Movie Master

The lights on the scene slowly turned on again, but the host did not appear. The big screen began to play a short video. The core content was that this year's host Jon-Stewart (Jon-Stewart) complained about himself. No one is willing to accept the Oscar host. The hot potato fell on his head in the end—because many people believed that his style was only suitable for talk shows, not for hosting, and even less for Oscars.

In fact, the Oscar host is indeed a hot potato that no one wants to take over.

Last year, Chris Rock's jokes were too extreme, which not only angered many artists, but even involved racial discrimination. People generally believed that Chris didn't understand the scale, and Chris was scolded like a dog. At the beginning, he tried to refute, but he didn't expect to attract even more violent scolding, so Chris died down.

This year, the Oscars have encountered many obstacles in inviting hosts. Billy Crystal, who has hosted the Oscars eight times, bluntly said that he has hosted too many times and is unwilling to take over again; black people who have received a lot of praise in the past two times Actress Whoopi Goldberg was unwilling to bear such tremendous pressure again; Steve Martin and David Letterman also declined the invitation. After many considerations, the organizer pushed Jon Stewart, who has performed well on talk shows in recent years, to the position of host for the first time.

However, the opening video clip was a little boring. It invited previous hosts to appear on the scene, and directly rejected Oscar. The idea was good, but the execution was not satisfactory. Except for the opening scene, Billy Crystal and Chris Rock hid in the tent, dressed in After the scene of teasing "Brokeback Mountain" caused a lot of laughter, the whole video was lengthy and boring, and the jokes were repeated constantly. In the end, Jon even dreamed that he and George Clooney were sleeping in the same bed, and George told him: The award ceremony has begun. Then, when the video ended, Jon walked onto the stage amidst moderate applause.

The atmosphere at the scene was a little awkward.

Not only because the video is not funny, those so-called jokes can’t make people laugh at all; but also because of George’s appearance, it is almost equivalent to an official statement of support for George. Considering Lance’s unexpected attendance today, the tension in the air The tension made the smile lose its color, and even George's "supporters" didn't know how to react at this time, so as not to pierce the mask of Oscar and Le Rongrong.

"Thank you everyone, thank you all." Jon turned to look at everyone, "Gentlemen, ladies..." Jon looked around for half a circle, and then paused awkwardly, "Felicity..." Felicity Tee Hoffman, who played a transgender person in "Crossing America" ​​this year won a lot of praise. This is Jon's meme now, teasing Felicity as a transgender person, neither a man nor a woman , causing many people at the scene to chuckle, "Hi everyone, I'm Jon Stewart, and welcome to the 78th Academy Awards."

"Tonight, we will celebrate the Oscars, the film festival, with me, the lead star of 'Killing Schimmer 4'." Jon once again teased himself that he had nothing to do with the film, which is why he was questioned. One of the reasons, "Now there are countless viewers watching this awards ceremony with us, more than half of them are waiting for Angelina Jolie's adoption, and I am also on this waiting list."

After being hit hard by "Operation Smith", Angelina's activities began to shift from the movie screen to charity activities in the second half of last year - all since she changed a public relations team, which included her adoption. There are many children from Southeast Asia and Africa, which really saved her a lot of image points, but it has also become a stalk in Hollywood. Real industry insiders know what this is all about.

"Tonight is extremely rare for many viewers, because they can see so many top stars without donating money to charitable foundations." Jon's joke really made the audience not know how to react, laughter Sparsely, it seemed very deserted, "Of course, it is also very rare for everyone here, because you finally have the opportunity to vote for the winners." This time, the scene finally laughed out loud, and Jon seemed to get Encouragement, "Yes, yes, learn to enjoy your votes, it only comes once a year." This joke even attracted applause from a small group of people.

Next, Jon began to tease Hollywood again. The North American film market was really sluggish in 2005. Not only did the box office drop significantly, but the average quality of works during the awards season also dropped further. But Jon's jokes were so innocuous that people couldn't laugh at all. Only the audience behind laughed dryly under the guidance of the staff.

Charlize, who was sitting next to her, lowered her head and whispered into Lance's ear, "So, we flew for more than twenty hours just for this?"

Charlize's complaints were even more funny than Jon, and the corner of Lance's mouth slightly raised, "I would like to deny it, but unfortunately, I can't." This response made Charlize roll his eyes and point to the stage with his chin, " Maybe you should go on stage and challenge it, it can't be worse than this."

