Too Late....

2year later...

The whole mansion was looking like a castle, decorated for orphanage kids. Today, kids were invited along with Sister Martha. Jack has also returned in the morning, and checking all the arrangements and gifts. All servants were given costumes.

....

Children were admiring the mansion. They were feeling special. Paul was playing with them. There was one girl who was sitting on Paul's l.a.p. Paul was enjoying with children.  Whole mansion was looking lively.  Kids have only one hour left before they were sent back to the orphanage. Some of them were in the garden and some of them were inside the mansion.

Jack has also returned in the morning, & was looking for Rishika. But, thought that he will meet her later, after sending the kids. He was gathering kids to be sent home, when he heard, a scream coming from the garden side.

He soon went there and found the children terrified. But soon noticed someone in mascot attire running from the garden.

He went after that mascot. He pushed the mascot on the floor and kicked it hard.  When Jack saw that mascot is not trying to fight anymore. He bent down and pulled the mascot mask from that person. But when he did, he saw Rishika, looking terrified, with tear faced, trying to hide her face.

He stumbled looking at her. His face paled not because he saw Rishika, it was because of how she looked. He noticed there is no hair on her head. She was bald, her eyebrows were shaved & her eyelashes were plucked. She looked ugly & then Jack realized that the kids got scared looking at her. Soon, Paul also came running behind Jack.

When Rishika saw Paul, she crawled towards him and hugged his leg. Paul bent down and pet her head like a dog. 

'It's ok. Calm down.   Now you see, you have scared the kids by showing your ugly face. They look so terrified."

Rishika listening to his words nodded her head and said, "I just want to play with them. "

"But they don't want to play with you Rishika. They are scared of you. Now go into your room"

Paul was looking at her retreating figure when Jack holds his collar.

"What have you done to her?"

"I did nothing. She just realized her place."

"You shaved her head, eyebrows. How could you? "

"Oh, that, still I didn't do anything. " releasing his collar from Jack's grip. Paul put his hand on his heart and said, "I'm hurt, that you think I could do this to her. I would never do this to her. But she did."

Flashback.

Rishika's depression is at a very high rate. Her day starts backward. She wakes up tired and goes to bed wide awake. The truth of putting blame on some innocent man is eating her from inside.

All the time she felt guilty for everything. She felt guilty when she wakes up when she eats. For every breath, she takes she felt guilty. With depression and guilt comes one more thing, self-hatred.

Paul informed her that today, kids from the orphanage are coming. She just nodded and went to the bathroom. Brushing her teeth, she saw herself in the mirror with disgust and hatred. She hates herself, for ruining so many lives with her lies.

She was brushing her teeth furiously, when the image in the mirror asked her, "Stop. Stop hurting yourself.  "

Whenever her inner voice tries to talk to herself, she hurt herself. Pain has become her relief. Pain has become her medicine. Pain is the only thing which makes her shut her inner voice.

Paul was doing his work on the laptop when he noticed Rishika didn't come out of the bathroom yet. He knocked on the door but didn't get a reply. With spare key when he opened the bathroom, he stumbled looking at her. He saw, she has shaved her head and eyebrows. She was plucking her eyelashes with plucker.

Rishika wants to feel pain, wants to hurt herself, so instead of cutting her eyelashes, she started plucking.

The pain was soothing. She was struggling in plucking her eyelashes when Paul grabs her hand.

"What are you doing?"

"Huh! Paul see I chopped my all hairs. I feel relax. These hairs have become a burden on me. "

Self harming herself is the only way, where she feels that her burden has decreased.

Pointing towards the mirror, she said, " look, Paul, now I look like trash. Right?" Saying this she started laughing loudly.

Paul turned his face from her. After so many days she was laughing, but her laughter is at the cost of her own pain.

She was laughing so hard that it looks like she was mocking her, just like a big bad school bully does on weak students. Her laughter, which used to be a music to his ears has become a taunt on himself.

Paul tries to take a plucker from her hand when Rishika shook her head.

"No... No... I haven't cut all the hair."

Paul gulped hard and tries to make her understand. "Rishika... Relax, it's ok. Now, give me the plucker. You will hurt yourself. Won't you listen to your Paul? "

Rishika very reluctantly gave him the plucker.

What no one understands that When Paul asks her with love, she gave him the plucker. All she needs love from someone. Assurance from anyone, who can just tell her, that she is good. She just wants someone to assure her that it's ok if she made a mistake. But there is no one.

People make mistakes, learn from them and move on.  But for Rishika, there is no one ready to forgive her, and move on. They made her feel like that her mistakes are unpardonable. They are not letting her move on.

Flashback ends.

" See I told you, I didn't do anything" saying this, he starts going back to the mansion. Jack looked at him and asked him something which makes Paul stopped.

"Did you ever love her? "

Paul didn't turn around when Jack continued" I can vouch for her. She did and still do. No matter what she did to get you, but she never stopped loving you. But did you ever love her." getting no response from Paul,

Jack continued, " Forgive her, I know you hate your father. She doesn't know that she was being manipulated by your father. Just forgive her."

