The Vase Man People Say Will Collapse

CHAPTER 13—Golden Toilet Award

There was a short break of a few minutes between the back-to-back ceremonies.

In previous film festivals, it was an excuse for everyone to leave the scene politely.

But at this year’s film festival, the intermission slogan was released, and all the film and television industry members were sitting in their seats chatting and joking, showing no intention of leaving.

On the official live broadcast channel of the film festival, the number of viewers increased instead of decreasing, and the screen became dense with comments again.

[Hahaha finally, the Golden Toilet has arrived! Ever since I knew Xie Yu was willing to come, I haven’t closed my eyes for dozens of hours. I’m so excited!]

[As a fan of Ayu, I dare not open my eyes. I always feel that this award will be torture for Ayu, but when the camera scans over him, Ayu seems to be very calm?]

[Wow, all the bosses at the scene have not left, which is completely different from previous years.]

[The Golden Toilet Awards is also hosted by that Tom. I’m afraid he will make things difficult again for Xie Yu.]

[I really think that the actors who were shortlisted in the past should also have the courage Xie Yu has.]

Xie Yu took the time to go to the bathroom and carefully tidied up his appearance.

After returning to the seating area, as he approached, he found that there was no longer a hill of trophies around Shen Qi.

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Unlike other winners who wanted to put their trophies on top of their heads to show off, this man didn’t keep any trophies with him.

He was empty-handed, watching the stage where the scenery was being changed nervously, and when he noticed Xie Yu approaching, he immediately stood up to let him pass.

Xie Yu thanked him in a low voice, and quickly sat back in his own seat.

As soon as he sat down, he heard the sound of music re-emerging from the venue.

Compared with the passionate soundtrack of the Golden Laurel Awards, the soundtrack of the Golden Toilet Awards was obviously much more funny and comedic.

Xie Yu listened carefully and couldn’t discern which musical instrument was being used.

When he raised his head in a daze, he saw that the previous grand stage had been demolished until only the metal skeleton remained, so that the atmosphere now was rather shabby and monotonous.

The dense lighting was also cancelled, leaving only a bunch of light-yellow headlights at the center of the stage.

When there was no more hustle and bustle in the venue, the male and female hosts came onto the stage.

“Good evening, I’m very pleased to see that no one left the venue early this year.” The hostess smiled implicitly, “I’m very happy for Mr. Howson…Oh, by the way, he’s at the scene, I don’t know how he feels now?”

Howson was the initiator of the Golden Toilet Awards and an old artist who was reborn as a director.

The off-court camera switched immediately and happened to capture Howson’s movements.

The elderly man patted his chest in relief, and smiled very purely at the camera.

“I also want to congratulate the Golden Toilet Awards. After so many years, the first nominee who is willing to be present has finally appeared.” The host nodded as he spoke, “Just now, during the intermission, I went backstage to take a look at the barrage online. Do you know what everyone was talking about?”

He paused for a moment, and then his tone became teasing, “They were all asking the organizers to announce the actor award in advance.”

There was a burst of laughter under the stage, and the moving camera moved back to capture Xie Yu.

Xie Yu sat upright, and just smiled and shook his head.

“Actually, I thought the same. I also believe that many people here have the same hope, right? Then we…” The male host bent and leaned forward, “Let’s follow the process! The criticism given by the Golden Toilet Awards will treat all awards equally. No adjustments will be made based on whether someone came to accept the award or not, or which work is being awarded.”

“In order to promote the development of the film industry, in star calendar 7244, the Golden Toilet Award was established during the film festival awards week, and was jointly initiated by the famous director Howson and the Interstellar Film Society. We aim to use a critical eye to cleanse the film industry, speak for the majority of movie-watching citizens, and inspire the industry as a whole to move forward.” The hostess read out the opening speech which hadn’t been changed for decades.

The critical nature of the Golden Toilet Awards made the atmosphere at the scene quite restrained.

Many main creators were listening carefully and did not dare to laugh in front of the camera.

“Movies are a precious art that has been passed down from the time of the human race on Earth. And it flourished during the period of the interstellar art explosion. In the long river of history, there have been countless brilliant masterpieces that have won supreme glory and praise, promoting the development of interstellar society and have been widely praised.” The male host spoke while changing from his previous relaxed tone.

