Self (1)

“The representative of the envoy is the Empire’s first princess, Azalea, but she wants to meet Saint Ronan alone.”

Princess…so the first imperial descendant of the imperial family wants to have a private meeting with me?

My head went blank for a moment at a story I had never thought of.

For the trainees here, the story of the outside world was, in fact, the story of another world.

If you want to be selected as a trainee, you must come here before you are 9 years old and live isolated from the outside world for at least 9 years.

Naturally, knowledge related to the outside world was extremely limited for sequential brainwashing.

If there was any, it was only information related to history or geography, such as continental history or continental map, but even this was extremely biased data written from the point of view of the church.

Moreover, the Empire was founded by tearing apart the Holy Empire in the first place. There was no way the Church would have a favorable view of it.

Ironically, however, the sacred city where the religious headquarters is located is part of the Empire.

Thanks to this, he did not even consider contact with the outside world until he was officially recognized as a saint.

If the church is sane, there is no way that it would readily confront me, who has not acknowledged my official sainthood under the pretext that I am not yet perfect and need more education, to face outside forces.

But tomorrow, the envoy of the imperial family and I will be alone?

I don’t think the cardinals would have agreed to release me into a larger cage.

My mind was clouded with doubt.

Isn’t the church’s authority more important than I thought? Enough to listen to what the imperial family demands?

That’s not it.

It’s a blurry memory, but when Ronan lived before entering the headquarters, the priest who took Ronan out of the Orion Church couldn’t touch anyone around him.

If the priest of the periphery church was at that level, it was correct to assume that the authority of the church itself was guaranteed to some extent.

Then, is the power of the imperial family strong enough to ignore even its authority?

As a poor man like Ronan, he had a chance to feel the authority of the church, but he probably didn’t have many chances to feel the power of the imperial family.

In fact, just because the imperial family’s power is strong, there’s no way the church headquarters will tell you about it.

It is difficult to judge the power of the imperial family from Ronan’s memories.

Oh, is the power of the imperial family really strong?

The blurry head began to find a clear shape again.

Maybe this is an opportunity?

My head was full of thoughts about the imperial family, but I asked in a tone that felt burdened as to why.

“How could the future emperor be with someone like me…?”

“Heh heh, by the way. People who are good at politics are so interested in the church.”

Whether it was because he had no intention of hiding it, or because he hated the imperial family so much that he couldn’t hide it, the cardinal spat out very aggressive words.

“So, Saint Ronan.”

“yes.”

“There’s no doubt about Saint Ronan’s loyalty to the Church, right?”

Asking me so openly?

As expected, this meeting is not one that the cardinals accepted. It is pressure from the imperial family.

“Of course. It is said that the holy man acts as God’s agent, but isn’t it the church that actually acts as God’s will? I also only follow the church’s will.”

Today, I thought about eating it raw without saying anything, but in the end, the fanaticism that I didn’t want to say again.

“I am very glad that Ronan Saint has the right mindset.”

Then, the cardinal smelt his words again.

“But Saint Ronan. Among the many adversities that hinder the will of the Church in the world, if you had to choose one thing, would you know what it is?”

What the hell are you trying to say?

“Well… aren’t they demons who are known as God’s antipodes?”

“Yes, of course, demons are terrible creatures. However, it is not easy for demons to reach the human world. It is all thanks to Orion-sama’s grace. There are other problems than that.”

“Ah, yes. I see.”

Seeing that the devil doesn’t care, I think I can roughly guess the flow of this story.

“The biggest obstacle to the church is the imperial family. To be precise, it is the corrupt powerful people. Their self-interest prevents us from enlightening the people.”

Wow, a corrupt cleric’s remarks that don’t deviate an inch from expectations.

“The imperial family is the most powerful family on the continent. How great is their self-interest.”

Do you think the same logic can be applied to churches?

“We couldn’t protect the saint because we lacked strength. If we were to live alone with the saint tomorrow, the princess would spit out all sorts of deceit and temptations and try to coax the saint.”

What you’re doing now sounds like cheating and blackmail.

“Can the saint maintain his faith in the Order within that?”

The cardinal’s eyes shone dangerously at the end of his long speech.

I met those eyes.

“Of course. Because I have no value in anything but the Order and belief in God.”

He smiled brightly and said so.

After going through that lunatic, why did this cardinal’s sinister inside look cute? Is this shock therapy or something?

To me, who went through another level of being a fanatic fanatic, I think you are as ridiculous as you are.

“Heh heh heh, this old man really worried for nothing. Take it.”

As if he had read my mind, the cardinal handed me a beautiful shining white cross necklace with very fine craftsmanship.

“What is this?”

“A talisman for Saint Ronan. Keep it on your body at all times. This talisman will protect Saint.”

Yes, it is a necklace with a divine feeling that is not strange even if it is blessed on the surface. If the cardinal said that and handed it over, no one would doubt it.

If I didn’t have this emotional cheat, I would still feel sorry for the hardships I went through because of a crazy cardinal, so I would have thought of taking care of something.

but i can see it in my eyes

This necklace was a holy relic with the name of Xian’s blindness.

The function is to inflict auditory hallucinations, hallucinations, nightmares, and physical pain to the wearer according to the will of the person who has Kar’s sentence, a sibling relic. In addition, a location tracking function was added as a bonus.

What kind of terrible cursed item is this?

