Once Again From Better Days

Katsuki takes a minute to process what Izuku said. A sword? As in, a sword?

"What the f.u.c.k?"

"Or a staff. Or nunchucks. Or something. I mean, I don't have a quirk, but I still want to be a hero, which means I should have an actual method of fighting. I'm not that strong physically, but if I learned how to use a weapon–"

"You want to fight villains, who have powerful quirks, with a sword?"

"Yes."

"You're going to go up against shitty villains with powerful, evil quirks with a—a piece of metal? Are you f.u.c.k.i.n.g–"

"Yeah, that's the idea."

"Deku, no." Katsuki tries to gather his thoughts. "You can't. You'll…" Katsuki finishes the sentence in his head. He doesn't want to step on Izuku's dreams, but it would be complete idiocy to let him try to fight with only a sword.

Izuku takes a deep breath, and fixes Katsuki with the kind of determined glare he has whenever someone tells him to give up. Katsuki swallows uncomfortably, he can feel the color of his face darkening by the second. He doesn't want to discourage Izuku, but he's morally obligated not to encourage this, too. With a jolt, he realizes that's exactly what he had been trying to tell Izuku, even if that wasn't what he meant to convey.

"What if you get a quirk someday?" Katsuki asks, before he can stop himself.

As expected, Izuku stares, determination replaced by a mixture of shock and confusion and something else—something that looks vaguely like betrayal, but that can't be right. It was a stupid thing to say. People don't get quirks at fourteen.

"Kacchan," Izuku says, and there's a kind of pain in his voice that Katsuki really hates. "If I want to be a hero, I have to do it with my own strength—the strength I was born with."

There's not a good response for that, so Katsuki doesn't reply. But he silently promises that Izuku will never walk into a fight alone. If Katsuki is there, he'll be able to do something no matter what happens. He has to. Katsuki ignores the small voice in his head that tells him: that's not what happened last time.

After the movie, Katsuki sits in his room with the lights off and the door closed. He's supposed to be sleeping, but, like many other nights where he can't get his mind off of things, he lies staring up at the ceiling without really seeing it. And, just like other nights, he thinks about Izuku. He still can't stand to be in close proximity to his friend without feeling like he's going to have a heart attack. And really, when he's supposed to be protecting Izuku, it would help if he were functional.

Katsuki rests his forearm over his eyes. It's clear, by now, that his feelings will not be dulling anytime soon, which means he really has to figure out a way to deal with them. But when you're fourteen years old, no one's really told you how to deal with being in love. Nevermind how to deal with being in love with your best friend who happens to be the same gender and sort of ten years younger than you thanks to some f.u.c.k.e.d up time warp. Yeah, Katsuki knew that saving Izuku would not be easy, but he didn't know it would be this difficult either.

Monday morning, Katsuki wakes to a loud banging on his door with only a couple of hours of sleep to get him through. Apparently, he slept through his alarm. When he arrives at school, he has to face Izuku's concerned look as he slides into the classroom five minutes after the start of the school day. His grades and history of punctuality are good enough that the teacher only glares at him for a moment before gesturing to his seat.

The morning classes pass, and Katsuki can't remember a word of what was taught. Izuku manages to catch him during lunch, when he was totally not going to escape to the roof and eat alone. Right, they're friends. He can't protect Izuku if he distances himself too much. They eat lunch together like they used to. How was Katsuki supposed to refuse when Izuku asked? So they sit across the table from each other in silence.

"About what you said yesterday," Izuku says, breaking the silence. "What do you mean 'if I get a quirk someday?'"

Katsuki swallows, chopsticks pausing halfway to his mouth. It was a stupid offhand comment, but he should have known Izuku would notice it.

"Hypothetically." Katsuki puts his chopsticks down. "It doesn't matter."

No way for someone who's quirkless to get a quirk, of course. No one knows One for All exists. No one needs to. Katsuki bites his lip. There's a part of him that knows that All Might's successor has to be Izuku, but he doesn't know how to make that happen. Telling Izuku now doesn't seem to be the best idea, either. Especially since he can't guarantee anything.

"Have you picked a weapon?" Katsuki tries to divert the conversation to another topic.

It takes a second for izuku to realize what he's asking.

"Yeah, I'm getting a bokken. I'll be learning iaido and kendo, but I'll also try to work on other types of physical training. Without that I'd be…" 

And so, Izuku talks, and Katsuki listens, trying not to look too starstruck.

At the end of school, Katsuki slips away. Izuku can walk home by himself. He'll stop strategically avoiding him someday, but right now, he needs to get his breath back. He walks slowly down a route he usually doesn't take to get back. He freezes in his tracks. There's a rush of something–nostalgia, no–fear? He feels like he's walked down this alley before. Katsuki feels the hairs on the back of his neck stand up. There's something wrong, but if something happened before, he would remember it, right?