Let’s Start an Inn on the Dungeon Island!

Ms. Wolfe, the butler, had come in a horse-drawn carriage, so we rode together back to the commercial district. During the short trip to Madame Damas’ residence, she gave me a few pointers that I needed to be aware of when meeting the countess.

“The countess is a very quiet woman; she never speaks about anything unnecessary. Her mood is not bad at the moment, so you don’t need to worry too much about what to say for now.”

Seems like a difficult person to deal with.

“Basically, you should answer honestly what you are asked, but you should refrain from saying or doing anything that would denigrate the countess.”

Certainly, that is the case.

In the past, I’ve had sales training on how to deal with clients. Even if someone as ugly as a whale asks you the question, ‘Am I pretty?’ then you can deal with it by saying, ‘I love how pretty your fingers are’. If you look closer at something, there is always at least a point of interest that you can complement on. It could be the hair, the shine of her skin, or the shape of her nails.

In the extreme case of there’s no single point that I can compliment on, then well… I’ll just cry on behalf of both of our terrible luck. [1]

“By the way, are you married, Okami-san?” Ms Wolfe asked while looking at the ring at my left hand.

It was the Invisibility Ring that I had borrowed from Miina, and I’m now wearing it on my left hand’s middle finger. There’s no particular reason why I wear that there, aside from the fact that it’s the only finger that fits the ring.

In this world, married men are supposed to wear a ring on the middle finger of their left hand.

“Actually, no… I’m not married. Do you want me to take it off?”

“…it’s fine like that.”

Mr. Wolfe seemed to be thinking about something but was relieved that I did not have to take off the ring, because if push comes to shove, I’m going to use it to disappear and run away.

Still, in the end they basically strong-armed me to play the role of a host, huh. [2] Living in a feudal society sure is hard. But then again, if I had refused them back then I’m sure we would’ve ended up fighting for our lives, and really don’t want Cecily to be involved in this.

On top of that, Cecily seemed to really hate the Imperial Guard, so I have a feeling she might do something reckless again.

Haah… this is really worrisome…

“I only need to be a drinking companion, right?”

“… …yes…that’s right.”

Wasn’t there a weird pause just now?　

I don’t know what will happen, but I have some countermeasures in mind. Let’s see what comes out of it. Also, there is still the possibility that Countess Vebbles is actually very wonderful woman. [3]

“By the way, how old is her ladyship’s age?”

“She’s 31 years old.”

Yeah, not bad. It’s still in my range preferences.

———————————————————————————————————————

When I arrived at the mansion, Madame Damas was waiting for me in the main hallway.

“Okami-san, thank you for coming all the way here.”

“That’s rich coming from you. Weren’t you the one who said things that I’ve never said to the butler?”

The madam shook her head in surprise. “I assure you; I didn’t say anything. I only relayed them how you were unable to join us.”

Hold on. So it’s a false accusation made up by the slant-eyed butler? So she slandered me in order to have an excuse to bring me here.

“Can you explain what’s the meaning of all of this?” I glared at the butler.

“Don’t worry your pretty little head about it. I’ll be checking for any hidden weapon or dangerous item now, before you present yourself in front of the countess.”  Ignoring my words, the butler began to frisk me.

This woman… I really want to pin her arm behind her back and spank her butt!! And then I want to hear her wailing, saying ‘Hiiieee…. I’m sorryyy…’

I finally managed to calm my anger by fantasizing her being punished, while the body check continued.

As expected, I didn’t have to take off my clothes, though I think she’s being a little too careful. She searched the area around my inner thighs three times, as if confirming that my little Joe is not really a weapon. Normally I would feel aroused by having my personal part being handled, even if a bit roughly, but for tonight my mood tended towards being sadistic instead.

I look down and gave her a cold stare, declaring that I don’t feel anything from how she touched me down there.

(Actually, my Little Joe was half-standing though…)

Anyway, it’s good that they didn’t take the invisible ring away from me; they didn’t even notice the ball of light that I kept in my pocket. It seems like they only expect a regular knife or something. I could say their security was lacking, but maybe they just let down their guards because men usually can’t use magic.

After the inspection was over, it was finally time to meet Countess Vebbles herself. I was taken to the interior of the mansion, where I’ve never set foot before.

——————————————————————————————————-

As I have said several times, my strike zone is wide. I even dare say that it’s 1.4 times wider than most guys my age. And in the case of a one-night stand, I can confidently say that it would be 1.6 times wider than average.

Unfortunately, though, Countess Vebbles was one of the balls that fells outside the zone. [4]

I loved her slightly oversized breasts, and her lustrous well-groomed hair. I liked her overly large mouth, and I didn’t dislike her seemingly cold eyes. However, this person was not friendly, not at all!

I’s really hard to like someone who never smile at all, you know.

Even if someone has difficulty regarding their appearance or style, the moment they let out a smile it would reveal their charming points, or at least that’s how is it for me. In contrast, Countess Vebbles, even though she was beautiful, is austere and completely devoid of kindness.

“You, drink this. It’s not the kind of drink you commoner would be able to buy.”

Even the way she said it really rubbed me the wrong way.

And so I used [Repair] on the liquor to check it, and the result was appalling.

＃＃＃＃

Repair target: Wine (with sleeping pills)

MP consumption: —

Repair time: —

Unable to repair the target

＃＃＃＃

This woman, it seems like she was having the same idea that I had. I had also secretly brought a sleeping pill that I’ve made with [Medicine Production] and intended to put it in her drink when she looks away and escape, but it seems like she had beaten me to it.

Seriously, is she for real? How is it even enjoyable to do it with unresponsive partner anyway?

