42 – Side) Adele Listonia(完)

– Xx year xx month xx day

Today I met my fiancee for the first time.

But it was so pretty that I thought it was a fairy.

I should have thought about it. It was a problem to spit it out.

From now on, I won’t do that.

***

The first page of her diary contains the first time she and Lian met.

At little Lian’s cute record, she smiled smallly, forgetting for a moment that the reason she came here was because Lian died.

The memories of her and Lian in the past were still memories that made me smile when I recalled them.

“······This is not the time.”

She soon realized why she was reading this, and she started reading her diary again.

– Xx month xx year xx

Recently, my father and mother have become more and more disappointed in me.

Most of them were my fiancée Adele’s simple things, so why can’t I?

At first, I felt sorry for my father and mother who did not appreciate my efforts and compared them.

If I try harder, I wonder if my efforts will be recognized.

I think I need to study harder in the future.

***

The contents of the diary that Rihanna lived while being compared to her.

“······The reason Lian did that…”

It felt like a disorganized puzzle was coming together little by little.

At some point, even when she was alone with her, Lian started bringing books to study with.

The two hands that never let go of the book despite her embarrassing confession of love. Every time we met, Lian’s expressions became darker.

The words that Countess Kindred said while holding her by the collar before coming here.

– Even if it wasn’t just you! If it wasn’t for you… I wouldn’t have anything to compare him to…

From that point on, I wonder if Lian was broken little by little.

Just for being her fiancé who was perfect in everything. She gets her own efforts put down for such nonsense reasons.

Could it be that her heart was slowly breaking down?

“I…What did I do?”

And what did she do while Rihanna was having such a hard time?

She only whined to Ryan why she didn’t look after herself. Didn’t she even notice that Lian was having a hard time?

– Xx month xx year xx

Today her mother yelled at me.

It was because I hadn’t reached the 3rd circle. Adele has already reached the 3rd circle at that age. Why are you like that

He was angry with me.

It wasn’t without regret. I tried hard too. I… Did my best.

Now I wanted to resent even innocent Adele.

Why do you make me compare because I am so good? It seemed like the qualifications in my heart were shouting like that.

But I couldn’t. As I just wrote above, this isn’t Adele’s fault, it’s my fault for not meeting the expectations of her mother and her father.

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······I missed Adele.

***

“····.”

Even though you haven’t seen the following content. Obviously, this is the first time she sees this diary.

I expected the contents of the diary to appear next.

This isn’t just Rian’s story, it’s a story she’s experienced as well.

– Xx month xx year xx

My mother and father’s expectations grew higher and higher.

After hearing that Adele started her successor class and that she became a more outstanding person, she tried to start her successor class as well.

It didn’t matter much in and of itself to teach the successor. The expectations placed on me were too high.

You really entrusted me with a job that only a genius like Adele could do. Naturally, when I couldn’t get the job done, he yelled at me.

And when I hear that kind of screaming. I wondered why I was living.

At the word that you are a worm that can’t even do these things. I kept wondering why I was still alive.

My childhood friend, Adele, who was the only one who warmly hugged me, said that she hadn’t had time to meet me because she was busy with her heir classes.

I understand, but it was also true that I felt sad.

······What is the reason I am really alive? Now I just want to give up everything.

***

As she expected, the following text was written by Rihanna, whose self-esteem was completely shattered.

Rihanna is getting more and more broken due to her endless comparisons with her.

And she couldn’t take care of Lian because she was busy.

Tears welled up.

“Master…”

Her

I heard Undine’s voice beside her, looking at her with her worried eyes.

Does she deserve this kind of worry?

Actually, she didn’t do anything to help the person she loved when she was having a hard time.

– Xx month xx year xx

I missed class for the first time today.

I was in her room with the excuse that I was sick and I was covered with a blanket, but the teacher who taught me stopped teaching me.

At first, I felt guilty for skipping classes without permission. Soon, I felt a sense of joy that I hadn’t listened to the adults.

Such an easy job. Why have I been struggling so far?

***

The content after that was written by Lian, who was gradually turning into a madman.

From the story of how she skipped class for the first time on the excuse of being sick, to the story of how she didn’t know why she had such a hard life.

And the incidents that Lian committed while turning into a madman.

Drinking and going wild at a noble party, getting close with Philip, who was rumored to be rumored. These things were written in the diary.

As if letting us know that Ryan has changed.

The pretty handwriting that had been neatly written until now has gradually changed to scrawled handwriting. The contents of the diary, which had no swear words, let alone profanities, were half filled with profanities.

“······· Huh?”

While I was flipping through the pages of my diary filled with profanity.

She found a normal page, just like before. After reading the contents, she couldn’t help but be surprised.

“······That time.”

The contents of that page contained the time when Ryan and her fell apart.

– Xx month xx year xx

I met Adele today.

My childhood friend, whom I can’t quite remember when I last met. It is much more beautiful than the last time I saw it.

Adele, whom she hadn’t seen in a long time, asked if the rumors she had heard were real.

I had no choice but to answer that question with the truth.

And when she said why did she change that much? At her words she asks to come back as the good childhood friend she remembers from before.

I said back, “What does it matter to you?”

It was impulsive. It shouldn’t have been. What did I do to hurt Adele?

