No One Loved Me

At that moment, Edgar walked into the drawing room.  

“Madam?”

He alternated between giving me and Ricardo perplexed looks.

“You have come.”

“Count Linton, you have a really good wife, I wish I had one.”

Edgar frowned. He nevertheless forced a smile onto his lips in light of the standing of his opponent.

“I was lucky. Cecilia, I appreciate you serving my guests.”

Although it was a gentle word, the message was intentionally for me to leave.

As I was about to leave, Ricardo intercepted me.

“Since you and your wife got together, I would appreciate it if you could sign the papers.”

I spun around and turned to face Edgar.

“I asked you, Madam, why are you looking at the Count? Count Linton, I hear you have a delicate and friendly personality, but are you treating your wife badly?”

The edges of Edgar’s lips twitched up.

“No way. Cecilia, you don’t have to go. Take a seat.”

I cast a downward glance and sat down in the back seat.

Ricardo extended his pen to me after Edgar had signed the document.

“Use this.”

The moment Edgar was ready to give me the pen, he stopped and his body stiffened.

“Lord Ricardo is a gentleman.”

While smiling, Edgar said nothing warmly.

For a while as Ricardo went back to his place, Edgar remained silent.

“What do you want?”

The words that followed after the oppressive silence was broken sounded interrogative.

“What?”

“Are you going to revolt in such a way?”

He shouted fiercely, and I didn’t understand why he was so angry.

“Not with Ricardo Bastian.”

“How in the world can you be talking about that?”

“That bastard is an illegitimate child. You would be stupid to think that just because he will succeeding the Duke of Bastian, he can somehow improve his social standing despite his background.”

I at last understood that Edgar thought I was trying to seduce Ricardo in order to get revenge on him.

“It’s not like that.”

“The historic Duke of Bastian has ended. He is giving the duchy to an illegitimate child. Even though there is only one thing left to do—fall—hope it opens a path for that family, who might even go for the throne.”

As if it had been convinced, Edgar gushed about his points with abhorrent satisfaction.

“He may be good looking, but he can’t hide his true nature. I could tell by seeing him talk down to or squeal at them.”

When Ricardo was present just now, he humbled himself and swallowed his pride; nevertheless, as soon as he left, his attitude entirely changed.

“I warn you, uphold the honor of Count Linton.”

While having an affair with the theater actress, he bragged when he said it.

“We could be a pretty happy couple if you lived as quietly as a mouse. Isn’t that what you’re after?”

As he ran his pen between his fingers, he said.

“Don’t worry, I’m not going to have an illegitimate child like Duke Bastian.”

I blinked my eyes. If you don’t want to have illegitimate children, you won’t have any.

“No way, are you thinking about having children with me?”

I didn’t care if Edgar had extramarital affairs outside. Since I don’t love him anyway.

But I had no intention of mixing my body with the body he was playing with.

Edgar gave me a sidelong glance.

“Count Linton is a family where offspring are rare and precious. I’ll go to your bedroom when the time is right, so wait patiently.”

I wanted to hit him across his beautiful face.

He was unbearably disgusted as he spoke with a smile.

I persisted though.

Since I didn’t know anything about this world and there was no assurance that I would be able to exist on my own, I needed him for the time being.

I’m not interested in Edgar’s affection. It’s clear that he doesn’t care for me, but that was understandable.

In any case, Edgar wouldn’t be able to love me as long as my soul was inside Cecilia. I’m not sure why he didn’t love Cecilia either.

However, this did not imply that I would tolerate unloving sex. I didn’t want his child or to see his body playing with other women.

“Edgar.”

I used a very sweet tone of voice.

“I’d rather you bring an illegitimate child.”

I didn’t flinch as I watched Edgar’s surprised countenance.

“I won’t raise them as an illegitimate child. All I have to do is be their mother. I will keep a secret. Of course, if I were a biological mother concerned about my child’s future, they would look after me as well.”

I spit it out since I didn’t intend to stay in this marriage for very long.

Saying what the cheating man wanted to hear wasn’t difficult.

“Are you crazy?”

“I’ve never been so rational.”

I felt a strange satisfaction as I looked at his distorted face.

“I’m not going to have children.”

I corrected Edgar’s words.

“You’re not going to have children from me.”

To be honest, I don’t want anyone else’s children, but isn’t that what he want?

Edgar was stunned, much to his surprise.

“Why?”

“You don’t love me.”

I picked the words Cecilia would say.

“Can you imagine the misery a child raised by a couple without love would feel?”

What I said was ridiculous because many nobles in this empire would have children and raise them indifferently.

“At least I don’t want my child to live like that.”

I knew it was forced, but I didn’t back down from my stance.

“It’s a shock to a child when they reach an age where they have no idea how their father behaves outside.”

Edgar snorted in disbelief.

“In the end, you put the blame on me.”

“No, it isn’t.”

I strongly refuted it.

“You asked me to live as a Madam, not as a wife. I accepted it.”

