Long Past Dawn

Batman looks over at me, "Dawn, we all agree that we think it would be best if you got out of the city."

What? My stomach drops. Leave the city? What do you mean?

Batman must see the look on my face, "There are a few options of where to go...There's an internship at Wayne Enterprise for one."

He casts a look over at Wonderwoman who clears her throat before speaking, "I can also bring you to Themyscira for training. I have spoken with my mother and she would have you there if that is your decision."

What I want? What I want is to not be thrown out of the city I was born and raised in. What I want is to wake up from this nightmare. "Why?"

The word sounds hollow and broken, like it shouldn't be said in my voice. "We all agree that due to recent events it might be best for you to be out of the city for a bit," Batman replies, his voice is firm, no room for argument, like the robber, like red-eye. I panic for a second as memories I want to keep buried resurface, I feel like a cup full to the brim of water but yet more water is still poured in.

"How long is a bit?" I try to ignore the obvious tremble in my voice. I can't breakdown here. I won't.

"We think a few months at most." The word months ring in the air, making it harder to breathe.

A few months? I stand up, my hands placed firmly on the table, I look at all the faces around the table. I see worry for me in them and for a moment I think about being civil but I remember his words 'we all agree'. Do we? Do we really? Because no one asked me. No one f.u.c.k.i.n.g asked me. "Next time ask me before you make decisions on my life."

I storm out of the room but just as I'm about to turn the corner to my room I hear Black Canary call back to me, "Dawn... "

"Pick whatever you want. After all, it's for my best." I don't even look back, I just storm into my room.

I don't know what to do. People always say I'm a calm person by nature, but when they do I know they don't know me. They say I'm calm in the face of anger but I know I hold it in.

I try to calm myself down but I can't. Too much has happened, my calm and patience has been stretched too thin. I scream, it's not a scream of fear, it's a scream of defiance and anger. And dear god, do I hope they can hear me.

I lay down on the bed and my shoulders start to shake, I don't want to cry, I've cried too much. But yet the tears still come rolling down, and the pain comes back.

I feel my eyes grow heavy, it's late afternoon by now but I still don't want to sleep. If possible I would love to never fall asleep again.

***

I suck in a heavy breath, I'm covered in a cold sweat and my room is dark. I can't remember what my dream was about but I didn't like it.

The memories from earlier rush back to me in a storm I want to forget. I clench my jaw in a failed attempt to calm my anger.

An idea any other day I might throw away as crazy comes to mind, and in my desperation, I think of taking it up. I could run away. I could pack my things and leave right now. I slip out of my bed and walk over then cold cement flooring to where my clothes are.

I grab my duffle bag from where I left it and start to haphazardly stuff items into my bag. I'm so engrossed in throwing everything I have into the bag that I don't even notice the dark pair of eyes glued onto my back.

"Are you leaving?" I spin around at the sound of the familiar voice, I expect it to be Wonderwoman, Black Canary or one of the others but it's not. It's Jikan.

My heart thuds in my c.h.e.s.t and I try to tell myself it's a dream but I know it's not, the cold cement and the worn canvas of my duffle tell me otherwise. Part of me says it's all another illusion and she's not real but I know that's also not true, once a lie is exposed it won't work a second time.

"You're dead." And buried eighty miles out of the city, but I don't add that part. Her dirt-covered and scratched feet tell me that already.

"You're leaving." She comments back to me, her eyes looking right at my duffle bag.

"You shouldn't be here," I say way to calmly, I know I should be freaking out but I will never be able to be afraid of Jikan.

Jikan laughs as if I said a joke but it's hollow and I realize everything she's said is devoid of her usual emotions, "I shouldn't be a lot of things." She muses aloud, as if making up the list in her head as she says the words.

I hear my duffle bag thud to the floor but it almost sounds a world away. My arms lie limp at my sides as I stare at the girl I killed, a girl that trusted me.

"How?" As the words leave my mouth what she told me in the dream comes back to me, 'before all of this is over I promise we'll meet again'. "B-but that was a dream..."

Jikan gives a sardonic smile that looks so out of place on her face it hurts. "You shouldn't assume everything is just a dream."