I Became an Extra Who Died Instead of the Main Character

9 – Self-deprecation

The office of Count Kindred.

I stood still in that chilly room where the cold stillness flowed.

‘Do you know what you did?’

Listening to the words of the Count stabbing my heart like an awl.

‘Father…’

‘Don’t call me father with that useless mouth, I won’t consider you a son from today.’

It hurt.

I think I’ve heard it somewhere, but I think I’ve heard it somewhere.

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Nevertheless, my father’s words of denying that I was his child hurt me so much.

And the perspective has changed.

The Countess’s room is surrounded by warm, light-colored wallpaper.

I always thought it was warm, but now only cold air was flowing.

‘······Have you been to your father?’

It was always warm like the atmosphere in the room, but now with the mother’s voice like frost in the middle of winter.

‘Mother… You.’

‘This mother has nothing to say. Get out.’

Without time to appeal to my mother who was ignoring me, the point of view changed again.

It’s been so long since I’ve been in my original room that I don’t even remember what it looked like.

I was packing my things as the Count told me to move my room.

‘Looks good, now you’re going to the right place for you.”

And Rianna’s words that laughed at me and dug into me.

‘Anna…’

‘Don’t call me by that name! A dirty person like you is not my brother.’

My sister used to be my younger sister, but now thinking of her as my younger sister has become a sin itself.

I didn’t even notice that the point of view changed again, as I was on the verge of losing my mind due to successive selling and turning away from people I trusted.

The changed place is a room located in the farthest corner of the familiar Count’s residence.

In a lonely room with no one but me, I felt my death slowly approaching.

And then he died.

Alone, lonely. Waiting for a reply to a letter sent but not returned.

It was an unimportant death of an unimportant extra 1.

***

“······Heuk, Huh.”

Jureureuk-

Cold sweat ran down my body.

“······Is it a dream?”

It was a dream, but it was so vivid.

Is it because I have already experienced dying once? It was a dream, but the feeling of dying at the time came so vividly.

Fortunately, this time it wasn’t reality, it was just a nightmare…?

Is it right to dismiss it as a nightmare?

These are the things I actually went through.

I just went through the things I went through again in my dreams.

Just because it’s already happened once doesn’t mean that all the things I’ve been through have never happened.

My father’s coldness like an ice field, my mother’s refusal to even have time to appeal, and the eyes of my younger sister and servants who looked at me as less than human.

The letter that will never come back, the fear of death slowly gripping my throat.

All these things are so vivid, as if they had just happened.

The only thing different from what I experienced was that Stella was by my side when I died at the end.

If even that Stella hadn’t believed me, I would have died lonely like an idiot, waiting for the reply to the letter that would never come back like a dream, for Adele who couldn’t pick up the letter and pick it up.

Crying out that I miss you just once, just once.

I was wrong, but I was the problem. I want to see you just once

I must have died wishing for a wish that would never come true.

I see. It was like this. It was so hard.

Is this just a ‘dream’?

‘······Let’s stop thinking.’

The dagger-like words of loved ones I heard in my dreams were still lingering in my head, but I tried hard to shake them off.

I think it’s natural to be treated like that.

Thinking that I was treated that way because I did something that deserved it.

I think it doesn’t matter as long as I can make those people happy.

I endured by belittling myself, lowering myself, and undercutting my ego.

Because if I didn’t, I felt like I would be eaten in the past.

Because I felt like I was going to be engulfed in the past that I didn’t want to recall.

For the sake of achieving my dream of living a normal life, or for the sake of others who will be happy.

I couldn’t stop being eaten by the past, so I had to overcome it.

“This is…”

It’s an unfamiliar scenery… But it’s the scenery of the academy’s health room no matter who sees it.

Once I realized that the place where I had just been lying down was the health room, I also realized why I was lying here.

“Yes, I passed out.”

And while vomiting blood.

It was only natural that it would happen in the health room.

“Before passing out… I think I used a 4th circle magic.”

As soon as he absorbed Magnus’ mana, he couldn’t stand the hot mana energy overflowing from his body, so he released it as it was.

And that release was magic of a much higher level than the magic I had ever used.

The Inferno I used is a 4 circle magic.

