Solitary Toss of Tenderness

She can only be the timely rain for me alone

When Lu Zizheng returned home, it was already dark. To her surprise, her mother was anxiously standing at the entrance of the corridor with the door open, waiting for her.

As Lu Zizheng stepped out of the elevator, Mama Lu hurriedly approached and grabbed her arm.

Aware of her mistake, Lu Zizheng didn’t wait for her mother to speak. She immediately held her mother’s hand and walked back together, obediently explaining, “Mom, I went to see Dad, so I came back a little late. I’m sorry for worrying you.”

Once inside the house, she crouched down and took her mother’s slippers from the shoe cabinet, placing them in front of Mama Lu with the opening facing outward.

Mama Lu closed the door and sighed helplessly as she looked at Lu Zizheng, who was still crouching. Lu Zizheng could be both irresponsible, causing worry, and sometimes so considerate that it was hard to reprimand her. Mama Lu glanced at her with a hint of displeasure and asked, “Why was your phone switched off? I couldn’t reach you. It’s not just me who was worried, you know.”

As Lu Zizheng changed her shoes, she explained, “I accidentally dropped my phone earlier, and the screen shattered. It’s probably broken.” Standing up, she pondered for a moment before asking with a hint of confusion, “What happened? Did someone call me?”

Mama Lu chuckled and replied, “Who else but Huaixi would be so worried sick about you?”

Lu Zizheng froze for a moment, her expression becoming somewhat uneasy. The bitter end to their recent phone conversation a few days ago was still fresh in her memory. She thought Jiang Huaixi was angry, but she never expected that once again, Huaixi had shown her understanding. This realization filled her heart with both a sense of sadness and warmth. She softly asked Mama Lu, “What did Huaixi say?”

Mama Lu, walking inside, answered, “She asked when we’re planning to return to Linzhou and if we’ve already purchased the tickets.”

Lu Zizheng’s heart skipped a beat, feeling inexplicably nervous. “How did you respond to her?” she asked anxiously.

Mama Lu went to the kitchen to heat up the meal, calmly replying, “I honestly told Huaixi the truth. I informed her that we were late in buying train tickets, so we couldn’t get the return tickets on the high-speed train. We’re planning to take a bus back on the sixth day of the Lunar New Year.” She glanced back at Lu Zizheng, her gaze carrying a deeper meaning, and continued, “Zheng Zheng, Huaixi mentioned that she hadn’t heard you mention your plan to return to Juzhou before. She guessed that it was a last-minute decision, and she figured it would be difficult to get tickets if you booked them too late. It seems she didn’t dwell on what happened that day.”

Lu Zizheng lowered her eyelids, remaining silent. She felt as if a seed within her heart was about to break through the soil.

Mama Lu brought the dishes and placed them in the microwave. “Huaixi said she has some errands to run in Juzhou on the fifth day and will also be returning to Linzhou on the sixth day. She suggested coming to pick us up so we wouldn’t have to squeeze onto the bus,” Mama Lu said, teasingly smiling. “Isn’t that quite coincidental? Like a timely rain.”

Lu Zizheng accepted the bowl with a smile forming on her lips. “It’s really coincidental…” The seed within her heart, nurtured by this timely rain, finally sprouted a tender little bud.

Seeing her smiling with bright eyes, as if in rare good spirits, Mama Lu’s mood also lightened, and she couldn’t help but offer a reminder, “Spring rain is precious like oil. Don’t waste it. If you don’t cherish it, the next time it falls, it might land in a different field.”

Lu Zizheng’s eyebrows relaxed, and she smiled with a lightness she had never shown before. Her voice carried a melodic tone as she replied to Mama Lu, “No, she can only be my timely rain, and she will always be my timely rain alone.”

Mama Lu was taken aback by Lu Zizheng’s sudden burst of confidence and conviction. She looked at her with bewilderment, only to see Lu Zizheng smiling and winking at her, her eyes shining brightly.

Has she figured it out?

Mama Lu couldn’t help but narrow her eyes and laugh wholeheartedly. Happily, she scooped an extra portion of spinach onto Lu Zizheng’s bowl, saying, “Spinach gives you vitality. It seems I haven’t given you enough spinach in vain. Have some more…”

Lu Zizheng chuckled as she looked at her mother, trying to make sense of the situation. What was going on…

After finishing the meal, Lu Zizheng returned to her room and took out her broken-screened phone, pressing the power button without much hope. Unexpectedly, after two or three seconds, the screen lit up. Lu Zizheng was overjoyed. In an instant, she had a sense of illusion, as if everything had become exceptionally smooth and prosperous since she had come to her realization and made up her mind. Her heart felt a lightness and ease that she hadn’t experienced in years.

She turned on the phone and indeed saw three missed calls from Jiang Huaixi displayed in the call log.

