One Regret Is Enough

A letter for me. Have I ever heard something more unfamiliar? Certainly, this was the first time since I came to the capital. As I tried to get up in doubt, Bell, who was standing, shook her head.

“I’ll get it! Please lay down.”

I pressed my fingers tightly against the corner of my eyes as she went out, an unfamiliar voice mixed with Bell’s flowed through the door probably explaining the origin of the letter.

‘What’s the matter?’ I had a bad feeling. If it were just a regular letter, the maid would have handed the letter as soon as she saw Bell as if throwing it at her. Because no servant wanted to stay here for long.

“Umm, Miss Cornelia.”

Bell returned after a while, looked at me, and handed me the letter. The moment I received it, I narrowed my eyes. My prediction was correct. Another tiring thing happened. It was a seal of wood and cane, clearly carved in a light purple letter, the seal of Feriel’s household.

“It’s a letter from Tevious’ household. That maid, she’s not going to go back until you give her an answer.”

“…Please, Bell.”

Impassively, I tore the envelope she handed to me and took out the letter. 

‘Even though I saw you yesterday– what’s going on?’ I would have ignored it if I could, but I didn’t have a hobby of keeping someone outside. I was concerned as well. The fancy letter was written simply in neat handwriting.

[Sorry for the sudden letter, Cornelia. But I want to see you. Can we meet today? The maid will guide you to the store. I’ll be waiting for you to come.

-Your friend Feriel.]

As soon as I read the letter, I let out a sigh. ‘Can we meet today?’ after writing it like that there was an added content that left me without a choice. Whether Feriel was aiming for it or not, the maid wouldn’t go back until she guided me. If her master was waiting in a store, she couldn’t just say ‘Aren’t you coming? Oh, I understand!’ and go back to the mansion.

And, if the maid does not return and stays here, it will eventually enter the ears of the butler and Debron. No, the butler must already know the maid’s visit.

I frowned upon the troubles that were to come.

“Bell, I’ll have breakfast later.”

Saying that I got up and looking at Bell, who was looking at me with a bewildered face, I smiled bitterly.

“I want to go see the warrior.”

 * * * 

I followed the maid and froze in front of a tea house. I didn’t know why Feriel called me here. There must also be a tea house owned by the Tevious family. Wouldn’t that be a better choice to avoid people’s eyes? I could feel the maid who opened the door looking at me with strange eyes, but I didn’t want to move. Because this was the place where I first heard of my rumors.

“Miss Cornelia. Lady Feriel is sitting over there.”

The maid said as if urging me to go in. She seemed to be talking about the innermost corner seat. In fact, someone was sitting there wearing a cloak. I gulped once, twice, and went inside. At the same time, the people and voices who were chatting in the teahouse disappeared. Instead, laughter rang in my ears.

“Pfft. Isn’t she that commoner?” Like a play, the scene when I first came to this teahouse was reenacted. Countless people sitting at the table glanced at me and turned their heads. But, with their mouths, they crushed me hard. As I took one more step into the store, everyone was angry.

“That’s right. The commoner who guided the warriors who were wandering at the entrance of the village and then clung onto Duke Astorf.”

“And she even dares to bring her own family along.”

“They said that the monthly medicine and temple donations from Duke Astorf’s residence were no joke.”

“Oh my, good gracious.”

This was the past that I recalled with every step I took. It was already over. So I didn’t have to be hurt again. However, as if mocking me, the voices only grew louder, and the feelings of that time began to come back little by little.

“She’s pretty good looking for a commoner, but… it seems a bit ridiculous that she only enticed Duke Astorf with that.”

“It’s just that the Duke is kind-hearted.”

It was a dirty rumor. It was a distorted rumor mixed with truth and lies. It was true the part about grandmother’s medicine and the donation I spent calling the priest. But that was the money I received after giving up the position I deserved. Instead of giving up my position as a hero, what was given to me was my grandmother’s treatment. So there was nothing I should be ashamed of. But people were making fun of me by twisting the facts and putting lies. And they raised their voices as if they wanted me to listen.

“There, she said she was also a hero, didn’t she?”

“Oh my God! A hero? How dare she put her name among the warriors!”

“How thick is the skin…”

[tl-n: means she’s so shameless.]

“That’s truly something. Shouldn’t she be living well if that were true?”

