Rebirth Plan to Save Leader

Chapter 55.2

If she was too late in finding him, would it be like in her previous life?

Zhang Man covered her mouth.

Why was New Years like this? It was the first New Years they were spending together. Why did she feel so tired?

She was trembling painfully. Suddenly, her feet were in the air, and she was picked up by him.

The youth had one hand around her back, and the other around her legs. He picked her up from the sofa, walked through the wide living room and up the stairs.

He had cleaned up a room on the second floor since he had been living there by himself these days.

The youth pushed the door open with his shoulder. He put the girl in his arms on the soft big bed, and laid beside her.

“Man Man, don’t be sad. It looks terrible, but it doesn’t feel like anything.”

He brushed away her long hair covering her face. He kissed her cheek to calm her.

When he saw her like this, the pain in his heart was stronger than the faint pain on his arms.

Zhang Man lay there as he continued to caress her. Her heart felt like it had been cut open. The cold wind penetrated through her this winter.

She clenched her teeth and said to him, “Li Wei, please remember, if you die, I can’t live.”

She tried it once, didn’t she?

In her previous life, she was caught in a mudslide less than a year after his death.

Zhang Man never tried to remember that day.

It was the last day of her three-month trip. There was an enormous rainstorm.

She was going home because she realized that the trip didn’t seem to help her at all.

She was never rescued.

Every time she visited a nice spot, she would encounter different people and things. The people who were traveling were always more relaxed than their work colleagues and friends in life. They came from all over the world, and no one knew anyone’s past. They were more likely to tell each other about the sufferings they had encountered in life.

But she didn’t.

Every day, she listened to their stories quietly and became the perfect listener among these strangers.

She listened patiently and occasionally gave some comfort. Many people she met during her travels thought that she had a simple and happy life. No one knew that she fell asleep in fear every night. As long as she closed her eyes, she would have endless nightmares. The youth standing in the dark, desperately reaching out to her.

On that day, she had booked a plane ticket home from Chengdu. Tired, she made arrangements with some travel buddies to take a bus from Dujiangyan1 to Chengdu.

When the bus passed through a remote mountain road, a terrible landslide occurred. The bus was forced to retreat sharply and hit a huge rock behind it. The whole bus was knocked to the side and hung on the edge of the cliff.

The bus did not fall instantly.

All the passengers screamed desperately. The fear of death was not an individual feeling, but a universal one.

The driver immediately opened the door to let everyone escape, and everyone crowded to the door, fearing they would fall into the abyss with the bus.

Unfortunately, the bus door was blocked by several rocks, and climbing over it would take a long time.

Her seat was very close to the door, and the people sitting next to her had already forced their way through the door. At the moment of opening the door, they desperately climbed over the big rock blocking the door and escaped.

If she had rushed out without hesitating, she might have had a chance to survive.

But when she stood up and tried to squeeze towards the door, the bus suddenly shook violently. Its center of gravity shifted even more towards the bottomless cliff after the ruckus. She looked back and saw many people behind her.

The eyes of those people were huge and clearly showed their fears. There was even a woman holding a child. She was crying and trying to pass the child forward, hoping that the people in front could save her child.

At that moment, she thought of the youth who had left her forever, and suddenly felt tired. She did not understand the point of trying so hard to squeeze through everyone.

It was like she was not as afraid of death as they were, so why should she rob them from living?

The bus shook again. She fell back to her seat. She gave up the struggle completely, and closed her eyes in a daze.

If he died in this life, what should she do?

When the youth heard her words, he was in shock for a long time before he realized that she had a misunderstanding like this.

He was sad and distressed. He looked at how the girl’s face became more and more empty. He raised her head and kissed her lips eagerly.

While kissing, he did his best to give an explanation.

“Man Man, I’m not going to… I’m not going to commit suicide. I just want to control myself from thinking about people or things that don’t exist.”

It was hard for him to say it. He knew he sounded ridiculous.

“They say that pain can stimulate a person’s nerves. I just wanted to try it when I saw them.”

These days, he could always see Nick and Janet. Their existence reminded him that he was a crazy man who had no way to control himself.

A lunatic who was very likely to hurt her.

But he was lucky. He still wanted to make himself a normal person, and then…

Then maybe one day, he could go back to her.

Go back to the girl he loved the most and spend a long life with her.

Thinking like this, he wondered how he could break away from those delusions and become a normal person?

When people were insane and had fantasies, their thoughts often became simple and direct— since strong sensations of pain could help a person get out of it, could he also get out of his own delusions? That’s why every time he saw them, he would try it.

It was extremely effective at first.

When the sharp blade cut into his skin, the intense and stimulating pain could make him wake up for a very short time. Once he woke up, the delusions would disappear.

He became obsessed with it.

Subconsciously, human beings were all animals that seeked the most benefits through the easiest way possible. If he continued to train, then his brain would gradually accept the hint: there would be pain if there were delusions.

In the long run, he might be able to control himself from the delusions.

Unfortunately, this method gradually failed after attempting it several times.

To his surprise, he gradually got used to the pain and the stimulation from the cold knife.

Even if the wound was bloody, it no longer worked.

“Man Man, I’m not going to kill myself. Look, my wounds are all on my arms. It’s not close to the arteries… I just, I just don’t want to lose control of myself.”

I just want to be able to hug you again one day.