Looking at the red-colored Jiang Huaixi’s three missed calls in the log, she couldn’t help but smile. She pulled a chair and sat at the desk, composing a new message to explain to Jiang Huaixi: “My phone accidentally fell, so I didn’t receive your call.”

Soon enough, Jiang Huaixi replied with a simple response: “Okay.”

She looked at the message, pursed her lips, and couldn’t help but find it amusing. Her mother’s guess was completely off. It was evident that Jiang Huaixi wasn’t as unconcerned about that incident as she had presumed. Clearly, she was still upset.

She hesitated for a while, her index finger and thumb rubbing against each other, before deciding to show vulnerability for the first time amidst their unpleasantness. She expressed her concern, saying, “Mom told me that you’re coming to Juzhou on the fifth day. The weather in Juzhou these days is much colder than in Linzhou. When you come, make sure to wear more layers and be careful not to catch a cold.”

Immediately, Jiang Huaixi replied with a single syllable message: “Heh.”

Lu Zizheng burst into laughter. Well, even when she’s angry, she still manages to be aloof.

However, after a moment, another message from Jiang Huaixi came through: “Being overly attentive usually conceals ulterior motives. You suddenly being so gentle and considerate, I’m not used to it.”

Lu Zizheng chuckled and let out a sigh of relief. It seemed that the anger had subsided, and her sarcastic nature was back.

Her index and middle fingers, moving in a step-by-step manner, traversed the screen of her phone until they reached the recipient, Jiang Huaixi’s name in the SMS. Finally, they came to a halt there for a while.

After Jiang Huaixi made her declaration at the campus radio station’s general assembly, the two of them, due to their infrequent meetings, managed to peacefully coexist for a period of time.

During the May Day holiday in the second semester of their freshman year, Lu Zizheng was busy preparing for the upcoming English Level 6 exam and informed her mother that she wouldn’t be returning to Juzhou. On the eve of the holiday, the radio station’s director organized a gathering for the executives and staff members who didn’t go home. Xu Baihan, a fellow executive, also remained on campus, and she persuaded Lu Zizheng to join. Arriving late, they found a circle of people already seated around the table. Xu Baihan brought her own chair and settled into an empty space next to the director. Lu Zizheng stood awkwardly beside Xu Baihan, clearly not anticipating that she would so easily leave her behind. Looking around, she noticed that only one spot next to the wall remained unoccupied, with an empty chair. As she looked up, her gaze inadvertently met Jiang Huaixi’s indifferent eyes, unable to avoid the connection.

The director gestured with a sweeping motion of his hand and said, “Zizheng, there’s still a seat next to Huaixi. You can sit there…”

Lu Zizheng immediately lowered her head in resignation. Reluctantly, she began to take deliberate steps, moving closer to Jiang Huaixi’s side.

Just as she sat down, she heard Jiang Huaixi’s faintly mocking remark, “Sorry for the inconvenience of sitting next to me. I didn’t mean to expose you again.”

Lu Zizheng cast a cold, sidelong glance at her, subtly shifting her chair away to create distance between them. But as soon as she settled in, the person beside her exclaimed, “Oh, Zizheng, your chair is pressing on my foot! You’re sitting too close, and it’s crowded here…”

Lu Zizheng awkwardly stood up, moving the chair back towards Jiang Huaixi. Her face burned, and she dared not look up. In her peripheral vision, she noticed Jiang Huaixi watching her clumsy movements with a half-smile.

Just a few moments after they began eating, Lu Zizheng’s phone rang. She gestured to everyone and stepped out of the private room into the corridor to take the call. As soon as she answered, her uncle’s panicked voice came through, “Zizheng, come back quickly. Your mother suddenly started coughing up blood, and she’s currently undergoing emergency treatment at the People’s Hospital…”

Her legs went weak in an instant, her hand almost unable to hold the phone. Her teeth chattered uncontrollably, and it took her a moment to stutter out a response, “I’m coming right away, Uncle. I’ll be there immediately…”

She hurriedly turned back to the private room to retrieve her bag, taking a large stride forward, but she stumbled and fell to the ground. Ignoring the pain, she propped herself up and clumsily made her way back to the private room. As soon as she entered, she grabbed her bag without even glancing at the others, and in a trembling voice, she simply said, “I have something urgent to attend to. I need to leave.” She hastily rushed out.

Limping and hobbling downstairs, she wished she could fly, but the more anxious she became, the more disoriented she felt. Unsteady on her feet, she nearly tripped and almost fell straight down. In the nick of time, a slender hand reached out from behind and firmly caught her. She didn’t have time to turn around and get a good look, so she simply said, “Thank you,” and tried to continue running downstairs. However, that hand stubbornly held onto her, refusing to let go.

Lu Zizheng anxiously turned around and saw Jiang Huaixi’s beautiful but cold face before her. Jiang Huaixi’s voice was calm as she furrowed her brows and asked, “What happened?”