They laughed hard. The sound of laughter poured down my ears like a waterfall. As if strangled, my breath was choked and I gasped a little. Why did I have to hear something like that? The sadness and anger at that time erupted again. My steps got a little faster.  I blinked, and there was not much left of the table where Feriel was sitting. She was fiddling with the teacup in front of me, showing only her back.

‘I want to get out of here.’ Just thinking about it, I took one more step. 

“Trying to say she’s a hero with that commoner blood, isn’t she something?”

I recalled approaching the man who said that without knowing that the bag of bread for my grandmother had fallen.

“Hey.”

“What’s the matter? Oh! Did you call me because you wanted to be treated like a warrior? Yes, yes. I greet the warrior.”

What did I say to the man who laughed at me and greeted me exaggeratedly? I can’t remembered…

“Did you all laugh?”

“Oh…?”

And without slowing down, I glared at the man and approached him frighteningly. Perhaps under the pressure, the man staggered greatly and fell backward with the table. I looked down at the man who had fallen and bit my lip. I wanted to say something. Otherwise, I didn’t think he’d be able to stop, and I thought this rumor should be corrected.

“Haaa.” 

Suddenly, the table where Feriel was sitting was right in front of me. Just a little bit further and Ferriel will find me. After a moment’s pause, I took the last step. Whatever my feelings were, the end of that time was set.

“Why do you guys say that…”

As soon as I started speaking, people were blocking me. They were the knights of Astorf who followed me in the name of being my escort.

“Miss Cornelia. Duke Astorf does not want any disturbance.”

That was what Debron meant. I laughed bitterly, and at the same time, a cold sweat fell to the floor. One side of my chest throbbed. No matter what happened two years ago, I could still get sick thinking about it. I thought I’d gotten used to it, but apparently, I didn’t-

“Ah, Cornelia!”

Feriel spotted me while I was sweating cold, raised her hand, and called me. Her bright voice immediately drew attention. I held my breath for a moment at the pouring gaze like in the past.

‘Will that happen again?’

However, contrary to my anxiety, people began to focus on their work as if they had lost interest in the mourning clothes and the black veil that covered their faces. After confirming that people’s gazes had completely dispersed, I took a deep breath that had stopped.

‘It was the first time I think I’m lucky because my name is common.’

I sat across from Feriel in disguise. She was wearing a hood to prevent her light pink hair from coming out and even changed the color of her eyes with magic.

“Thank you for coming out when I called you, Cornelia.”

Above Feriel’s head, who smiled brightly without malice, hung a picture frame with four warriors. It looked like they hadn’t removed what they hung from the Aktail Festival yet. I sat in front of her without saying hello and went straight to business. It’s not like we’ll see each other for a long time.

“What did you need?”

“That’s…” 

Ferriel looked around and soon bowed her head. I opened my eyes wide at the sudden apology.

“Sorry!”

At the sound of her voice, the eyes were focused on the two of us again. I hurriedly raised her up in case her hair would spill under the hood and reveal who we were. Ferriel’s light purple hair was a feature of the Tevious family. On top of that, isn’t there a frame hanging over the head as if to compare?

“Get up. Everyone’s looking.”

Ferriel, who reluctantly raised her head at my urging, looked at me with a face that wanted to say something. But her lips didn’t open.

“What the hell are you sorry for? You already apologized for not being able to see my grandmother on her deathbed.”

These days, nothing good came after I meeting my old colleagues. So I was a little cold. I thought I made a mistake when I saw Ferriel closing her lips tighter, but she soon opened her mouth.

“That… too, I’m sorry. About the central temple.”

“…”

“I completely forgot. I just misunderstood that you could go in and out freely just like us.”

Ferriel seemed to have found the answer in the last words ‘commoner’ before leaving Leonif’s mansion. Tears began to fall from the big eyes that were trying hard to smile.

“I don’t know if you believe it, but I didn’t mean to separate you from Grandma Hibi on purpose. I heard Leonif’s idea and sounded pretty good, so that’s why. As you know, it’s an honor to be enshrined in the central temple.”

Feriel continued to speak while holding his hands tightly. The voice mixed with weeping was muffled, then became clear for a moment, then repeated.

“And I’m sorry I haven’t done you right. I should have cared about you no matter how busy I was…”

Having said that far, Feriel pulled out words mixed with sincerity like a sigh from her small mouth.

“I’m really sorry, Cornelia.”

The voice that said that was so clear that it could not be confused.