18 – Regret (3)

“Yul…don’t hang up…it’s me, Ha-yeon…”

The reaction on the other end of the phone to Ha-yeon’s pleading tone was cold.

After a brief silence, Geonyul continued in a chilly voice.

“Ha-yeon? Is it really you, Seo Ha-yeon?”

“…Yes. It’s me, Seo Ha-yeon.”

Geonyul let out a long sigh at Ha-yeon’s response.

That long sigh felt so cold to Ha-yeon.

It felt like her heart was being stung on one side.

“Gosh…why are you doing this to me? From the first day of class until today. Do you really need to further destroy the remaining affection we have?”

“That’s not it, Yul. I just… I want to try to do better with you. I know I’ve made mistakes too, but I still want to tell you why I did what I did. I didn’t expect it to turn out like this.”

“Can’t you understand it after I’ve said it once? Can’t we just pretend not to know each other and get along? I don’t want to do this while making a scene.”

Geonyul’s annoyed voice cut off Ha-yeon’s words.

Ha-yeon couldn’t stand pretending not to know with Gun-yul.

“Yu, Yul-ah. Listen. There’s a little misunderstanding between us. So, listen to that-“

[What kind of misunderstanding? You’re not saying that being tired is a misunderstanding, are you?]

“…”

[Or did your thoughts change now that you’re back? Like when we broke up?]

…Why are you speaking like that? It hurts my heart. Please stop.

Gun-yul spoke sarcastically as if to hurt himself.

His unkind tone of voice never became familiar to Ha-yeon no matter how many times she heard it.

Because Ha-yeon had always lived, comforted by Gun-yul’s warm words.

The only words he ever said to Ha-yeon were “I love you” and “You’re beautiful.”

[After we spent 16 years like that, why the misunderstanding? Seriously!!]

He was getting more and more excited.

Afraid of Gun-yul yelling, Ha-yeon involuntarily shrank her body for a moment.

This violent side of Gun-yul was also new to her.

“…No…It’s not like that…”

With a trembling voice, Ha-yeon denied Gun-yul’s words.

…The word “tired” was actually a lie.

I wanted to tell you that there’s no way you could get tired of me.

But because those were my own words, Gun-yul wouldn’t believe anything I said.

[…When we broke up and you didn’t answer my calls even once…I thought about it alone in my room. Do you really like me at all?]

“Heuk…No…That’s just a misunderstanding…”

Upon Gun-yul’s words, tears started streaming down Ha-yeon’s face uncontrollably.

That was never the case.

There was never a moment when her feelings weren’t genuine.

[You just dated me because there was an available guy next to you. It must have been nice to hold onto a guy who seemed like a pushover, someone you could use and throw away anytime. Right?]

“Please…Yul-ah…Stop…Please…”

Even if she gave up on a future with him, Ha-yeon always kept the memories in her heart.

That was all she had left for herself.

And even that was denied by Gun-yul, making it truly unbearable.

“Huk…Yul-ah…Please listen to me. Stop being angry…Please.”

The voice full of determination and anger from Gunyul came through the phone.

I couldn’t end the conversation like this, no matter what.

At least, I had to adjust my thoughts to make it clear that I didn’t like him.

[Okay. Tell me. Let’s hear what you’re babbling about.]

Maybe Gunyul had calmed down compared to earlier, as he quietly waited for Hayeon’s words.

She was unsure how to begin.

What should she say to get Gunyul to listen without getting angry at her?

After much hesitation, Hayeon finally spoke.

“…….Yul-ah. I still like you.”

[…What?]

To Gunyul, these might have been surprising words.

After treating him so coldly, now she confessed her feelings.

But this was Hayeon’s honest truth.

“I don’t know how you will take it, but I like you. From the past until now. Continuously. There were circumstances back then that couldn’t be helped.”

[…]

“If you give me time to explain, I’ll do my best to explain.”

If she didn’t gather the courage now, when would she ever gather it?

She couldn’t predict how many more chances she would have to talk with him.

Since Gunyul always avoided Hayeon.

“…So, Yul-ah…can’t we start over?”

Her heart poured out with all her might.

Whether it was a gesture of desperation or recklessness, at this moment, she expressed everything she wanted to say.

Confessions that were delivered so clearly, to the point of feeling relieved.

However, the response she received was chilling.

[Damn, really? You’re calling in the middle of the night to say something like this? That your feelings have changed so let’s get back together?]

“…”

He didn’t believe a word she said.

That was evident from his tone of voice.

[…You really disgust me, Seo Hayeon. If I knew you were like this, I wouldn’t have even started dating you.]

