2 – 1. I Don’t Believe in Fortune Telling

What exactly is fortune telling?

People have different views on it, but at least for me, I can say this clearly.

Fortune telling is just superstition, irrational, unscientific, leaving things up to chance.

Ever since my parents failed at business, fell for a fortune teller, pulled up the pillars of our house to offer them, then committed suicide – my opinion has never changed.

If fortune telling was really divine, our family would never have ended up like that.

“….Don’t dwell on the past.”

While not to my extent, most people see fortune telling as something fun or a confidence boost, not something to be taken seriously.

Then how do famous fortune tellers seem to make accurate predictions and earn millions?

“It’s all fraud.”

Background checks, gathering intel, reading people, psychological counseling.

You could say fortune tellers are more like cold readers. They gather information in various ways to make inferences.

Like if someone wears expensive designer clothing but seems uncomfortable in it, they probably aren’t actually rich.

Or if they repeat exaggerated gestures while talking, they’re likely lying.

Just things that aren’t definitive but have high probability. Fortune tellers piece together those kinds of clues about strangers to make plausible guesses.

It’s debatable whether “fraud” is the right term, but they babble about heavenly revelations and fate while actually doing psychological analysis, so fraud fits.

This game probably intends me to actually tell fortunes like a fortune teller, but…

“Who the hell made the odds so crappy?”

What good is 25% at best? It’s 20% for strangers I’ve never met!

Job skills should get stronger by clearing job quests, but fortune teller job quests will definitely require fortune telling.

And they expect me to clear it with a 20% accurate fortune telling skill?

Obviously bullsh*t.

“So…I need to prepare.”

[Time Remaining: 71 hours 43 minutes 32 seconds]

I glared at the “Time Remaining” listed in the tutorial quest.

It’s decreased some, but there’s still about 3 days left.

‘I just need to finish within that.’

Romance Academy had time limits on many quests and events too. Though it being stuck in the tutorial is new.

Is this meant as consideration? That crazy b*tch’s consideration?

I don’t even boil with rage anymore. My anger at her just builds silently.

“Just you wait until I get back.”

Whether she’s the developer or whatever, I’ll beat her up and get her admitted to a psychiatric hospital. Definitely.

As I reaffirm my motivation to clear this sh*tty game, I look behind me and see an obvious “open me!” wooden door.

I vaguely intuit that it leads to the Romance Academy entrance exam.

From noble mtl dot com

I’ve sorted my thoughts, so only going through the door is left, but…

“….I should still try the exam first.”

I’ve given up hope on my Fortune Telling skill, but you never know, it could still be useful. There’s a difference between a completely useless skill and a 1-in-4-tries skill. Even if it’s trash tier, the odds are still better than nothing…!

“But how do I use it? Just clicking worked in-game.”

Tick, tick.

Nothing changes when I click the job skill in the status window.

So the only possibility left is…

“Fortune Telling.”

Pwahhh!

As I think about using the goddamned skill and say its name out loud, the empty air starts shining faintly.

What, I have to say “Fortune Telling” every time I want to use it?

That’s so stupidly corny—

Thump.

“…Tarot cards?”

What fell out glowing was a stack of beautifully decorated tarot cards.

Since it made such a flashy appearance, I thought it might be a hidden tool, but…

“….Just normal.”

No magical energy, no special art, not even sturdy. A slight tear and they ripped easily.

Just ordinary tarot cards you can find anywhere.

“Is it telling me to read fortunes with these for starters?”

Nothing changes when I speak out loud to the floating status window. Not that I expected a response to my muttered grumbling.

I tidy up around me a bit in the messy room and sit down to shuffle the tarot cards.

Swish, swish, shuffle.

It’s been a while, but the feeling is just like back then.

I use a casino shuffle style, bending the stack in half and riffling the cards, then lay them face down with the backs up.

Alright, now then.

“What should I read?”

If I think about it simply, questions like “Can I clear this sh*tty game?” or “Can I return to reality?” come to mind, but those are taboo.

“Fortune tellers don’t even know the day they’ll die, they say.”

Exactly, fortune tellers who can’t even divine their own death date. It’s a saying that lays bare the distrust and doubt towards fortune telling.

Didn’t I already say, fortune telling is just luck without scientific basis. It’s only guessing at human psychology.

So fortune tellers have no reason to read their own fortune.

Of course, that’s in reality, there’s no rule saying it would apply here, but…it still feels awkward.

“Each job had some hidden factors…”

While not listed in the status window, each job has characteristics you could say are hidden.

For jobs like ‘corporate slave’, ‘investor’, a considerable amount of money gets automatically deposited each month.

For jobs like ‘combat mage’, ‘elemental mage’, there’s a setting they’re smart so they learn things faster than other jobs.

