14. Women are guts

 

 

Calm down and think, me.

 

I pushed my head drained of blood into full operation.

 

I don’t know what business he has with me, but it was likely that man wanted to draw me out.

And, there was a possibility that to do that, he was beating Kawata-san and the others black and blue.

 

All I’ve done was make food, I’ve never done anything bad.

And, all Kawata-san and crew have done was eat my food, they’ve never done anything bad.

 

In other words…… We haven’t done anything wrong.

 

No, I get it!

It’s not that simple!

That man is probably not half-assed with his involvement with the underground society, and it’s likely he can easily disregard the rationale of bad and not bad.

Kawata-san and the others don’t seem to hate me, but in the end, they’re yakuza. As long as they live in that hierarchical system, they can never refuse orders from high up.

 

Yes, I am completely not at fault. Though I have self-confidence in that, it won’t be a means to ensure my personal security.

 

But you know, while I know I’m not at fault, there are people getting hit with me as a pretext.

And, that person reprimanded me「why the hell did you come out!」

If I ignored that, how can I still be human?

 

In the case that Kawata-san and the others are killed, I’d definitely regret it, and even without that, abandoning the significantly bleeding Kawata-san and meeting them tomorrow with a smile like nothing ever happened, I am definitely incapable of that.

 

What I was about to do might bring more troubles to Kawata-san and them.

In the end, it might just be my self-satisfaction of not wanting to become a coward.

 

But, well………… It’s fine like that.

I decided to live life the way I pleased.

That’s why rather than doing nothing here and regretting it, doing something here and failing miserably was more befitting of my lifestyle.

Well, by that logic I found work at a black company and made food for those yakuza onii-sans, so it was a pretty stupid reasoning though.

 

However, that was also life.

 

 

And so.

 

I went to the washroom and splashed my face.

Rather, water in winter is cold!!!

The face reflected in the mirror was astonishingly pallid.

After forcing a smile, I slapped my cheeks with both hands.

 

I slipped on the sneakers I dropped by the entrance just before and exited the door.

Standing in front of the neighboring door, I took a deep breath.

 

Well, they shouldn’t take my life. Probably, maybe, I want it to be so! I’m begging you, Kami-sama!!

 

――Ding dong

 

「Excuse meー, I live next door!!! It looks like you stopped by earlier, do you have any business with meー!?」

 

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