I’m Really a Superstar

In just one opening and a few words, the performance of Zhang Ye and Yao Jiancai shocked everyone, making people a little unprepared. It's okay for Yao Jiancai, after all, he used to be a professional crosstalk actor.

But what about Zhang Ye?

He is truly a layman!

The art of cross talk has a very low threshold, and you can speak it if you have a mouth. However, it is very difficult to get started. It takes only a few years or more to get started. Zhang Ye has said that there is a talk show, but the basic form of a talk show is just to find a theme and chat around the idea. All kinds of jokes can be included in it, guests can be invited, and videos can be used, and there is no need to worry about continuity. and logic, as long as you piece together the jokes around the topic, but cross talk is not the case. This is why cross talk is difficult. There are only two people and two fleshy voices. You can only express all the characters, situations and plots through language. It’s not just a matter of randomly grabbing something here and there to make up a funny joke!

Um.

Hey.

Ai.

Eh.

The use of these virtual characters will take several years of practice!

The art of cross talk is something completely different from other fields!

However, what Zhang Ye showed turned out to be a serious professional cross talk actor. How could this not surprise everyone?

When did he learn it?

He really knows how to talk about cross talk? ?

Many people who had previously questioned Zhang Ye as an amateur who came to cause trouble were all choked up now. Zhang Ye slapped them in the face with actual actions!

"Old Tang? This..." Tang Dazhang's junior brother said.

Tang Dazhang's face was expressionless, "It's just the beginning. Crosstalk works are a whole, and a single beginning can't explain anything. Just look down, and you will definitely find flaws."

His junior brother said humbly: "That's true, the theme of the work hasn't been revealed yet."

…

On stage.

Zhang Ye couldn't hear their whispers.

Yao Jiancai said: "Don't talk about me anymore. After introducing me, it's time for you to introduce yourself."

Zhang Ye said calmly: "Do I need an introduction? I'm not the one you talked about in cross talk. Look at my demeanor." He patted his chest and said, "Looking at my demeanor, you should be able to tell. I... "He suddenly stretched out his hand and lifted up his pants in a very indecent manner, "I am a writer! Do you see that?"

"Hahaha!"

A female audience member laughed and slapped her leg, "Ouch!"

Yao Jiancai stared at him speechlessly, "I really don't see it. Is this the way a litterateur is? What kind of pants are you holding up? And I don't even recognize this title!"

Zhang Ye smiled and said, "Teacher Yao criticized and corrected me again. I get along with Teacher Yao. He is my teacher. I am willing to ask Teacher Yao for advice when I have something I don't understand."

Yao Jiancai said: "You praise me."

Zhang Ye: "You may not know that Teacher Yao is very fashionable. He knows a lot of high-tech things better than me, such as the now very popular microbó."

Yao Jiancai told the audience: "Yes, I used it early."

Zhang Ye: "In the early years, when WeChat came out, we didn't know whether it was useful or not, but Teacher Yao told us with practical actions that WeChat was really useful. That time, Teacher Yao finished filming ,

After taking a break with the crew, I took out my phone to check Weibo. I was very happy and put the cigarette in my mouth on the table. But when I turned around, the cigarette was gone and I didn’t know who had taken it away. "

Yao Jiancai smiled and nodded, "My friends from the crew always love to joke with me."

Zhang Ye: "Teacher Yao wasn't angry or anxious. In fact, he knew who took it. We were just teasing him, so Teacher Yao posted a Weibo post - Just because I didn't tell, doesn't mean I don't know."

Yao Jiancai was right, "Haha, I'm beating him."

Zhang Ye said immediately: "Ten minutes later, his wife sent him a text message - I'm sorry."

As soon as this burden was thrown away, everyone burst into laughter!

"Ouch!"

"Ha ha ha ha!"

"Sorry? Pfft!"

"Ouch, I laughed so hard!"

Yao Jiancai rolled his eyelids and said, "Well, my Weibo has solved so many cases! Is this what Weibo is for?"

Zhang Ye said expressionlessly: "This is the importance of microbó, and there is another thing that was very popular in the early years. What if I want to read what Teacher Yao wrote? At that time, we went to Teacher Yao's **-customer" .”

"Hey, wait a minute!" Yao Jiancai said, "That's called a blog!"

Zhang Ye said: "Yes, it's a blog. Many people are on it... click on him."

Yao Jiancai curled his lips and said, "Then tell them that I won't take action."

Amidst the laughter of the audience, Zhang Ye blinked and said, "Then what do you mean by eating?"

Yao Jiancai glared, "Is this where we eat?"

Zhang Ye: "What is that? Click you."

Yao Jiancai: "What does it mean to click on me? It means click (chicken)!"

"Oh!" Zhang Ye said in sudden realization, "This is the first time I know that ordering you together...means ordering chicken?"

This sentence made the audience startled and burst into laughter!

Yao Jiancai was frustrated, "Why do you think so crookedly? You, click rate!"

Zhang Ye: "Is it all green yet?"

Some viewers couldn't stand laughing anymore, "Hahahahaha!"

Yao Jiancai: "Hey! You don't think so!"

Zhang Ye: "That's what I mean. Anyway, Teacher Yao is more fashionable than us and has a better life than us. A few years ago, I was still in school and had not made any money yet. Teacher Yao had already endorsed the company. The product has become the image of other people’s products!”

The audience laughs again!

Yao Jiancai hurriedly corrected him: "What a big image! He is an image ambassador!"

"Oh..." Zhang Ye said in confusion: "What's the difference? We have to be reasonable, right? Big shit? Big shit? You said it's the taste or the feel..."

