6 – … True Self

It’s strange. Strange. I’ve had this feeling vaguely since the moment I first saw you.

It’s probably because of the gap between a celebrity and a childhood friend.

A living legend in the idol world. A rising star in the actor world. A box office guarantee in the entertainment industry.

Han Chae-won, a ‘celebrity’ who doesn’t feel awkward even when all kinds of modifiers are applied to her.

A playful tomboy. Situational drama addict. A terminally ill patient with princess disease who knows she is good.

Han Chae-won, a ‘childhood friend’ who I want to get along with without changing in the future.

A familiar yet mysterious person. So even though I knew right away that it was you smiling at the camera from afar, I still felt strange and unfamiliar.

Even so, if you exchange a few words, you won’t even remember these trivial feelings.

“Maybe it’s because we met after 3 years, but something is different. “I feel like I’m seeing a real celebrity.”

“Are you in love with me?”

“Do you mean to ask me to go to the other side like this?”

“Sorry. “I won’t say anything weird, so just watch.”

As expected, my childhood friend Han Chae-won is still bigger inside me.

+++

“Why are you looking at me like that?”

“Just. “Because it’s unfamiliar.”

“Is this my outstanding beauty that I haven’t seen in a long time?”

“I’m sick of that drip, buddy.”

“Shoori~.”

A restaurant I came into for a late lunch.

You smile and set up the camera. Suddenly, I was curious about how it would appear on the camera, so I stuck my face into the angle.

“Are you filming this?”

“What are you talking about? “Of course I’m taking pictures.”

“Just. “I didn’t feel like they were taking pictures of me eating.”

“You’ve always been like that. It’s his own business, but he’s so casual about it as if it’s a third party’s business. “I always find things like that fascinating.”

“Is that so?”

“Look. It’s still like that. “So you weren’t nervous during the CSAT?”

“Why are you nervous? “I’ve been taking exams my whole life. Is there any difference with the CSAT?”

“That’s it. What am I talking about with you? Sorry, Forever? “Even if this vlog isn’t fun, you’ll watch it until the end, right~?”

You raise one of your eyebrows and make a sly expression.

With that expression on his face, do you have a specialized academy? I’m really getting bullied.

I wanted to say something to the displeased look on his face, but I can’t turn Forever, who is looking at 100 million people, into an enemy……

“Nike, Adidas, Puma, Apple, Samsung… ….”

“Hey, isn’t that crazy?!”

Decently cast ‘Recite various brands’.

The effect was amazing!

… Anyway. After exchanging childish arguments that made me wonder if they could actually be used on TV, the food I had been waiting for came out.

Soba, vegetable tempura, grilled duck sirloin, and tofu dishes given by the owner as a fan are served on the table.

Chaewon answers kindly to the boss and employees who speak in Korean, which is difficult but shows effort, while Chaewon consciously eats less food.

After finishing the conversation, you checked and smiled, putting on an apron.

“What? Are you taking care of your manners just because you’re in front of the camera?”

“You’re buying it for me, so I have to do at least this much.”

“Ahem. “Then shall we check Min’s sense?”

You look at me intently and smile brightly.

When you’re in a good mood, you still stare at the other person. I smile along with you and hand you the bowl with soba in it.

“Still can’t eat shrimp?”

“What? “Do you know that I can’t eat shrimp?”

A surprised expression, asking how I knew. I glanced at that expression and continued cutting the fries I was cutting.

“How can you forget that? “You sang that song while thinking about going to Gimpo and eating grilled prawns, but you ended up thinking after eating two.”

“Gimpo?”

“When I was in elementary school. Now, eat. “The sauce is refreshing and you will like it.”

“Wow, this is so delicious! Oh my god. Min-ah, you should try this too!”

You are vigorously waving your hand holding chopsticks in the air. This is the reaction I have every time I eat delicious food.

“This is a good restaurant.”

Even though we haven’t seen each other for a long time, you still look the same and it’s been a long time since I forgot that there was a camera.

+++

“I’m glad the weather is nice. Are you watching Forever well?”

A temple in Kamakura.

Although it is a fairly famous place, the ratio of Japanese locals was much higher than that of foreigners. Moreover, perhaps because it was a weekday afternoon, most of the temples were elderly people who appeared to be local residents.

