas and Barack...

It seems that the plan to build an isolation locker room must be put on the agenda!

 …

Finally, the new season of the Premier League kicked off.

In the first round, Arsenal sat in the new stadium to meet the challenge of Villa.

Arsenal's season ticket sales in the new season are very good, which makes the construction of Arsenal's new stadium meaningful. If the fans don't buy it, the original number of fans will still enter the stadium, and Arsenal will become the laughing stock of the entire world football .

Fans are also full of expectations for Arsenal's performance in the new season. Compared with the undefeated championship season, it seems that Arsenal's current lineup is even more dominant.

Moreover, even the Champions League champion, which was once unthinkable, is also won. Arsenal can definitely rank among the top giants. How can the fans not continue to support the team at this time?

During the warm-up, the fans kept singing, from the Arsenal team anthem, to simple songs written for each player, and finally sang "There is only one Arsene Wenger!", full of enthusiasm!

Quaresma naturally has his own songs, but Quaresma has never heard which song Quaresma's song was adapted from.

Sometimes Quaresma is thinking, how about finding a composer and lyricist to create a song for himself, and let the fans sing this song to praise himself?

Well, this is a bit too shameless!

After the warm-up was over, the starting players returned to the locker room, while the substitute players sat directly on the bench. Quaresma followed Gallas angrily and also sat on the bench.

That's right, Quaresma did not enter the starting lineup for this game.

Because of reaching the World Cup finals, Quaresma did not get much rest time in the summer, so Wenger is going to give Quaresma more time to adjust, so he does not intend to let Quaresma take on heavy responsibilities soon.

Even Ballack and Henry did not enter the starting list. In case of injury when they are not in good condition, the loss outweighs the gain.

Quaresma doesn't think there is a problem with his state. After all, there is a system guarantee, and the last thing he worries about is the state problem.

But as if Wenger always thought that he was not physically fit, the stubborn professor would always decide something according to his inherent cognition, so Quaresma had no choice but to sit on the bench.

It's okay, the professor will think of himself when the team's offense fails!

Is not it?

Set a small goal first, such as 1 second to remember: Shukeju

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