Yao Jiancai exclaimed: "Why are you so disgusting! You have to say that!"

Zhang Ye said helplessly: "Okay, let's just say that Teacher Yao is very good anyway. He has filmed commercials, TV series, and movies."

Yao Jiancai nodded, "This has been filmed before."

Zhang Ye clapped his fingers and said: "Teacher Yao's first movie, that movie is called... it's called... yes, it's called "Widow"!"

Yao Jiancai asked in confusion: "Widow? I play a widow?"

Zhang Ye: "No, you play the widow's husband."

Yao Jiancai: "Dead?"

Zhang Ye: "This drama is about a widow who struggles and inspires after her husband dies. It's a very positive drama!"

Yao Jiancai's eyes widened: "I'm not in there!"

Zhang Ye: "With you, how could I be a widow without you? The first shot at the beginning is of you, going to the grave." He gestured: "Going to the grave, there is a photo of you on it."

Yao Jiancai: "..."

The audience laughed without reservation!

Zhang Ye looked at the audience, "This is Teacher Yao's first scene. Well, the second scene is amazing. Teacher Yao's male lead!"

Yao Jiancai said happily: "The male lead?"

Zhang Ye said: "Yes, this play is called "Mo", and it tells the story of the protagonist pulling a mo to travel around the world!"

Yao Jiancai was dumbfounded and said: "Ramo? I'm playing a donkey! What kind of world are you traveling around in? I'm just spinning around there!"

The audience all yelled, "Ouch, hahaha!"

Zhang Ye: "Teacher Yao is really famous for his third movie, "Zhang Ergou Savagely Killed His Father"!

Yao Jiancai said in amusement, "Oh, this name is long enough."

Zhang Ye: "It takes two big movie screens to spell out the name. Zhang Ergou was a bad boy. He killed his father, chopped him into pieces and set him on fire. Later, the police investigated the case and found out that Teacher Yao's first The scene is to open the coffin lid.”

Yao Jiancai said: "Am I still dead in my acting? Are they all broken this time?"

Zhang Ye: "It's okay. Look at your feet. If someone familiar can recognize you."

The female judge covered her face and kept laughing.

One of the male judges couldn't help but smile, but quickly took it back.

Zhang Ye: "The fourth movie is a big production. There is a movie in Hong Kong called "Dumplings", a horror and suspense film, and Teacher Yao is invited to star."

Yao Jiancai said happily: "It's considered a big production."

Zhang Ye gestured while saying: "This play is about killing people and then chopping them up and making them into dumplings. Teacher Yao plays the role of 'stuffing' in it."

Yao Jiancai had an expression on his face, "Okay! Even my feet are broken this time!"

Zhang Ye gave a thumbs up and said, "Amazing."

Yao Jiancai: "What's so great about it? I'm so tired!"

Some audience members’ faces were already sore from smiling, and their cheeks were starting to hurt!

Zhang Ye: "Learn from you and pay tribute to you. You are our role model. As the old saying goes, beyond the mountains is the green mountain and beyond the brothel!"

Yao Jiancai stopped him, "No! No! You always say the wrong thing, Qingshan Tower outside the mountain!"

Zhang Ye blinked and looked at him, "Is there a brothel outside the building?"

Yao Jiancai: "Why do you keep having sex with a brothel? Why do you go there so often? It's the brothel outside the building."

Zhang Ye nodded, "Beyond the mountains and buildings, there are people hiding behind the capable people (NENG four sounds)!"

恁——This is a word from the Beijing dialect, or from parts of the north, and has the same meaning as "Nong".

Yao Jiancai interrupted: "There are capable people!"

"Hey!" Zhang Ye answered.

The cameraman in charge of shooting shook his camera and burst into laughter!

Yao Jiancai: "Who are you talking about? You are a talented person! Are you the only one who is a literary scholar? What kind of scholar are you? You study this every day?"

Zhang Ye: "I also study other things, such as the art of cross talk."

Yao Jiancai replied: "It's good to study this."

Zhang Ye: "Crosstalk is the simplest art form, and it is also the most complex. It is simple because you can speak with a mouth, but it is not easy to speak. For example, some empty words and padded words are all very particular and require a lot of attention. For research, let me give you an example: “Are you here? "Sit down, drink some water, see you later." There is always a padding at the end. If you have this, you will feel very friendly, but if you don't have this, it would be shameful. "He suddenly shouted at the top of his lungs: "Come on! sit down! Drink water! goodbye! "

Yao Jiancai shouted, "You scare people to death again!"

Zhang Ye: "For example, some lesbians like to put empty words in the front. For example, when they go out and see an acquaintance on the street and say hello, 'Hey, aunt, why are you going?', it doesn't work if you put it in the back." "

Yao Jiancai: "Can you give me a lesson?"

Zhang Ye imitated a woman and said, "Auntie, why are you going...ah yo!!!" The last sound was like a roar!

Yao Jiancai rolled his eyes: "Good guy, have you stepped on your foot?"

Zhang Ye pointed to the ground and said, "Auntie fell into the ditch."

"Hahaha!"

"Ha ha ha ha!"

The whole place was filled with laughter!

The judges, the audience, and even the staff and cameramen of the column team were so happy. There were several little girls in the audience who burst into tears!

Tang Dazhang's expression was ordinary!

The three brothers next to him also remained silent because they no longer knew what to say!

This work has exceeded everyone’s imagination! (To be continued) [This text is provided by Shuai Biyang @Wuying Chenchen of Qihang Update Team] If you like this work, you are welcome to vote for recommendations and monthly votes. Your support is my biggest motivation . )