“But at the same time, we need to face up to the shortcomings in the development of art. The Golden Toilet Awards has no intention of grandstanding, nor is it aimed at individuals. It only focuses on the work itself, basing itself on the advancement of the film industry, and giving objective and pertinent opinions.” The female host turned the page on the light screen in her hand, and when she raised her head again, she said in a solemn tone, “Thank you again for your support over the years, and now we begin the awards ceremony!”

There was applause throughout the venue, and the first award was ushered in.

The Golden Toilet Awards was different from the Golden Laurel Awards.

It only had ten awards. There were also no warm-up performances, no short clips for all nominated works, and no award presenters.

It only awarded awards quickly, and then left time for the award speeches for the winning works.

“Worst film of the year—” the male host directly flipped through the light screen, “The Legend of Aquarius directed by Li Dayiao.”

A huge poster of <The Legend of Aquarius> was displayed on the big screen on the stage, which caused a lot of noise from the guests off the stage.

On the screen, the male protagonist’s side face was in dark blue shadows, three-dimensional and delicate, but it was a pity that it did not express half of the meaning it should have.

When the moving camera focused on Xie Yu, the audience in the live channel realized that the young man who had been smiling since the beginning of the film festival, now had a sincere, serious expression and focused eyes.

“The organizers combined with the referendum vote, and finally decided that the worst film of the year will be awarded to <The Legend of Aquarius>.” ShenSheng, the hostess continued, “We believe that as an annual fantasy blockbuster, with intensive marketing and special effects, it had the halo of a big production. But it still couldn’t conceal, at its fore, the lack of spirit from the script. Its story structure was loose, the plot was superficial and exaggerated, and the characters were flat and empty. It neither showed the audience a grand world nor did it give the audience anything to reflect on.”

“Four hours of viewing time, even the theater bathroom was full, which shows that the plot was not attractive enough.” The male host took up the conversation, “History has proven that good marketing can indeed save good works. But even with publicity and financial resources, it does not bring a good reputation to inferior works.”

“We contacted the director of the film, Li Dayiao, in advance. Director Li said that he was out of town and could not come to accept the award.” The hostess said, “His words were intriguing, and the organizers decided to show it to everyone for appreciation.”

——Hey, hello, hello… what? I won an award?

——Um? Golden toilet?! What shit!

——I’m not going! Take a fart! Whoever lacks a toilet will go! (TL: ‘Take a fart’ is just a literal translation, but it’s like replacing cursing words and has the meaning along the lines of ‘like I’d go and get sh*t like that’)

The audio was noisy, a few swear words popped out from time to time, and in the end he simply refused.

In just these few minutes, with one phone call, Director Li Dayiao’s vulgar and conceited image was sprinkled and spread to the entire interstellar audience like ink.

The guests at the scene did not expect the opening of the Golden Toilet to be so explosive, and they could not respond for a while, allowing Li Dayiao’s perfunctory rhetoric to float over the film festival through giant speakers.

Xie Yu supported his forehead with his hand, and was very glad that he did not choose to escape.

For the next few awards, Xie Yu saw the directness and viciousness of the awarding done for the Golden Toilet.

In addition to <The Legend of Aquarius> which he starred in, there were several other movies on the list, which couldn’t escape disaster.

“The last category, the worst male and female lead.” At the end of the awards ceremony, the male and female hosts announced the heroine first according to the usual practice.

Turning to the next screen, Xie Yu’s name suddenly appeared on the light screen.

“<The Legend of Aquarius>, the worst actor, Xie Yu.” The hostess looked straight ahead and then looked down at the front row of the seating area, “Please listen to the award commentary.”

In the camera, Xie Yu showed no embarrassment or anger on his face, and just nodded slightly, with an expression of waiting for the host to read the award commentary.

“We believe that the leading actor in <Legend of Aquarius> has not played a role either in pulling the plot or expressing the theme of the film.” The hostess said methodically, “And Xie Yu, in his ten-year acting career, we could see that not only did his acting skills fail to improve, but he also seemed to be limited by his role in this work, and his performance was horrible.”