Without answering him, Paul went from there.

....

"Last, the time you asked me to help you in escaping. I should have listened to you at that time. 11 pm be ready, come here, we will leave from here. "

Jack noticed a conflicting expression on her face. Without saying anything he went from there.

....

It was 11:30 pm, and Jack was still waiting for her.

"She won't come, Jack. Even if I want her to escape, she won't even think about it." Jack turned around and find Paul, looking very exhausted.

"Did you hurt her again?" Yelled Jack.

"No, but the truth is she doesn't want to escape. Heck, even I want her to go from here before I hurt her more."

There was a silence, when Jack said,  "you must be very proud of you."

Paul didn't say anything and left from there. Jack keeps standing there recalling how last time Rishika begged him to let her leave, or kill her. He came out of his trance when he heard Paul yelling for him from the mansion.

He closed his eyes and compose himself. He shouted at Paul, "help me to get her out of this bathroom."

When saw Paul didn't move, he slapped him hard one and yelled"Snap out of it. Paul. She will definitely die if you won't help me."

Paul came out of his trance and helped Jack.

Soon doctors also came and bandaged her wrist.

Jack and Paul both were in the room, waiting for her to get conscious.

...

Rishika opened her eyes and when she realizes she survived, her eyes welled up.

She recalled how she went into the bathroom to freshen up, but when her inner voice begged her to take Jack's help, and go from here.

She became so furious. She was fighting with herself stating, "never... Stop instigating me against Paul. You are mean. Rishika, you are mean." But when her inner voice was not backing down, she took the blade and slit her both wrists.

Paul went towards her, and grabbed her jaw,"  how dare you? How dare you pull that stunt? You think that by pulling that, you'll get my love. Answer me damn it"

Rishika flinched when Paul shouted.

" I tried to commit suicide, not because of pain, but because, I know you deserve a better partner. I know, I'm becoming a burden on you. "

Paul fisted his hands and glared her,

  " of course,  I don't deserve you. But do you think pulling this stunt will help me? "

He was making her feel guilty again. "You say you love me. Then prove your love for me."

Rishika looked at him,  "How? Whenever I do something, I always end up hurting you."

Paul smirked internally and said,

  " kill this Rishika. No one wants this Rishika."

Paul explained to her, what he wants. What he doesn't know that what he was asking her to do, will not only kill her but also he was giving her hope which was going to be harmful to her.

After explaining to her,  " if you do this for me, maybe, I'll love you again. Maybe we can have a bright future." Saying this he went from there,  leaving Rishika all alone.

He again promised her something which he can not fulfill. He is again going to break the broken Rishika.

After pondering over what Paul has asked her to do, she called up a maid and gave her a paper & instructed her to bring these things urgently. Maid straight away went from there.

Rishika went into the bathroom, looking at her in the mirror. Her mirror image started yelling, "don't... Please don't do this."

With tears in her eyes, she said,  " I have to. I don't have any choice. Can't you see, no one wants you, me or us. They hate us. "

Her mirror image desperately tried to convince her,  "Please stop. Can't you see? Did he ever love us? How could he ask us to do this thing? This is cruel. It's better if you kill yourself. What he is asking is worse than death.STOP"

"He said he will love me again. You also know how much we both want this. I just want people to talk to me nicely. Can't you see that we are bad. "

Her mirror image again tries to convince her,  " please if you do this. We can never undo this. We can never go back. I know we are desperate, but this is not right. "

In the end, her mirror image again yelled,  "Rishika, please... Please... Don't kill me. You are me. And I'm you. We are the same. "

But Rishika looked at her image, joining her forehead with her image she whispered,  " I'm sorry. But you need to go. We need to go. My family and Paul have abandoned me, I also need to abandon you. I know you will be lonely, but I'm sorry, I can not keep up with you. Goodbye forever."

Saying this she broke the glass. Rishika looked down at the glass pieces and saw the trapped Rishika which was begging her. With hard expression, she, crushed the glass pieces or Rishika with her heels just like everyone has crushed Rishika with their feet. 

She went out of the bathroom and saw the packet.

She opened the packet and took out the lenses  & wig from it.

She sits in front of the dressing table and placed the lenses in her eyes. After opening her eyes after a few minutes, she looked at her eyes and saw her image with admiration.

She stood up admiring her eyes. She forwarded her hands for the handshake and start practicing,

" Hi, I'm Mrs. Schmidt. Mrs. SHREYA Schmidt. How are you?"

....

Paul has asked her to kill Rishika and become Shreya. He manipulated her fragile mind. But what he doesn't know, even if they both try, they both will never be able to bring back Rishika.

Shreya has blue eyes, now this new version of Rishika also has blue eyes, unlike her black eyes.

Shreya has curly hair, Rishika' wig is also curly & Burgundy color, unlike her natural black straight hair.

...

This journey of Shreya (Rishika)started, for the unknown future.

....

Thanks for voting on sofanovel. Like I always said, I'm Lil bit disappointed with the updated chapters. I have edited this one without changing the dialogue. Kindly, do read and tell is this chapter OK.

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Sharmavidhishree

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