A place where no one recognizes Chaewon. Here I cast ‘Chaewon is not world class’……

“I rather like it.”

The #1 celebrity with a steely mentality you want to be like. The dignity of the person who held the title of rising queen of positivity comparable to Noh Hong-chul was very different.

From noble mtl dot com

“I am Han Chae-won~. Wow~.”

Sorry. It’s embarrassing, so please don’t do that.

You run zigzag down a deserted street with your arms outstretched.

You were like that even in elementary school, and seeing you still like that even after turning 23 made me laugh out loud.

“Maybe it’s good?”

Even after 15 years, he is still the same person. I wouldn’t be in the same position as someone else, but seeing you not changing even the slightest habit made me feel at ease.

“…… “It will always be the same in the future, you and I.”

Take out your cell phone and film in video mode.

In those spring, summer, fall, and winter days, we were still the same, the same, and consistent.

I am capturing this moment with you from afar, promising a memorable future.

“Minah, come here. “There’s a squirrel here!”

You squat to one side and look for me in a hurry.

I put my cell phone away when I heard your voice gesturing urgently with your big eyes wide open.

“There could be squirrels, why all the fuss? … “So you’re cute?”

As always, I am led by your hand.

+++

The sun set in an instant.

Nearby beach. The sound of sand being stepped on. The sound of waves. The sound of people around me talking……

I walk endlessly on the white sand beach where all of these things spread out in harmony.

“Did we look like a couple to them?”

You say something out of the blue while looking at a child who gives you a bright hand greeting.

“You don’t say things like that about feeling bloated before eating.”

“Okay. “I’ve been wondering why kids are so cute and pretty these days?”

“You’ve liked children since long ago.”

“It means it’s gotten better. “I want to get married later and have a daughter who looks like me.”

You smile brightly, perhaps because you are imagining something pleasant.

For some reason, it was surprising that you, who are so free-spirited and easily bored with anything, came out of your mouth and promised marriage to one person for the rest of your life.

‘Han Chae-won is getting married…’ ….’

I have a poor imagination in this area, and the image of you like that didn’t really resonate with me, so I quickly gave up thinking about it……

“It must be very difficult for my husband. Han Chae-won and Han Chae-won Junior…. Oh.”

Wow. Even though I don’t know who that person is, I want to carefully ask, ‘Do you still love him?’

“Are you saying something really lame about the camera being turned off?”

“There’s a bench over there. Let’s take a break. “Wow, it’s already been this hard, what can I do later?”

He continues to run to the bench without knowing anything.

Afterwards, you sat on the bench with a grumpy expression on your face, and we captured this time in our memories in our own way, slapping bruises and exchanging meaningless noises.

“Does it look delicious?”

Then suddenly, I saw your face staring at my drink.

Anyway, that guy’s one-bite mentality is still the same.

“… What, did you learn mind reading in the military?”

“Why don’t you wipe the spit first and then talk. “How could you not notice when you’re looking at me so intently?”

“No matter how much I eat, I don’t drool…” ?”

You put your hand to your mouth while saying that. He chuckles at that and offers him a drink.

“Anyway, I’ll give you a bite, so drink it.”

Half-drinked milk tea. You take a quick look at the straw, take a bite, and then drink slowly and for a long time.

… For a moment?

“You said it was just one bite… ?”

Today, it feels particularly vain.

With a devastated expression, I gave him a strong look asking me to explain the situation, but……

“It was so delicious that I stopped without realizing it. Lol.”

What came back was a set of 3 very cheeky and shameless charms.

… Are you crazy?

“Kangho’s duty has fallen to the ground… ….”

I had nothing to say, so I just glared at him.

You said it was mine, but you were the one who bought the milk tea, and more than anything, no matter what I said, Ji Ji-bae would not reflect at all.

Rather, they would just play around and try to overlook it.

Maybe it’s because there are so many cases like this, but I can already vividly recall the twelve lines of conversation we would exchange.

‘I’m bored, I’m bored.’

But isn’t this boring comic talk the loyalty and affection of childhood friends, and the fun they secretly look forward to?

I’m already waiting for your comment with the line I’m about to say on the tip of my tongue.

“… ….”

