Two Swords and the Angel’s Feather

“Just be patient, Ellen. He doesn’t mean anything bad.”

“Can’t it just be us two, River? The Duke is not interested.”

River’s hand stroked her back. Their sweaty body gradually cooled down and became cold. Ellen shivered, and he pulled the blanket over her shoulders. Then he held her with one arm and turned around, lying upright, looking into the space.

Ellen patted River on the chest with one hand, her head resting on his shoulder. She was gradually becoming more familiar with his firm chest. The fact that he was interested in her for real had also started to hit her. Even though she still did not understand why.

“I’ve been with the other soldiers, and I’ve had a lot of fun under Count Greebeck. I know what it’s like to rely on and trust someone. Otherwise, I could not become a great knight. When I fight, I need someone to fight along with me.”

His hand stroked her shoulder. She no longer felt awkward or uncomfortable about him touching her scar. Because she knew he did not think much of it.

His calm blue eyes looked back at Ellen. A rarely seen melancholic smile flashed in his face.

“My brother didn’t have anyone to do that, Ellen. He had to endure our father’s abuse alone, and he had to make all the decisions independently. That’s why he doesn’t know what it’s like to be open and honest with someone. He also doesn’t know what it’s like to love and be loved. I wanted him to know what it’s like to be loved next to you. What it’s like to be loved by a woman like you. I thought it would be great to be loved by you.”

Ellen’s eyes grew a little bigger. River slightly touched her chin, smiling with a brighter look on his face.

“Yes, I want him to be loved by someone like you.”

“Why? Why me? There’s a lot of better women than I am.”

“That kind of excuse again.”

River frowned playfully and pinched her nipples painfully under the blanket. Ellen held her breath due to it, and his hands gently circled and rubbed the thick part.

“I told you not to say that. None of the women I’ve ever seen is better than you. At least, I have never wished to be loved by any of them.”

Ellen’s body trembled. Love. Was she in love with him?

She indeed had never had an intimate relationship before besides River. But what had started it was the surprise and delight of having that man, who could have anyone, be interested in her. And after that too… maybe it was also because he kept on approaching her. He continued to surprise her, relentlessly covering her with hugs and kisses to a point she could not resist.

But what if he suddenly turned his back on her? He would probably step back when he felt the timing was right. She thought of it a million times as if it was something obvious.

That’s not love. It’s like…

Oh, my God, what am I doing? Is it possible that I slept with a man I don’t even love just because he is interested in me? While letting him do all those things?

“Ellen, you’re thinking of something unnecessary again, aren’t you?”

“What?”

River rolled over to land on top of Ellen and looked down at her, leaning on his arms. Ellen stared at him with wide-open eyes. Did she love him? Did she not?

“Love is not a difficult emotion. Do you think it’s okay for us to sleep in one bed and open our eyes side by side, and eat together for the rest of your life?

Ellen was lost in thought for a moment. Yeah, it sounded nice—his warm body embracing her every night, eating, laughing, and chatting with him day in and day out. She nodded slowly. River beamed a smile.

“That’s love. At least it’s the beginning of love.”

“But I can’t do anything for you. I’m the only one who gets…”

River tilted his head.

“Why do you think that?

“I’m always the one who… in bed… feels good… and Lord River always takes care of me.”

River chuckled and rubbed his face against the back of her neck.

“That’s your imagination. It feels good for me too. You want me to tell you how good it is, huh?”

She could feel his hardened lower part stabbing below her abdomen. Ellen’s eyes got bigger. He bowed his head, bit her ear, and slowly dipped his tongue in as he whispered.

“Ellen, a man doesn’t get this excited so often simply because of his desires, it’s because you accept everything I do, and you’re generous with everything I do. I know you’re willing to accept whatever I do.”

Ellen looked back at him in surprise.

“Are we doing something we shouldn’t be doing? Are we doing that?”

River burst into laughter above her, genuinely amused by her words. She could feel his heart pounding with excitement through her own. Her skin felt itchy. It probably was because she had said something stupid, but she liked how he laughed so happily.

“Some people say that what we are doing is very…depraved.”