The Fiancee Who Betrayed Me Is Obsessed With Me

51 – Blunt Knight (5)

“Beryl-!”

“It’s been a while, princess.”

After returning from the Deipson Kingdom.

It’s been a long time since I met Syria for therapeutic counseling.

I happened to have a free day, so this time I visited the therapist and the Duke family myself.

Recently, Yuuna has been busy with a lot of work since she started working on the succession plan in earnest, so the number of times she calls me and bothers me has decreased.

“How about treatment?”

“Based on the test results, it appears that you have used the drug a few times since then.”

“Then we’re back to square one.”

“I’m worried about Beryl… I couldn’t bear it… ”

As soon as we met, I pushed away Syria, who tried to cling to me, and talked to the therapist about my progress.

I thought it might be possible to completely quit taking medication, but it seems that it wasn’t that easy.

“Rather than the origin… I guess I’ve come to rely more on the driver. As I said, you need an experience that goes beyond the pleasure that drugs provide. And the anxiety that the driver might not be able to return from the battlefield probably also played a part.”

“It wasn’t even a war… “Then doesn’t this mean that the princess will eventually be unable to stop taking medicine without me?”

“Rather, it means that you should stop taking the drug first and then think about the next step.”

In short, I needed to cover up the withdrawal symptoms with skinship with me.

And it means that from the time you start looking for skinship with me more than medicine, it gradually makes you give up the habit of relying on pleasure.

In the end, it meant that I had to continue to see Syria like this.

“under… “There is a long way to go.”

“But I think we can definitely solve it if we just put in a little time. In fact, the princess’s condition has improved a lot. Now you eat all your meals properly. “I also told the duke’s family about my diet and asked them to make it healthy.”

“hmm… Is that so.”

I guess reducing withdrawal symptoms is more important than using the drug once or twice.

Maybe it’s a good thing from my perspective.

If I make Syria more dependent on me and on my side like this, and use him, I will be able to get revenge more quickly.

Rather, the more Syria relies on me, the more it will suffer when abandoned.

Although it was a little annoying, it seemed like a good idea to take the time.

After that, I spent my time doing counseling and treatment as usual.

At the end, based on the therapist’s opinion, we decided to give them a brief hug to motivate them.

I don’t know whose side I’m on.

“Beryl… Making a baby… ?”

“That is the story after the princess completely stopped taking medicine. “It’s still too early.”

“Hey… ”

Syria hugged me more tightly and buried her head in response to my determined appearance.

Compared to 10 years ago, the nature of Syria seemed to have changed significantly.

Of course, the drugs have an effect, but I guess I can say that I don’t feel like a tomboy like I did back then.

Maybe it’s because I’m out of my mind.

“But princess, do you really want to have a baby?”

“huh? no?”

“Then why… ”

“Doing that doesn’t necessarily mean you’ll have a baby, right? Just because it feels good… ”

“Then you don’t want to have a baby.”

“When I get married someday…” When I feel like this man will take full responsibility for me, I want to have a baby! “Women are like that.”

It was the most common sense thing Syria had said in recent times.

Still, it was a little surprising. In this regard, the thoughts are well thought out.

I guess it’s that important as a woman. Probably not many women welcome an unwanted pregnancy from the beginning.

“hmm… okay.”

pregnancy. baby.

Perhaps giving birth and raising a child can be happiness, but it can also be the seed of tragedy.

Because it meant the same thing as creating a weakness. And for some, that in itself may be a tragedy.

The reason I also had to feel this pain was because I was someone’s child.

If I had been an orphan without a family to begin with, I wouldn’t have had to feel the pain of losing my family.

Well, I don’t know if the parents’ feelings will be different. As of now, all I could think of were these perverse and cruel thoughts.

And how to use it.

“Then I’ll see you next week.”

I finished treatment and came out of the Duke’s residence.

On the way back to the Order, many thoughts came to mind.

***

After they started living in different rooms, Lia spent more time with Beryl.

Before, we shared the same room anyway, so it felt like we were in the room together when the time was right, but now that we couldn’t do that, so whenever we had free time, we went looking for him first.

I myself didn’t understand why I was looking for Beryl so much.

I was always looking for him whenever I had free time without even realizing it.

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And when I was with him, I was always smiling without even realizing it.

“Leah. “What will you be like when you have children?”

“Why are you suddenly asking that again? “Just like before.”

One day before bedtime.

Lia came to Beryl’s room and the two were sitting and talking.

Lia came to see Beryl after finding out that she had no night shift.

“just. curious. “I heard that senior Relic gave birth to a child this time.”