Did the alcohol you drank yesterday make you say that? I should have restrained myself a bit.

······It might have been a good thing. I’ve already crossed the line too far to return to my past self.

It would have been better for Adele not to have a friend called me.

***

Although she regretted telling her her words that hurt her. Soon, the contents of the diary that he was mocking himself saying that it was a good thing.

She looked like she was going to cry again.

It’s been fine up until this point. She wouldn’t walk away just because she was hurt, but if she had asked more about why Rian had changed so much.

If that were the case, would things have gone the way they are now?

The diary is over.

– Xx month xx year xx

I remembered.

What kind of world is this world?

And then I realized. What have i done so far

I had to apologize. I had to apologize for hurting Adele.

Even if you can’t be forgiven. If you think about what kind of existence Adele I hurt.

I had to pay for this crime somehow.

***

The next page of the diary contains something that is difficult to understand.

Lian’s monologue that she realized what kind of world this world is and what she has been doing.

I had a hard time understanding what that meant. After that, the content was clearly understandable. That she must somehow pay for her sins that have hurt her.

But she had to stop shedding tears for a moment and let her wonder.

Contrary to the fact that Rihanna wrote in her diary that she had to apologize, she had only come to see her once.

Even at that time, I didn’t apologize, I only left a good word to say don’t get sick and get well.

“······Still left.”

Still, there were still remnants of the diary. I turned the next page as I had done so far.

– Xx month xx year xx

It’s late. It’s too late.

The rumors about me that had spread weren’t going to be resolved by saying that I’m doing good things now, or that I’m clearing up what I’ve been doing.

I cut off the other youngsiks I went with so far, and apologized to the aristocratic family I did wrong.

I tried sponsoring an orphanage with my pocket money, which had already been cut off for a long time.

There seemed to be no sign of the rumor going back.

······All of this must be karma. With the body of a mere extra, he set up all kinds of messes.

Still, if there is one thing that is fortunate. Could it be that Goddess Luck didn’t completely abandon me?

You gave me a chance to atone for Adele. I heard that Adele is struggling with an unknown chronic disease.

This could solve the problem.

Wait a minute, Adele.

***

“······Rumors are true.”

Rumor has it that her childhood friend, who turned into an idiot, tried to rehabilitate herself.

The rumors were indeed true.

“But… I…”

It’s just that she and others didn’t believe in her effort.

A childhood friend of hers who somehow tries to go back to the past. With the excuse that you’ve already been hurt once.

She didn’t believe it.

“·······Lian.”

I felt like I wanted to cry right now.

Do you think of her childhood friend who must have suffered from being hurt by people who didn’t recognize her? I felt like tears would flow.

Even so, the reason she couldn’t shed tears was because of what was written at the end.

The content that Lian can solve her chronic illness. With this she tells her that she can atone for her sins.

“Then… My illness was suddenly cured…”

An ominous thought struck her, and she hurried to the next page in her diary.

“····.”

Unfortunately, her next page contained exactly what she wished it hadn’t.

– Xx month xx year xx

Success.

To be honest, I wasn’t sure if it would work, so I was dubious. It worked.

My unique magic, ‘Absorption’, has perfectly absorbed the disease from Adele.

Now Adele will not have to suffer from chronic illness.

······Well, I’ll be a bit sick instead. She thought it was part of the Atonement.

Adele, whom I haven’t seen in a long time, was even more beautiful. She could be proud of the fact that I had been the best friend of such a woman in the past.

Now she is Adele, who will be heading to the academy soon. She hopes that she will be happy there.

Forget about extras like me.

***

Her foreboding soon turned out to be true.

Her It was thanks to her childhood friend Lian that her chronic disease that had been bothering her was cured. She was happily living in her academy without even knowing it.

Not knowing that Rihanna is slowly dying from her chronic illness.

“······It’s because of me.”

It was because of her.

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“Because of me…Lian.”

It was because of her that he died.

She couldn’t even stand by her side when she was having a hard time. It made me take this ugly childhood friend’s chronic disease.

It was her fault.

Jureureuk-

The tears I had been holding back for so long flowed down.

I’m so sorry. I’m sorry I didn’t know anything.

How she had a hard time being compared to her, and how hard she tried to rehabilitate herself.

The one that absorbed her illness. Because I really don’t know anything.

I’m so sorry about that. I feel so guilty.

She cried.

She cried like that. After checking the last page of the diary.

She cried even louder.

– Day xx, month xx, year xx.

This will be the last time I write this diary. The time I have left is because I have to live while atoneing for the mistakes I’ve made so far.

I don’t think I will live long. Because Adele’s illness is worse than I thought. I feel like she did a good job of absorbing it as well.

I’ll hide it with magic, but in case someone reads this diary.

I hope only you will read and burn it. I just want you to think that you have read an extra’s autobiography full of regrets and hand it over.

It’s not good for other people to read this diary.

I hope other people won’t regret or shed tears after reading this diary.

If you ask why I didn’t get rid of this diary myself.

······I don’t know either. Maybe I wanted someone to remember that there were extras like this.

I hope that the future of those who read this diary will be filled with only happiness.

– Ryan Kindred.

In that room where a boy died alone. The lonely cry of a girl who misses the boy echoed.

For quite a long time.

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