Lu Zizheng didn’t have the time or energy to tangle with her any longer. She shook off Jiang Huaixi’s grip and attempted to run, but Jiang Huaixi stubbornly grabbed her arm again, her brows furrowed in displeasure as she asked once more, “What happened?”

Lu Zizheng, infuriated, turned back and shouted, “Let go! I don’t have time to deal with you right now. My mother is in urgent need of medical attention, and I have to rush to the station.”

Jiang Huaixi’s expression turned cold, her lips pressed together, but she didn’t let go. Taking two steps forward, she reached the lower step compared to Lu Zizheng, and with her hands clasped behind, she attempted to lift Lu Zizheng onto her back. Naturally, Lu Zizheng struggled and exclaimed, “Let go! What are you doing…?”

However, Jiang Huaixi firmly held onto her waist, speaking in a low, commanding tone, “Don’t move, unless you want us both to roll down together.”

Lu Zizheng grew angry and said, “Jiang Huaixi, what are you doing?!”

Jiang Huaixi lifted her up onto her back, her breathing slightly unsteady, but her voice remained as cold as ever. “Am I the one causing trouble? Can you even run? Tomorrow is the start of the May Day golden week holiday. Go buy your ticket tonight. Do you think the train station is your private property?”

Lu Zizheng, only then regaining her senses, realized that she most likely wouldn’t be able to get a ticket. She struggled once again and said, “Put me down. I’ll charter a car to go back.”

They were nearing the parking lot when Jiang Huaixi gasped in anger, “Don’t move recklessly…”

Finally reaching the parking lot, Jiang Huaixi let go of Lu Zizheng, but as soon as she did, Lu Zizheng quickly tried to run away. Jiang Huaixi reached out and grabbed her, her face turning slightly pale, her voice trembling, “I’ll take you back to Juzhou.”

Lu Zizheng froze and didn’t move.

Jiang Huaixi opened the car door and got in, commanding, “Get in. It’s impossible to find a car at the last minute…”

Lu Zizheng hesitated, and Jiang Huaixi spoke in a cold voice, “I’m not helping you; I’m helping Auntie. Aren’t you going to Juzhou to see Auntie? Well, then, I’ll go.” With that, she closed the car door. Lu Zizheng shuddered and quickly opened the backseat door, getting into the car.

Shortly after the car started moving, Jiang Huaixi suddenly tossed a few adhesive bandages from the front. When Lu Zizheng reached out to pick them up, she realized that her hand had already grazed and was bleeding. But before Lu Zizheng could reflect on Jiang Huaixi’s thoughtfulness, her thoughts drifted back to her mother.

That night, Jiang Huaixi drove for five hours, and they didn’t arrive at the hospital until after 1 a.m. Mama Lu was already resting, as the doctor had diagnosed her with a gastric bleed and advised her to stay in the hospital for a week. Only Uncle Lu was present at the hospital bedside. Lu Zizheng glanced at her mother, who seemed more at ease, and then hurriedly rushed back home to fetch her mother’s clothes, as well as some daily necessities and toiletries for her hospital stay. Surprisingly, Jiang Huaixi silently drove her home, and afterwards, she voluntarily dropped off Uncle Lu before returning. She even went out of her way to buy a late-night snack for Lu Zizheng before quietly spending the night in the hospital corridor. The next day, Jiang Huaixi bought breakfast and delivered it to the hospital. Once Mama Lu woke up, Jiang Huaixi bid her farewell and returned to Linzhou. Before leaving, she didn’t forget to buy some fruit from the supermarket and gave it to Lu Zizheng’s uncle, who had come to visit.

Lu Zizheng silently observed and remembered everything.

After returning to school, Lu Zizheng sincerely went to Jiang Huaixi’s dormitory, bringing a gift to express her gratitude. However, Jiang Huaixi declined to accept the gift, raising an eyebrow and calmly asking, “Do you remember what I said before? One day, I will make you willingly approach the station manager and express your willingness to partner with me.”

Lu Zizheng was momentarily surprised, but instead of erupting in anger or retorting, she simply chuckled and turned to leave. Later that afternoon, she entered the station manager’s dormitory and submitted an application, requesting to be paired with Jiang Huaixi.

She knew that the distance between her and Jiang Huaixi had always been long, very long. The walls she had built around her heart, for Jiang Huaixi, were thick, very thick. If the distance between them was ten thousand steps, then Jiang Huaixi had tirelessly taken nine thousand nine hundred and ninety-nine steps to get closer. Now, it was time for her to make the final effort, to take that last step.

She stood up and walked to the window. Outside, the community was filled with dry and yellowing vegetation. But as she carefully looked, she could still see a few patches of vibrant green amidst the withered landscape. They swayed their delicate heads, thriving and eagerly observing this new world.

Winter was coming to an end, and she could already hear the approaching footsteps of spring…