"Hey, Lance, Lancelot, that Knight of the Round Table who played for England..." Jon shouted, and all the audience's eyes were cast on Lance, raising their eyes, Lance saw that the camera was aimed at himself and Charlize three steps away, but he didn't panic at all when he was caught. Instead, he widened his eyes and looked at Jon on the stage, and said loudly: , "Can you see me?" Although Lance didn't have a microphone on him, the camera still captured a faint voice. Lance's astonished tone combined with a puzzled expression seemed to say, "I thought that there would be no me at the scene tonight." position", the sarcasm that hides the needle in the cotton immediately caused everyone around to burst into laughter, which was better than all the efforts of Jon after the opening.

Lance then showed a look of sudden realization, quickly adjusted his expression, looked around with a smile, and greeted other people on the scene. The obvious gap and the mask of posturing, the ironic humor was revealed in every gesture come out. In an instant, everyone in the audience welcomed with applause. This was the first full house since the start of tonight's awards ceremony.

"Lancelot-Strello!" Jon started the introduction, "'Hard Candy', six nominations tonight, of which he won four nominations, Best Director, Best Supporting Actor , Best Picture, Best Original Screenplay...Whoa, whoa! Too bad Warren Beatty isn't here tonight." The joke dampened the excitement a bit, as Warren's meme was already used last year This year, few people compare Lance with Warren, but more people are surprised that Lance has won the best director nomination for three consecutive years. Jon's joke naturally does not satisfy everyone.

But Jon did not turn back, and could only continue, "So, how is the work you are busy shooting? What is the name? 'Lawrence of Namibia'?" This stalk is even more profound. The Oscar-winning film "Lawrence of Arabia" tells the story of a British intelligence officer leading Arab guerrillas to blow up a railway and restore the Arab tribes together. Now, Jon is teasing Lance's move to shoot a movie in Africa, which is actually to save African tribes, and at the same time echoes the previous "Lancelot is British" stalk.

However, the guests at the scene couldn't laugh at all, because everyone knew why Lance went to Africa to shoot a movie. When Jon mentioned this matter, it was simply a matter of which pot was not opened.

"I heard that this work is also an Oscar favorite, and it may also be a strong contender for the best picture." This is still a stalk of "Lawrence of Arabia", but the laughter at the scene has no sincerity.

But suddenly, everyone burst into laughter, making Jon confused. He turned his head and saw the big screen. The camera was aimed at Lance. Lance was shaking his head and put his left index finger on the There was a "shh" motion on his lips, as if to tell Jon not to continue talking.

Sure enough, when Jon's eyes met Lance, Lance shook his head again, pointed at Jon, and then put his finger on his lips, as if to say: The joke is not funny anymore, this joke It's rotten, stop killing yourself.

Seeing these two simple actions of Lance, all the guests burst out laughing, especially when they saw Jon with a blank face, the comedy effect was even more outstanding, and the audience couldn't stop laughing at all.

Jon's heart was broken, but he was a seasoned veteran after all, so he forced himself to calm down and continued, "Speaking of 'Hard Candy', in order to make this movie well, Lance not only worked with the number The case has been implicated, and now he even has a date with him, Scarlett Johansson, are you okay?" This sentence is just teasing a stalk, fetish / child / fetish, Scarlett was born as a child star Yes, this year is only twenty-one years old.

However, at this time, the guests at the scene were laughing but not smiling—strictly speaking, even the "meat" couldn't laugh anymore, because the topic of sex/pedophilia is too sensitive, and it is inappropriate to bring it up on any occasion. This is also one of the important reasons why the Oscar prospect of "Hard Candy" is bleak.

Then, the audience looked at the big screen in unison. Sure enough, they saw Lance deliberately slashing his neck with his left hand, making a cutting suicide movement. Immediately afterwards, the screen went black ——The on-site director obviously understood Lance's humor. Lance is implying that Jon should "kill himself". The topic about Lance has been said for too long, and there are many mistakes.

At this moment, applause and laughter erupted together, and some people even started to wipe the tears from the corners of their eyes, really laughing hard.

Jon stood on the stage, dry-mouthed and at a loss, but he had to force a smile. He could only pretend to be calm and say, "Joke, this is just a joke, because I'm jealous." But obviously, this ending is just more Miserable — no comedian ever says "I'm being funny."