One after another, Ha-yeon’s heart tightened at the words that seemed to regret her relationship with herself.

Ha-yeon held her breath, feeling like the call would end just like this.

“Please… I’m begging you. Don’t hang up, just listen to me once―”

[Since there’s nothing to talk about with you, don’t call again.]

Just like that, as if nothing had happened at all.

The call ended abruptly.

It felt as if it was signaling the end of their relationship, Ha-yeon and Geon-yul.

“Sob…Sob…Sob!”

Ha-yeon could only stare blankly at the disconnected phone screen.

Endlessly, she could only cry like a child.

*

“…Sigh.”

Feeling stuffy, I struggled to sit up from the bed.

My throat hurt from yelling and getting angry just moments ago.

“I got worked up for nothing.”

I opened the window to cool down the heat rising on my face.

As the cold night air grazed past my face, the fever slightly subsided.

“I should stop answering calls from unknown numbers. From now on.”

If it had been a call from Ha-yeon’s number, I wouldn’t have even picked up, let alone talk.

But after receiving a call from an unknown number and hearing her voice, anger surged and poured out all my emotions.

Honestly, I didn’t expect Ha-yeon to go that far.

I had noticed something strange about her lately, but I never thought she would borrow someone else’s number to make a call.

Or maybe she even changed her own phone number.

I don’t know how she spent the past two years.

[Would you like to block this number?]

As a precaution, I blocked the number that had called her.

Finally, I felt a bit relieved inside.

“Annoying.”

Ha-yeon’s trembling voice still lingered in my mind.

Such a familiar voice.

They seemed quite slurred, as if they were drunk. Maybe they’ll regret calling me by tomorrow.

“…let’s start again? Are you completely insane?”

Unconsciously, I began to curse.

The things Hayeon had said were shocking — that she still liked me, that she wanted to explain things and that we should start over.

I blurted out a lot of meaningless talk, without really considering my own emotions.

After two years of no contact whatsoever, why suddenly?

I could not understand her behavior at all.

If she had wanted to cling on to me, there had been countless opportunities after we had broken up.

For that period of time, I didn’t answer the phone, just suffocated silently.

Why was it now, just as the semester began, that she was making things difficult for me like this?

“What’s the point of understanding.”

I don’t need to understand Hayeon anyway.

There is nothing more to be done with her now.

Honestly, I just answered her call to hurt her on purpose.

Normally, I am not someone who can speak this coldly.

“Well, if I’ve said this much, I’m sure you understood.”

I’d said something that mean, so there would be no chance of us meeting up ever again.

And that’s exactly what I wanted.

After two years, Hayeon was still my Achilles’ heel and every time I saw her, my emotions would shake violently.

It would have been better if I hadn’t even thought about her, so I could have ignored her altogether.

“…what misunderstanding?”

I tried to stop thinking about Hayeon’s thoughts, but those words kept swirling around in my head.

– Yura. Listen to me. There’s a misunderstanding between us.

– I don’t know how you’ll take it, but I like you. Since before till now. All along. At that time, there was nothing else to do.

Hayeon said there was some kind of misunderstanding between us.

As if we had been separated by a situation that was beyond our control.

Honestly, I thought it was just a worthless excuse she was using because she had nothing else to say.

If there had been any misunderstandings, I would have thought a little harder too.

Our breakup ended with just one word: “Tired.”

There was no room for misunderstanding there.

“…Nonsense.”

It must be an excuse to call me out or something like that.

I wish it was just a misunderstanding.

If there had been any reason for it.

…Then I wouldn’t have been hurt so much.

─ Jiing, Jiing.

Just as my mood was about to become gloomy again, my phone rang from my pocket.

Instinctively, I took out my phone.

Surely Ha-yeon didn’t change her number and call me again.

[Jia]

Upon seeing her name on the screen, I felt a slight improvement in my gloomy mood.

Jia has been playing a vital role in bringing energy to my life these days.

I cleared my throat and answered the phone in the brightest voice possible.

“Yeah, Jia?”

[Oppa~! Are you still awake? I called because I was worried you might be sleeping.]

Unconsciously, I started to smile at Jia’s cheerful voice.

It felt like all the sadness I had because of Ha-yeon had suddenly disappeared.

“Yeah. If I want to sleep, I need to stay up a little longer. Why?”

[Um… You see… Do you have any plans this weekend?]

“This weekend? No, not really.”

Even if I had plans, I was willing to cancel them if I could spend time with Jia.

Then Jia proposed to me with an even brighter voice.

[Then, would you like to go on a date with me?]

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