The Sub-Heroine’s Butler Is a Vicious Bastard

53. scar (2)

‘Torino Koyono… You said it was the silence that I met in the ordeal?’

It was something I had never thought of.

In the first place, the only thing they have in common is gender and hometown.

My visit to the ordeal was only for a brief moment, and what was the probability of meeting Koyono there?

‘Aren’t you looking at it wrong?’

[There is no doubt. Do you really not remember?]

Now the memory of the ordeal.

Think of the silence that remains like an afterimage.

She was about a head shorter than I was at the time, and was a girl in monk’s robes with bald hair.

Unlike now, which is a calm voice, it was also a cracked and trembling voice.

Above all, her femininity.

Of course, it was a period of growth, but at that time, her femininity was almost nonexistent.

She was a completely different girl than she is now.

[Covering people with milk. You’re also quite a vulgar guy.]

… I can’t help it.

It’s because I can’t see through the inside like anyone else, and I can’t tell them apart by smell.

The important thing was that the question of Koyono was resolved through her story.

[…] oh! Now wait… ]

[Hmm, I have a question for you. It doesn’t matter if it’s for a moment. !]

Before the entrance exam, she had bothered to follow me around, saying she had something to ask.

At the time, I flatly refused, but her reaction was strange.

If she knew me, all my questions would be cleared.

The question of why he didn’t pretend to know after that still lingered.

[A nerd. Even after making such a joke, did you want me to pretend to know you?]

I heard that.

Even if I were her, I would have remained ignorant.

[…] Anyway, the reason she revealed that she is a silencer is not different.]

Miho continues to speak in a serious tone.

Yes, this was important. The reason why she suddenly revealed Koyono’s identity.

[Ever since Koyono was in the ordeal… Showed signs of self-harm.]

‘… yes?’

Silence, so to say that Koyono harmed herself even in the ordeal.

Still, having been with her for about a month, I couldn’t understand Miho’s words.

Although she was quiet and sometimes dazed, there was no sign of self-injury.

[It’s only natural that you didn’t know. The reason why the child harmed himself was through the ordeal.]

Through her explanation that followed, I was able to hear the story of Koyono in the days of silence.

[Do you know that she couldn’t protect her master?]

‘I know. The fact that I was harassed and wandered in my family because of this.’

[The child came to the ordeal in the middle of his wanderings, and drove himself to undergo trials.]

‘… Are you saying that by being tried, you have been able to handle the urge to harm yourself?’

To my question, Miho gives a silent affirmation.

I have heard the story of her wandering.

There was a trial in the process of wandering,

I just didn’t know that I was doing some kind of self-harm by being tried.

Then, why did the urge to self-harm, which was endured through trials, change into an act of slitting the wrist?

After being wrapped up in that question for a while, Miho cautiously opens her mouth.

[The original woman chose you, and the ordeal was closed.]

It is true that he was indifferent to the ordeal because he focused on obtaining the seal and fixing Arlot.

If the guardian spirit chooses a human and the existence to serve disappears…

It would be natural for the temple to close.

‘And because of this… Koyono’s desire for self-harm was not met properly.’

The puzzle begins to come together piece by piece.

Originally, she should have pushed herself to the limit in the ordeal history and descended from the mountain while gaining enlightenment.

Because I finished the ordeal early, I couldn’t complete a series of courses.

Miho didn’t respond and just drooled, but I was sure.

Maybe because I went to the ordeal, something got twisted and I came to the current situation.

because of me… Could it be that she is broken?

[Wouldn’t it be impossible? If you hadn’t met me at that time, the child who died and couldn’t live could not have been saved.]

‘But isn’t it also true that Koyono suffered because of this?’

[If I had to say it, it’s the exact opposite. Because that child has been able to live until now, considering you as the light of life.]

‘… Lantern, isn’t that an exaggerated expression?’

During the month at the ordeal, he maintained some level of friendship with her, but isn’t the lantern an exaggerated expression?

As I was thinking that, Miho yelled at me.

[Didn’t you give me the advice yourself? That child completely believes in this and is still following it… !]