Not often, but once before. Beryl once asked Leah about marriage and children.

Although it was just a passing story, the fact that Lia clearly remembered it meant that the story was engraved in her mind.

I didn’t even know why Beryl got so heated every time she brought up such a story about love.

“ah… But isn’t that because Senior Rerick’s wife gave birth to a child?”

“yes. So what I mean is, what would it be like if you married someone and had a child with him? “Because there is also a life as a knight.”

Beryl, who was lying on the bed and staring blankly at the ceiling, turned around and looked at Lia.

My eyes kept falling on his angular face revealed beneath his slightly disheveled hair.

When I look at that face, my heart always beats faster for some reason.

“Well, well. If you find someone you really love, you can get married. “It’s not uncommon for knights to also get married.”

In fact, Lia had never once thought about marriage in her life. Until I had this conversation with Beryl.

Maybe it would be fair to say that I had no intention of getting married. Lia promised to live her whole life as a knight instead of someone’s family, wife, or mother.

In fact, I probably had no intention of getting married.

But for some reason, Lia couldn’t answer his question that way. I wanted to insinuate that maybe we could get married.

I didn’t know why, I just hated that Beryl thought of me as a knight who would never marry.

“But the child…” I don’t know. To be honest, I don’t think I want to have it. Because having children would likely limit my life as a knight. Giving birth to life is a noble thing in itself, but I cannot give up my life for a life that has not yet been created.”

“As expected… ”

However, it was different when it came to pregnancy.

I could definitely say that I would not have children.

Even if I really fell in love with someone, even if he asked me to have a child, I would probably say no.

I don’t know if I would be able to marry the person I love, but I never thought about giving up my life as a knight because of that.

Lia also thought she was firm on this part.

Maybe it was because Lia hadn’t experienced love yet, but that was what I thought now.

Love, I couldn’t give up on the article before that.

“Why are you doing this all of a sudden…? ?”

“Just, whatever. “I’ve been thinking that way lately.”

Lia pursed her lips as she looked at Beryl, who seemed to be feeling down for some reason.

Why did that story come up twice recently?

Perhaps because he was an orphan, he had a vague longing and admiration for family.

Maybe he dreams of having a happy family before becoming a knight.

Since he was a commoner and an orphan, his reasons for becoming a knight were obviously different from those of Lia.

Unlike Lia, who lived without anything, he would have had to do anything to survive.

Perhaps the article is just a tool for him. His true dream may have been to just have an ordinary family and enjoy ordinary happiness.

“Oh, you might be able to be happy even if you don’t have children. “If you’re with someone you love.”

“huh?”

“Or isn’t there another way called adoption? “There are many abandoned children in the world, so giving them happiness might be more valuable.”

“Okay… ji. “Maybe so.”

For some reason, Lia spit out those words. And I immediately regretted it.

If you think about it a little bit, it was like telling Beryl that she would be happy just getting married and not having children.

And if you misunderstand it, it will look like you are appealing to yourself for having such thoughts.

When I realized that fact, my face heated up, but I didn’t bother to say anything.

Deep down, he hoped that Beryl would at least understand the intention of his words. And I wanted us to be embarrassed together.

“hmm… ”

However, Beryl was thinking about something else, perhaps not attaching much importance to Lia’s words or not even listening properly.

Feeling annoyed and grumpy at that sight, Lia slapped Beryl on the back of the head.

“ah! Wow, why all of a sudden?”

“There was a bug sitting there.”

“Well, is that so… ?”

Why did I feel embarrassed?

For no reason, Lia was upset with Beryl.

“Of course, Lia. If the. Really, what if?”

“If the?”

“What would you think if you happened to have a child you didn’t want? What happens when you’re not even married? “You don’t even know the other person.”

“what… ? “Is that possible?”

Lia put a question mark in response to the strange question Beryl asked.

It was practically impossible, and I didn’t understand why he would suddenly ask such a question.

I didn’t know what to say in response.

I didn’t want to even imagine it, and I couldn’t even imagine it.

“… No, no. It was nonsense. “I guess I was a little tired today.”

-5 minutes before roll call!

“I have to go now. Get some rest.”

“Yeah, yeah. “Get some rest.”

Feeling somewhat uneasy, Lia left Beryl’s room.

It was a very awkward atmosphere at the end, but it was soon roll call time, so I had no choice but to leave the room.

I couldn’t even ask why I was asking that question.

But Leah soon forgot the question. Like I said, it was truly impossible.

Not being able to live as a knight any longer was unthinkable to Lia.