“As the most important part of the Golden Toilet Awards, the presentation commentary for the worst actor and actress is the most well-prepared component. But this year there is an award recipient present, and we chose to give him more time.” The male host nodded and turned directly to the audience and stretched out his hand.

All eyes focused on Xie Yu’s face following the host’s movements.

The young man in a suit stood up neatly, stepped quickly onto the stage, and before receiving the trophy, he stood at the center of the stage, bowed deeply to the audience, and said sorry when he stood up straight.

This action was like pouring water into hot oil, causing the originally quiet scene to burst into warm applause.

Everyone guessed what Xie Yu would say, but seeing this unprecedented scene, no amount of contempt remained, but instead it dissipated, and only respect remained.

Xie Yu has experienced countless awards ceremonies but he had never dealt with such a scene.

And no matter how calm you are, there will still be worries. Now hearing the encouragement from the audience, a smile full of emotion appeared on his face unconsciously.

He placed the trophy in his arms, and paused for a few seconds before speaking.

“I was thinking in the audience just now, since the Golden Laurel is an award to be grateful for, why not apologize for the Golden Toilet.” He stroked the metal edge of the trophy with his fingers, and its cold touch made him more alert.

“If you want to give an apology, there are many people to mention, but I just want to pick a few to say things to.” Xie Yu smiled and lowered his voice, “Anyway, I’m the only one present, so won’t you let me give a speech?”

The male and female hosts hurriedly waved their hands, signaling Xie Yu to speak casually.

The audience also applauded sporadically, waiting for Xie Yu to continue.

“I entered the industry ten years ago, and I was brought in by my agent Zhou Cheng. At that time, I had no concept of this profession, so I asked him how to become famous.” Xie Yu shifted his gaze to the seats in the middle and back row.

Although he couldn’t see clearly, he still wanted to find Zhou Cheng, “My manager said, don’t think about getting famous, putting the cart before the horse will not bring you honor. I didn’t understand it at the time, but I kept this sentence in my heart…”

“Later on, Zhou Cheng strictly managed the works I received. I was also fortunate to meet many seniors who I have high respect for and were willing to support the younger generation, and so I was able to enter harmonious crews.” Xie Yu continued, “But it was me. I didn’t make progress, I failed the training given by all my seniors and my manager, and I failed the expectations of the audience.”

After saying this, he bowed again, and when he raised his head again, his serious expression was even more moving.

“For this work, I won’t comment on the other parts. But as for the part I completed, I think it wasn’t satisfactory.” Xie Yu stretched out his hand and spread his five fingers to count one by one, “First of all, I didn’t do enough to dig out the character’s character. Then, the acting techniques were also rigid, and there was no innovation. In the end, I admit that I couldn’t bear the pressure, and I accepted the film contract for the salary, completely forgetting about the sense of mission to polish the work, and forgetting my original intentions.”

The last sentence was very straightforward, and he didn’t save himself any face at all.

No one applauded at the scene—half were surprised and half nodded.

“When I entered the industry, I received the best newcomer award. But I haven’t made any progress in the past ten years. Until I came to this point, where I have won the Golden Toilet Award. Then I realized that my path has gone astray.” Xie Yu shook his head, “To be honest, when I realized this, for a moment, I underwent various moods, but now I hold this heavy criticism in my hands, and I feel relaxed and stable. It’s like finally letting go of a burden and starting again.”

Before Xie Yu finished speaking, applause broke out in the venue.

Many guests stood up one after another and took the initiative to pay tribute to Xie Yu.

Many of them were seniors, and they applauded slowly and enthusiastically.

“One last word.” Xie Yu spread his hand and pointed to the small golden toilet in his arms, “This trophy is enough, because I won’t make the same mistake again.”

After saying this, he stepped off the stage with the trophy, clutching the golden toilet trophy tightly.

The eyes of everyone off the stage were full of kind encouragement, and many colleagues who had no connection with him showed admiration.

When Xie Yu passed by, they reached out to pat him and hug him.

The Golden Toilet Awards, which had been deserted for many years, bursted out with unprecedented enthusiasm on this night.

*****

TL: Shen Qi was nervous for him~~ ヽ(≧▽≦)ﾉ