For me, who has lived as a 2nd-circle magician all my life, including my previous life, 4th-circle magic was quite far away.

Nevertheless, I used it. Circle 4 Inferno.

‘How?’

The question was thrown, but the commentary did not exist.

There was no one to help with this problem.

It was a problem that only I thought about and that only I had to solve.

There was no one by my side, and no friends to solve problems with.

No matter what happens to me, I have no one to worry about.

I was able to solve the problem by myself and grade the problem by myself, but I couldn’t confirm whether the result of the scoring was correct.

Still, I couldn’t just lie still, so I thought hard about it, and after thinking about it, the first thing that came to my mind was this.

” Does ‘Absorption’ increase the level of the circle and allow me to use magic power?”

My unique magical power helps me to use magic that is higher than the level of my circle.

It could have been that my magic got stronger because I brought Magnus’ magic, and my own magic created synergy with Magnus’ magic.

“But that doesn’t make any sense…”

However, there were parts that got stuck.

No matter how unique magic is, it makes sense to say that it allows you to use magic that is higher than your own circle.

Inherent magic definitely allows you to use more unique and unique magic than other magic, but it wasn’t unconditionally stronger or better than general magic.

That’s why I would rather believe that my circle has grown than to believe that my magic has become stronger with my own magical power.

Of course, we couldn’t rule it out. Because I might have used the 4th circle magic because my circle was strengthened.

‘Although the possibility is too small.’

That doesn’t mean I really thought I had grown up.

It wasn’t that I didn’t have any talent at all, but I wasn’t a genius, but I was just such an extra.

Because I was the extra who thought I was a genius and got in the way of the main character when I met a big wall that I couldn’t overcome.

Will I, as an extra, reach a level that even the main character, Adele, could not reach at this age?

“Then, as expected, I just happened to use it as a unique magic power.”

The conclusion seemed to narrow like this.

To be honest, it’s impossible to draw a perfect conclusion, because even when I used the 4th circle magic, my head was spinning due to the magic flowing through my body, so I can’t even remember how I used the magic.

I can’t even remember when I used magic, so how can I dig up all these details?

-Smart

Just as I was deep in my thoughts, I heard a knock outside.

“······Are you a health teacher?”

Come to think of it, what do you think a health teacher would feel like, a freshman brought to the health room from the first day of admission?

If I were a health teacher, I think I’d already be lamenting that this year wouldn’t be easy.

“Come in.”

Beep-

Of course, I thought the health teacher from the academy would come in, but the person who entered the hospital room was a very unexpected person and someone I knew well.

“······Stella?”

“Hello, Young master.”

“How did you get here…”

Unable to understand why, she tried to ask Stella, but when she looked into Stella’s deep purple eyes, she suddenly felt drowsy.

“You… Uh… Uh….”

Pulsuk-

I collapsed on the bed like that and fell asleep.

“Have a good rest, boy.”

Is Stella’s voice that I heard before falling asleep an illusion?

***

“You… Uh… Uh….”

Pulsuk-

Young master, who was about to ask me something, couldn’t overcome his drowsiness and fell asleep.

“I’m sure you have a lot of questions, but for now, it’s time to get some rest.”

When I saw the young boy soundly asleep, I laughed a little because he was cute, but when I thought about the reason he fell down, my expression hardened again.

“Adele Listonia…”

A woman who is the reason why the young master collapsed and can be seen as the cause of all these incidents.

Stella hated Adele.

She didn’t like the boy who couldn’t hate Adele even though she kept assuming that she wouldn’t be able to, but she didn’t like Adele, the root cause more than that.

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She didn’t like the attitude of not even trying to find out the boy’s sincerity, and she didn’t want to regret realizing the boy’s heart too late.

I really didn’t like her, but I couldn’t help but send her back to the past.

“I don’t like it… But you’re the only one who can fix the broken little boy… I can’t help it.”

So you should do well this time. If you mess up again, I won’t let you go.

Perhaps I muttered too loudly, a high-pitched voice came from outside.

“Who’s there?”

“Oh, I must have said too much. See you later, young master.”

Hearing someone’s muttering, the health teacher opened the door to the hospital room, but only Lian, whose hair was slightly tousled, was sleeping soundly in the room, as if someone had touched it.