‘What do you mean by advice? ?’

[…] Like an idiot.]

Miho disappeared as if he had a heartache.

I must have given her some advice before the 10th stage trial…

I’m sorry for her, but I can’t remember at all.

It had already happened several years ago, and at the time of the ordeal, all I could think of was Arlott.

As I was wrapping my head around my head, I heard someone from outside the tent.

“… Schmitz, are you awake?”

Arlott was the one who opened the tent and entered.

* * *

“thank you.”

I burned cocoa using a bonfire that had not yet been turned off.

Between the two of them, who were seated in front of the campfire, only the sound of insects in the early morning was overbearing.

“actually… I knew Koyono was hurting herself.”

Arlott opened his mouth with a wry smile.

The campfire made a crackling sound and scattered in a mess.

“Kohono kept smelling blood. I was sure of this when I smelled the clothes and the room that had been burned.”

I think I heard that the two of them were in the next room in the dormitory.

Arlott said that he often visited her room, so he must have tried to help.

‘Is that the story of asking to take good care of Koyono?’

I thought of that and listened to her words without speaking.

“I thought I was overcoming it because I didn’t smell well these days, but they tried to save me… ”

Arthur’s expression darkened.

She thinks that Koyono harmed herself because of her.

Even if it wasn’t her fault at all.

If you look at the cause, it’s right to see that it’s all on me.

The work of the ordeal, and the work of giving her a sword.

It was a time when I was exhaling full of remorse over how I should confess it.

“It’s not your fault. Everything, the girl…”

“…Miss Koyono!”

I heard a voice trying to appear bright.

Koyono must have been asleep.

She spoke to the two of them with a dangerous and somewhat embarrassing smile.

As she staggered toward us, we hurriedly helped her and brought her to the Buddha.

The trembling in his body had subsided, but his pale complexion, drenched in cold sweat, remained.

“It’s okay now. It’s just that I was drunk on a stupid past for a while…”

Even after sitting by the fire, she continues to reassure me and Arlot.

It seemed to be a bit blurred.

It was a little overpowered, but I was just getting my energy back.

But I knew

The fact that she was just trying to reassure us with her desperate face.

Even if she swallows the pain like this, she will continue to understand somewhere else.

I could be sure of this by seeing Koyono start scratching her forearm reflexively.

“So, forget about it now. The girl’s lacking figure… Look, look, your body has stopped shaking, and now there are painful thoughts…!”

“Stop it, Koyono-san.”

So it was.

That’s how the answer came in a reflexive way.

At my determined voice, the corner of Koyono’s mouth, which was trying to create a smile with all its might, collapsed at once.

“Stop hugging yourself, and stop pretending to be strong even in front of us. Please.”

I wanted to stop.

She reassures those around her and adds to her scars.

I wanted to heal the scar that I, or she herself, had been wearing for years.

“If it’s hard, lean on it a little, and if it still doesn’t work, just hold it in your arms and play around. So, so…”

– Paat

As I continue to speak with emotion, Koyono comes into my arms.

‘As expected, he’s trembling.’

Feeling the gentle trembling she evokes.

I gave my arms without a word.

Only then did Koyono burst into tears like a child.

“I was afraid. Ugh… I was afraid I wouldn’t be able to protect someone again, I was afraid I would disappoint Lord Schmitz, who had put my heart into it, again… I was afraid I would give up everything and hide behind my shield…”

Koyono’s arm desperately wraps itself around me.

Like please don’t abandon yourself.

Like when you were abandoned by your family, as if you were told not to abandon yourself again

“Me and the princess will always be by your side. I told you. If you’re having a hard time, please lean on them comfortably.”

“Yes. If you are embarrassed to approach, we will approach Koyono-san first.”

Arlot, who had been watching the two, approached Koyono with tears in his eyes.

As she got out of the wheelchair and hugged Koyono together, the three of them became one and comforted her for a long time.

Against the backdrop of the sunrise driving out the dawn, Arlot and I cared for Koyono’s scars for a long time.