With his arms crossed, Edgar raised his chin.  He believed that he could express himself however he pleased.

“It’s our agreement. You said we could be a happy couple if I did a good job as Madam. You understand that a deal is not a one-sided sacrifice.”

“I know.”

Edgar said, carefully processing my last few words.

“Even if you don’t think of me as your husband?”

I agreed by nodding.

“I think it’s a fair contractual condition.”

Edgar sprang to his feet. He stamped his feet while trying to keep his anger inside by closing his eyes.

His scruff that protruded moved a lot.

“Cecilia.”

The voice called out to me in a soothing tone.

“The Count of Linton must have an heir. It must be a proper heir.”

“The child you bring will be the heir.”

I have no idea why the topic was coming up repeatedly.

Edgar didn’t open his eyes.

Is it because you’re worried you’ll become angry and touch me if you open your eyes and see me?

My father used to throw or break objects when he got angry when I was a kid.

My mother and I weren’t physically hurt, but that was enough to frighten us into submitting to my father’s control, even though it wasn’t physically harmful.

It makes sense that I, having gone through something similar, feared the worse in the setting of trying to hold back Edgar’s anger.

“Oh, Miss Elodie, introduce her to me when the time is right.”

I coaxed him into pursuing an actress from the theater.

“Elody?”

Edgar’s eyelids slowly slid open.

“We’re having a dinner party. I heard that she is busy because she is a popular actress. We’ll have to make up for Miss Elodie’s time.”

After giving me a long look, Edgar sighed and said yes.

Thankfully, his rage seemed to have subsided.

The name Elody also worked. I promptly asked about the problem that was piling up in the void.

“I want to hire the son of my nanny as a gardener.”

“Do whatever you want.”

“To prepare for the dinner party, I have a lot to buy, but I need an escort. May I employ a worthy knight?”

“You claimed that you would play the part of the Countess, but it appears that you already had a plan in mind.”

I called Elody’s name and showed that I was no longer obsessed with the position of his wife.

Instead, Edgar’s anger fully dissipated when I said I was willing to work with recognition as a Countess.

“If you need an escort, there’s a knight I know, so I’ll scout him.”

Edgar said this in a condescending manner, as if he were extending a hand of fellowship.

Is he trying to keep an eye on me?

At first I was suspicious of him, but I thanked him nevertheless.

“And.”

Edgar offered his final, hesitant order to turn away as he prepared to leave.

“Send Ricardo Bastian an invitation as well. Anyhow, he will be the Duke of Bastian, therefore there is nothing wrong in developing a relationship with him.”

“Yes, I will.”

Without any screaming or crying, our conversation came to an end. With that realization, I was pleased.

Edgar got things done quickly.

The following day, the knight arrived.

The nanny was not pleased with the knight in formal attire.

He greeted me courteously and with the right stance regardless of the nanny’s response.

“Lady Cecilia.”

When Lady was mentioned, Sarah’s cheeks flushed and her eyes glistened.

In this case, lady didn’t seem to be a label only for single ladies.

I sighed when I realized how much I still needed to learn.

“This is Pascal Favreau.”

“Madam will go out after lunch. Sir Pascal is likewise preparing.”

Sarah recited my schedule for me.

She told me that all I had to do was address this man as Sir Pascal.

“All right.”

“Sir Pascal may occupy the accommodations outside. Tell me if there are any problems so I can help. The Lord will handle it right away.”

“Yes.”

Sarah waited impatiently for Sir Pascal to continue.

He is a young and decent-looking man.

I don’t know exactly how old Sarah is, but considering the age at which Cecilia got married, it didn’t seem like she was too old to get married.

Pascal bowed his head in my direction before leaving. As soon as he walked out the door, Sarah immediately let out what she had been holding back.

“Oh my gosh. He is so handsome.”

My nanny pinched Sarah’s nose.

“He’s handsome. My son is much better.”

The nanny’s words reminded me of her son. He was also on the good side. Her dark skin and muscular muscles matched perfectly.

“But he is a commoner.”

“You, too, are a commoner! Do you think ‘I’m confident that everything will work well for you and the escort!’ Get up! The knights are all desperate to marry the noble lady!”

Sarah covered her ears, pretending not to hear. The nanny grumbled about the knight’s ecological habits.

There was a lot of information I could hear.

Knights make every effort to blend in with high society and give the idea that they have a noble profession, despite the fact that they have a lower standing than a real aristocrat.

The best path for them to enter high society was through marriage.

On occasion, the inferior products used less expensive means to boost their reputation.

The fact that a married woman was involved made it controversial.

They became a charming man after getting into a scandal with a well-known noblewoman.

“Even Count Linton is indifferent. What use is it, after all, to bring such a young knight?”

The nanny kept complaining.

“Anyway, they normally attach a skilled, experienced middle-aged knight because the knight guarding Madam rarely engages in direct battle. What do you think?”

The nanny complained for a while, but I thought I understood what Edgar had planned.