It’s strange. There’s something strange about his eyes. Why can’t I see any playfulness in your eyes?

‘Did you research it?’

I am a situational comedy addict who regularly tries new repertoire. So this time I wanted to try something new, so I just kept looking at it without thinking much.

1 Second. 2 Seconds. 3 Seconds……

———It’s strange. Why aren’t you saying anything… ?

Han Chae-won, you are not this kind of girl. You’re the type of kid who plays around with situations, even if it means saying nonsense.

‘Why on earth are you doing this…? ?’

I unconsciously hold my breath as the development is different from what I promised.

4 Seconds. 5 Seconds. 6 Seconds.

You can feel the atmosphere changing every second with your whole body, but you cannot resist.

I have to get away. Even though I was repeating this to myself over and over again, I was just staring blankly into those two eyes.

“———What?”

You turn your head with a single word.

Waving eyes and unstable breathing. An expression of disbelief and even heated cheeks.

Only after taking in all that information could I barely say a word.

“Oh my. “Do you think you know what you did wrong?”

You idiot. I was completely confused because the new method didn’t work.

‘I’ve seen you for 15 years, huh?’

He quickly shows a displeased expression and continues the scolding mood.

“… Uh, uh. Sorry. “I didn’t plan on drinking it all.”

“Don’t really do that next time. Even though this has been going on for years, it still really hurts.”

He grumbles and turns his head away.

“… “It’s absolutely ridiculous.”

You were muttering something next to me, but I couldn’t see you.

I know. I’m not a fool who can’t tell if it’s a joke or not. Rather, I was aware of it the whole time.

Because it wasn’t usual. Because this was not the ‘childhood friend’ Han Chae-won I knew.

I let out a quiet sigh.

“… What the.”

Fortunately, the sunset was dazzlingly orange.

+++

When I heard you said you were going to an izakaya, I felt fortunate. These strange feelings will disappear completely with just one drink.

So I tried to drink a few drinks in moderation, but what was this?

“If only I wasn’t a real celebrity… ….”

“Wow~, the room is so big~.”

A celebrity named Han (21 years old) drank a ton of alcohol on his own before even trying to have a drink, and became disqualified as a human being.

I thought the Dangun myth of a bear becoming a human was just a legend, but seeing a human becoming a dog makes me think that it may not be such a myth.

… What the. What kind of stupid thing is this?

“Ugh….”

How can you be so carefree without knowing that things are going wrong in your friendship?

After taking my half-human, half-dog childhood friend to my dorm, I head to the convenience store alone to gather my thoughts.

Empty streets.

The silence of not being able to hear any other sounds allowed me to focus on the sounds of my heart, which I had tried to turn down the volume.

A strange feeling still remains.

It was a noise that I didn’t want to hear.

“Even if I was drunk, I should have just had a drink…….”

How did you overcome this in the past?

I mumbled and chose various foods at the convenience store……

“… What. “When did I buy this?”

After choosing, I found that the bag was full of your favorite foods, including hangover relievers.

Anyway, this guy’s habits are the problem. For over 10 years, I’ve been told to buy my own stuff every time I go somewhere, so I probably bought it subconsciously without even realizing it.

I gave it to him and went to sleep, so I thought and knocked on the door.

“Now, wait a minute?!”

Fully———.

In the blink of an eye, my body was lying flat on the bed.

‘Ha, you already noticed this, so what are you doing? Kang Yu-min.’

This is dangerous.

“Are you crazy?!”

“I’m crazy… ? I’m not crazy… ?”

A loud noise made for no reason. You are unstoppable.

It was wrong. You don’t understand at all.

I somehow resist situations that keep going in an unwanted direction.

“It’s a handsome face rather than cute…” ….”

“… What?”

“Huh? Suddenly, my face looked like a ice cube. Yumin, did you hear that?”

But the useless resistance value only increases, and you grab hold of my foolish emotions and shake me harder.

“But it doesn’t really matter because it’s true, right~?”

You are slowly approaching me.

I am running away.

“Look. It’s true that this is more handsome than cute… ?”

You are completely captured.

I am not giving up and looking for a corner to escape to.

“Hey. “We’re bored. Should we kiss?”

This is a street you can never call your childhood friend.

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