Or like ‘royalty’, they start with ridiculously high +80 favorability with imperial faction characters, but also have a nightly chance of assassination event as a penalty.

Why weren’t these important things explained in the descriptions? It made me so mad I sent a 5,700 character message to my sister, who just ignored it…

Anyway, I don’t know if there’s something hidden for the Fortune Teller job, so I need to be careful.

After roughly thinking it over, I decided to first ask whatever popped into my head.

“Will anything special happen at the entrance exam?”

1 card, 2 cards, 3 cards.

I’m using a three card spread to read the fortune.

I lay out 3 cards drawn randomly from the tarot deck in front of me in order.

“The first is…”

An old man wearing a crown sitting on a stone throne.

Major Arcana #4, the Emperor.

“The Emperor…”

The Emperor card typically symbolizes authority, stability, leadership, perfection.

When asking about how an event will proceed, the cards are usually read in the order drawn.

The Emperor for first means a stable, good start.

“Second.”

A general in a chariot pulled by two sphinx-like creatures.

Major Arcana #7, the Chariot.

This represents victory, success. Here it means the exam will proceed actively…

“…Reversed.”

The Chariot card was upside down.

Reversed cards in tarot usually have the opposite meaning of upright.

If the Chariot is reversed…it means defeat or loss.

“………”

While I don’t believe this result, it does leave a bad taste.

Without hiding my irritation, I flip over the final card.

The last is – a sky with clouds, and a wheel floating in that sky. Surrounded by things like birds, angels, snakes, and a fox.

“….Wheel of Fortune.”

Major Arcana #10, Wheel of Fortune.

Normally it symbolizes fate, a turning point, fortune as the name suggests.

But if reversed, the meaning changes.

“Reversed for a #10 Major Arcana means…”

Instability, things going wrong.

Ha.

“This is why I say fortune telling is bullsh*t.”

Since I’m doing it, why not show me some positive future for once? Why specifically predict a bad future?

…Wait a minute.

“What does 15% accuracy even mean?”

How does the fortune telling being right even work?

The tarot cards, synonymous with fortune telling, have 22 Major Arcana and 4 Minor Arcana suits of 14 cards each, 78 total.

And each arcana has different meanings, most of all different interpretations.

‘How many tarot card types are there originally?’

Some tarot include the original arcane, some have different art, some even flip the meaning of upright and reversed over time.

Tarot interpretations are so varied and overflowing that even with the same cards, different fortune tellers give different readings.

So how is that determined here? Is it based on my interpretation?

‘Then if the exam going wrong means 15%, doesn’t that mean an 85% chance nothing happens?’

While I was pondering the accuracy rate, an infuriating status window appeared, crushing all my thoughts.

[Fortune Telling Skill Use Complete!

Fortune Contents: Will anything special happen at the entrance exam? *heart pounds*

Progress: Emperor (Upright), Chariot (Reversed), Wheel of Fortune (Reversed)

Result: The exam starts out wonderfully with no issues thanks to a royal participant! But then, for some reason, a weird chariot comes and ruins everything! Disappointed by the ruined exam, you end up consoling yourself by petting the wheel of fortune that’s now upside down! Don’t worry, this is just the chaotic beginning to your adventures at Romance Academy!

Odds of result occurring precisely: 15% (Base 10% + Tarot card use 5%) ]

“Yeah, right.”

It included an unasked heart pounds, interpreted the Emperor as an actual royal, the reversed Chariot as a literal chariot ruining the exam, and especially the nonsensical petting an upside down wheel of fortune, leaving me speechless, but…

The last line is the most dumbfounding.

“Odds of the result happening ‘precisely’?”

So there’s an 85% chance instead of a weird chariot, it’s a weird student ruining the exam, and the thing I pet at the end is a cat instead of a wheel?

Or, none of the events described happen at all.

“Bullsh*t.”

The odds of that asinine result happening precisely are definitely 0%. No, did me doing a reading make it 15%?

I roughly tossed the tarot cards I’d laid out into a corner of the room and spewed curses.

“I won’t use you anymore.”

I just confirmed the uselessness of a skill I thought would be useless anyway.

Better to experience it directly instead of complaining here…

“….Let’s go.”

Steeling myself, I turn the door handle and open it.

And what appears beyond is—

“Congratulations on passing the entrance exam!”

“Hooray, congratulations!”

“Ha ha ha! The entrance exam is nothing against me!”

“Today’s the real test!”

“May things go as they should.”

Dialogue that still damages my sanity no matter how many times I read it.

<Congratulations on passing the Romance Academy entrance exam!>

“…Why is only the name in English?”

Banners I couldn’t see in-game.

And people congratulating me on the entrance exam, not the entrance ceremony or passing the exam.

At the center of it all.

“Life…”

I alone was lamenting life.

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