Re: Akimichi

Days before,

*Ino POV*

The sun rose, last night I checked this Temujin person's mind when he was asleep and found that he was hailed from a kind of peace-seeking organization with not so peaceful method. He had quite a tragic background and his line of thinking currently clouded by the doctrines of a person called Haido. At least he's not meant us any harm, he was just curious about us but decided to test the water by himself.

Though I pity him, I won't meddle with his business as long as he's not bothering mine either. Remembering it's been days since I took a proper bath, I decided to took Naruto and ended this mission early, so I went to his tent as soon as the sun took a peek on the horizon.

"Wake up, Bakaruto!"

"Ugh, Five more minutes..."

After a few tries of failed attempt to wake Naruto up, I decided to do it in a hard way. 'You leave me no choice, Naruto. If you want to blame someone, blame yourself for ignoring me.'

I took a handful of salt from the nearby jar, open his mouth, and pour the salt inside. Then...

'1... 2... and...'

"PU! PU! PU! IT'S SALTY!" Naruto suddenly jumped from his bed, but his body still ached so he still felt uncomfortable moving suddenly like that. "WATER! I NEED WATER!"

"Hurry up, you idiot! We're gonna leave soon." I chuckled as I watched his suffering, it's relieving my stress somehow. Maybe I should do it more often, I wonder~

"Why are you so hasty? I'm not even healed properly, Buta-Ino!"

"...What did you just call me?"

"..." How dare he, though he's sweating bucket right now, I feel obliged to teach him a proper way to address a lady.

I raised my left foot and...

*Pa!*

... Stomp his crotch with my heel.

"£€^`#€¶(/%∆√÷#." I saw Naruto's eyes bulged, his mouth opened with no sound came out, and he exuded an aura of despair. Serve him right!

"What~ did~ you~ say, Bakaruto~?"

"..." Tears flow out of his eyes, he tried to utter a few words but no sound came out.

"I can't hear you~"

"..." And he's passed out.

There you go, a fast tutorial about how to tell an idiot that he made a mistake. The original purpose has not been achieved, but at least now he knew that he made a mistake if he's messing with me. The details were not important, at least the result speaks for itself.

*Screech*

"Hm?" A particular bird's cry took my attention as it approached this location, I went out of the tent to take a look. And true to my thought, it approached me and landed on my outstretched arm. My attention was focused on a letter tied on its foot, it seems like an urgent mission was issued.

"Land of wind's border?"

---

Current time,

*Chouji POV*

"Alright aunty, you can come out now. Seriously, your hiding skill is horrible." I clicked my tongue in half-annoyance, my eyes locked at one spot in the seemingly empty hallway.

"..."

"C'mon I know you're there!" I took a pebble and flicked it toward her direction.

A figure emerged from the wall, I could see a smile showed on her face that made her look as if she was amused. "Hohoho, it seems that you really have a good sense. What's your name, handsome?"

I saw that she appears like she was in her early twenty with a busty body and seductive look, but I knew better, I could feel what's hidden beneath. A body that more masculine and muscular than every man in this room, so... no, thanks.

"She's talking to you." I sincerely patted Kankuro's shoulder, took a step back, and gave him a thumb up which earned me a confused look from him. "Good luck, Kankuro-san!"

"Huh?" Kankuro was caught off guard, he still hasn't caught the meaning behind my actions. "What does that even mean?"

Nice, apparently he's a foolish v.i.r.g.i.n who not even understands a woman's flirt.

"Less talk, more action." As I said that I slapped him to give him an 'encouragement'.

"I'm not talking to him, I'm talking to you." She glared at me, her face clearly showed that she was irritated.'' What's wrong, hm? Don't you think this big sister is beautiful?"

She approached us, her h.i.p.s swayed exaggeratedly and her eyes winked flirtatiously. Aunty... No, Uncle. I already saw your true appearance, and it doesn't match with your act at all! Rather, it's disturbing! Extremely so!

"You're not my cup of tea," I answered tactfully, I don't want her/him -whatever it is- to go berserk because of a slight mistake in words, yes?

"My friends here are single." Again, I promoted Gaara and Kankuro to that masculine aunty. I patted their shoulders which earned glares from both of them which I ignore. "And in need of partner too."

"No, thank you." "I'm better off alone."

Both Kankuro and surprisingly Gaara rebutted my claim swiftly. Were they know her true appearance too or they just don't like women in general?

"Are you two perhaps...?" Oh my... As that came into my mind, I took a step away from them.

A look of understanding flashed on the woman's eyes, "So that's why..." She let out a breath of relief while massaged her own temples. "I thought that I'm not attractive anymore."

"No, we're not!" Kankuro has again rebutted me.

A look of confusion appeared on Gaara's face. "What's that mean?" Kankuro briefly explained the meaning of these acts and words. And before it's done, a wave of sand launched to attack me.

"Die!" Gaara gritted his teeth as he attacks me a few more times while I just chuckled and continuously dodged. "I mean it, die!"

Unknown to us, the woman has stripped herself n.a.k.e.d without any rhyme nor reason. "Hey hey boys, see big sister here. Ain't I gorgeous?"

Kankuro was having a nosebleed, Gaara was retained his stoic face, while I tried my best to hold my puke. This escalated quickly from disturbing to disgusting.

"Look look!" She approached me slowly, making my face became even more green with disgust with every step she took. "Come and play with big sister~"

But before she was able to come close, a Shuriken was launched in front of her. "Halt your dirty act, you disgusting witch."

All of our attention was attracted by the newcomers, it seems like these newcomers were able to come unnoticed because our attention was too focused here.

"I came from the Sand camp after they said that the one responsible for this mission is here. BUT, what I see are... The sea, the fish, and THE AUDACITY OF THIS B*TCH!"

"Ino!"

It was my dear!

I quickly flickered to her side, ignoring Naruto who was having a nosebleed seeing the n.a.k.e.d figure of that woman.

"What are you doing here?" A smile couldn't help but escaped from my mouth, I held her hand and stared straight at her eyes. I saw a tint of pink hue adorned her cheeks, so cute! "Is that a new hairpin you wear? It matched well with your eyes."

"I got a mission from Hokage-sama to aid the sand village to guard the border for a few days, it's not just me, Kurenai-san along with a few more shinobis were waiting at the camp." She slicked her hair behind her ear, "Hmm, I bought this hairpin a week ago."

Seeing us flirting, the unknown woman apparently got irritated. "Hey Hey, what are you doing there?" She called us 'seductively' hiding her actual mood.

Ino's eyes turned feral with a snake-like slit on her eyes when she looked at her. "You, just shut up and wait."

Well, no one likes their man to be seduced like that...