Though, the act of removing a piece of a cloth of your partner… while your heart is beating hard thinking whether if she’s going to wake up or not… might be fun in its own ways… [5]

No, what am I talking about. There’s no way such thing is permissible!

“What’s wrong? No need to hold back. Drink.”

“Yes…”

I pretended to take a tiny sip.

“It’s delicious. Unfortunately, I’m weak to alcohol, so even a little bit of it would made me quite tipsy, I’m afraid.”

At my words, the countess smiled for the first time in the night. I’m a bit uncertain but it looks a bit predatory.

“Don’t be shy and drink as much as you like. By the way, you have a very beautiful skin…”

“Oh my, flattery will get you nowhere, milady.”

And I really mean it. No use in flattering me since I already know about the sleeping pill!

“No, it’s true… Even back in Lulu Sanjion, it would be hard to find any man with skin as beautiful as yours.” The countess was staring at me with passionate eyes.

“For me to receive such praise…”

“……”

During the lull in the conversation, it feels as if the countess’ desire itself has permeated the room.

“Milady, too, please have some of the drink. I’d feel bad otherwise.”

I took an empty glass and pour some wine while discreetly slipped my own sleeping pill into it while pretending to serve her the wine.

But when I bent forward with my arms outstretched, I seemed to position myself too close to the countess; it seems to be all it took to blow her reasoning away as she suddenly pushed me down. [6]

Even though I should be able to smartly handle the situation, it seems like I’ve made a terrible blunder. I was supposed to be able to outwit her like a spy of opposite sex setting up a honey trap, but here I am on the sofa, with Countess Vebbles pinning me down.

“Hey, wait… stop it…”

My resistance seems to have triggered some kind of her fetish, since the countess has become even more excited. She is holding my hands above my head and trying to unbutton my shirt with her other hand.

Maybe because she’s an aristocrat that she doesn’t just outright rip my clothes off?

Anyway, I can’t hope to use the Invisibility Ring like this, unless I can somehow splash her face with the spiked wine first. I can’t even reach the Ball of Light in my pocket.

“I got it, I got it. Please release me first, and then you can do whatever you want.” I pretend to stop resisting, and the moment she let go of my hand I’ll throw the ball of light to her face; I steeled myself waiting for such moment.

However, the countess never releases my hands from her grip; it seems like all of the blood has rushed towards her head. Moreover, she seemed to be doing it clumsily and was taking a lot of time to undo my buttons.  It must be difficult for her to unbutton my shirt with only her right hand.

Suddenly, a nostalgic memory came back to my mind…

It was an autumn day during my second year of junior high school. Me and the boys had gathered at our classmate Murata’s house and were playing a multiplayer game.

Eventually we got tired of playing the game, and I can’t remember how it all started, but we then decided to practice our skill in unhooking bras. Murata got us a training object by secretly took her older sister’s bra.

At first, Murata tried to bring his mother’s bra, but Tanaka and Saito objected so he used his sister’s bra instead, if I remember correctly.

I didn’t mind using his mother’s bra for training though, but Tanaka and Saito were absolutely having none of it. I guess it’s just proof that my strike zone had always been wide.

Her sister’s bra was a large one, with many patterns of small flowers which I don’t know the name of printed on it. As I recall, her sister’s name was Sayuri, and she was a mother of two children at the time.

None of us had girlfriends at that time, but we trained desperately for that day when we were going to step into adulthood, so each of us took turns wearing the bra over our T-shirts and we practiced on each other.

We also practiced trying to remove it with just one hand, since we thought it’d be cool if we could quickly take off the shirt and the bra in one go. Murata’s sister never did find out about this, but all of us gave her a present for the White Day. [7]

I’m really sorry about it and have regretted it now. You could say it was our youthful indiscretion.

…

I was reminiscing such black pages on the history of my life for some time, but even after I came back to the situation at hand, the countess was still having a hard time with my fourth button.

This… this woman really isn’t the sharpest tool in the shed, isn’t she?

Hey, you’re supposed to be the countess, right? To think that you’d take this long just for struggling with the button on my shirt, you lack training. What a completely inexperienced person!

My back is hurting already because of how long she has been straddling me.

…

Well then, I guess it’s time to take this seriously and do something about it, otherwise my chasteness will be in jeopardy.

====================================================================

1 His luck is terrible since he met a horrendous woman, while her luck is terrible because she’s horrendous.

2 Not sure how is it in other countries, but in Japan a host job is to accompany the female patron drinking and oftentimes flirt with them. (Based on the manga I’ve read anyway)

3 At this point I think Shirou’s optimism is bordering escaping reality. ((MoWNPC: Victims of assault often mentally retreat as a way to escape what’s being done to them. Poor kid.))

4 Too bad that she’s actually outside his strike zone. ((MoWNPC: LOL, such a burn. He just said he didn’t know who was less fortunate; her for being ugly, or him for having to look at her.)) Well she’s not actually ugly per se, but I understand how a permanent scowl can be a deal breaker.

5 Obviously it’s within the framework of a consensual relationship. Men who put sleeping pills into unsuspecting woman must be taught a hard lesson. ((MoWNPC: As they say, consent is always sexy))

6 Ay yo, @#% ? ((MoWNPC: I knew this was coming. Not the first time we’ve seen that those with station and authority in “The Great Empire” aren’t above throwing their weight around.))

7 In Japan, a White Day is a month after Valentine’s Day; the day when a man gives women chocolate. Usually if you receive a chocolate on Valentine’s Day, you’re obliged to give the person a chocolate back on White Day.