Is a device that tortures its wearer with a remote control a holy thing?

Cancel what I just said. This isn’t crazy.

Even though you wag your tail like this, you’re going to wear a leash like this in the end?

“Thank you for caring me.”

I feel sorry for my situation where I have to smile and accept this kind of thing.

The corner of his raised mouth trembled and it was best to hold back the double desire to come out.

The moment I put it on my neck, I felt like tears would come out.

“Since the saint is so faithful and full of guns, the only thing left to do is to revive the church. Take a good rest. Tomorrow will be a busy day.”

Were you satisfied with my answer?

Rather, he must have been satisfied that I had put the safety device he had prepared around his neck without a doubt.

Only then did the cardinal, who had finished all his business, said his regards and left the room.

Finally, all the dogs disappeared, and I, who was guaranteed a little freedom until at least tomorrow morning, smiled bitterly as I looked at the necklace hanging around my neck.

A torture necklace that cannot be removed arbitrarily. Is this a bomb necklace or a separate bomb necklace?

Weird, isn’t it normal to get a reward after getting through a normal death crisis? Why do I get an increased penalty?

“Get along well.”

As I was sinking into self-deprecation, a voice like that awakened my thoughts. Oh, there was Celia.

As she turned her gaze to Celia, Celia, who was startled, spoke her opinion once more while looking down.

“You look really good on Saint Ronan.”

Bad words almost came out in an instant, but somehow I managed to hold it in.

what does he know

The appearance alone is beautiful enough to believe that it is a holy relic.

Celia’s remarks were obviously well-intentioned.

Besides, Celia didn’t bring this necklace, how disrespectful it would be to get slapped by the cardinal and take out your anger on the kid.

“thank you.”

so i just said that.

“Saint Ronan… isn’t it unfair?”

What kind of change of heart has there been, as it is usually difficult to say a word to me.

Celia was talking to me quite actively today.

“what?”

“You almost died without knowing the English language. The other person doesn’t seem to have been properly punished. It seems like he’s just trying to cover it up with a necklace. Of course, he looks good on the Holy Son… but it’s unfair.”

Celia wheezing was quite cute, so I held Celia’s hand again and said it was no big deal.

“A saint is actually not as great a person as you think. Sir Telos also went through unfortunate things. There’s no forgiveness.”

In fact, I was beaten one-sidedly because I lacked a position, but I was not a person who was so reckless that I broke the child’s innocence.

“But… the saint is the human that Orion-nim values most. Isn’t he the noblest among humans?”

Seeing as they dropped me in a place like this, I don’t think that’s for sure…

“Orion loves all human beings equally. I’ve been appointed as a worker who works to make people a little happier according to his will.”

I’m not sure if that’s true.

It would be fine to use a philanthropic theory that can be roughly derived from religion.

I also give you a little jjamppong with the story of Jesus.

“…it’s the first time I’ve heard anything like that.”

“okay?”

I thought it would be a fairly common claim to say that the church is representing God’s will.

Well, maybe I haven’t learned that far because I’m still a child.

“But I think I know for sure that the saint is a very great person.”

“I don’t think I understood anything…”

“And I think it’s clear that the cardinals aren’t as great as I thought…”

“Celia.”

I fully sympathize with that feeling, but if I go outside and say something like that to anyone, I could disappear without a word and my brain would be bleached.

“Never say those words out of your mouth. No, don’t even think about it. Only you will have a hard time.”

When I tried to reprimand him with a stern voice, Celia nodded slightly, feeling intimidated.

“Actually, I think a little bit that way too.”

My heart was weak at that appearance, so I whispered to her like that, and Celia quickly brightened up. Perhaps it was because she was a child, her emotions changed easily.

After talking nonsense about gods and saints to comfort Celia for a while, I decided to go to bed.

It was a really very difficult day.

Almost getting killed by a mad cardinal, and then getting a bomb collar from another cardinal.

I still can’t half believe that I’m alive.

It was an environment where I couldn’t get motivated, but the fact that the imperial envoys were visiting tomorrow didn’t make me hopeless.

Wouldn’t it be possible that an unexpected way could arise from meeting alone with the princess?

At least, if I express my willingness to cooperate, I’ll be able to keep the cardinals from going crazy.

Come to think of it, in the worst case, even if I didn’t achieve meaningful results in my own life, nothing could be worse than now.

It seems like you spend every day with a bomb necklace hanging around your neck, what could be worse than this.

Alright, I’ve already worked hard enough today, so let’s do my best tomorrow.

Putting aside my worries about the future for a while, I fell asleep without even realizing that I had fallen asleep.

At this moment I was forgetting some very obvious truths.

That life gets worse in really bizarre ways the moment you think it can’t get any worse, and that there’s always a basement on the floor where you feel there’s no place to fall anymore.

* * *

the next morning.

Witnessing the princess mixed in with all the high-ranking priests, my head began to ache when I saw the princess with a very familiar aura.

…Is it an excuse to treat me alone, and do you have business with other cardinals?

Even escaping from reality like that was the limit.

Why the hell did this princess want to kill someone by coming to meet the saint?

They would have even coerced the church to treat me alone, but what is the probability that that someone is not me? I really don’t know.

This world just has no roots.

It’s a complete dog sh*t game that can’t be found with any probability.

It seems that all human beings are eager to kill me.

I can’t do it anymore. I can’t do it! I can’t f*cking do it!

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