15. Slow learning turtle (5)

15. Slow learning turtle (5)

A funeral.

I don’t like funerals very much.

I have to maintain a solemn and quiet atmosphere, and I hate a sad atmosphere.

“…No one came because it was raining.”

“…”

A silent bluebell.

She was dressed in a black robe suitable for a funeral.

Maybe because of that, he looks more depressed than usual.

Anyway, for the sake of my mental health, I thought it would be better to end the funeral quickly.

“I’m going somewhere for a while.”

“…Go quickly.”

I need to get back to you as soon as possible.

Bluebell’s condition is not good.

It seemed like he couldn’t get out of the shock of Marquis Irten’s death.

‘I should have overcome it well.’

With those thoughts in my head, I looked around the mansion to find the butler.

I think I looked around for about 10 minutes.

I found him in the lobby of the mansion.

“Chief butler, did you send the letter properly? Why don’t the visitors come?”

The old butler Rave.

He raised his glasses and answered in a harsh tone.

“I don’t know about that, but I’m guessing it’s raining so I’m afraid to attend.”

“The marquess of the period family lost their lives. The nobles of the estate are not attending? Do you think that makes sense?”

Even the Marquis of Irten, who is widely popular and called a man of character?

I knew the truth, but pretended not to know and was furious.

Seeing that, the butler let out a sigh.

“I am well aware of that. I know better that Marquis Irten is popular. But what about reality…”

Rave was heartily disassembled.

And, he was disappointed with the cold reality.

“How much did Marquis Irten take care of the convenience… The sky is too much. Isn’t it?”

“That’s right. The sky is so high. It’s normal for a funeral to be full.”

Marquis Irten, seen in the novel, is Hogu itself.

He was kind, considerate of others, and made a lot of accommodations.

However, looking at it now, his funeral is empty.

‘In the novel, Bluebell is alone. He stood still, not knowing how to do a funeral.’

According to the description in the novel.

Bluebell said he waited until the rain stopped.

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‘How many people are blessed by Dad? I will come when the rain stops. Until then, I can’t put Daddy in the coffin.’

Bluebell waited tirelessly for the rain to stop.

Staring at his father’s dead body.

Even if the body starts to rot and flies fly around.

‘Dad… He said he lived a better life than anyone else. So I will definitely come.’

That patient and impatient bluebell.

It is said that she waited for the mourners because she could not put her father in the coffin by herself.

‘The kid is bad, but he’s nice.’

No matter how mean she was to the servants, even if she didn’t listen to her parents.

She loved her father, the Marquis of Irten, very much.

“…No matter how long I wait, people won’t come.”

“It’s been 5 hours since I sent the letter. I wonder if it will come soon-“

No, it never comes.

I cut off the butler’s words and shouted firmly.

“The funeral will be held with me and Bluebell, and the servants of the mansion.”

Although not a member of the family.

Since I had to take care of her blue bell, I told her boss and went back to her who was waiting for me.

However.

I thought I got the job done ASAP.

“You’re late, where have you been…? Do you know how unpleasant I was while I was alone…? Don’t leave me alone from now on…”

I don’t know what kind of fear Bluebell felt alone.

She trembled in terror and grabbed my collar anxiously.

‘This is more than I thought… ‘

No, better than planned.

It seemed to be in poor condition.

***

Irten’s funeral was held at the family cemetery at the back gate of her mansion.

Originally, it is known that it is much less cumbersome and convenient to contact the church and proceed together.

Since there were no mourners, we decided to end the funeral by ourselves.

“Is Lady Bluebell okay, even if I go on alone like this?”

“…You do it yourself. I don’t know anyway. And, I just.”

I don’t want to see my dead father anymore.

“I hate it all now… I just want to end it all…”

It was raining so I couldn’t see it properly.

Bluebell was clearly shedding tears.

I put a black umbrella over her head.

“Let’s finish this quickly and go in. Close the coffin.”

In my words, a servant.

In particular, two coachmen who are good at strength stood up holding Irten’s coffin.

They slowly approached the punctured cemetery with their coffins.

Originally, when I was buried, Blue Bell was supposed to continue to speak her words in remembrance.

Bluebell said she didn’t know how to do it, and she wasn’t in a condition to do it.

Watching Irten being buried, Blue Bell gently leaned her head on my shoulder.

“…Now cover it with soil and send Marquis Irten to a comfortable place. The Marquis Irten I know must have reached the god Zephyrus.”

Shoot ah-

As the rain fell, Marquis Irten was buried along with the coffin by the coachmen.

Maybe it was sad not to be able to see his face again.

“Heh, heh… Dad…”

With the members of the mansion, Bluebell wept sadly.

To comfort Bluebell, I wrapped my arms around her shoulders.

“You have to overcome it, Lady Bluebell.”

Today’s event will drastically change the situation in the empire and signal the start of the novel.

And, somehow, Blue Bell had to overcome this depression and get out of her villainess.

***

Morning is refreshing.

The light warms the body and invigorates the whole body.

Lunch is fun.

He makes fun of the people in the mansion and spends time walking around the flower garden.

Except for studying, it’s a really fun time.

Supper is disappointing.

The fun time is over, and you have to go to sleep in a dark place.

Why do people need to sleep?

I can’t understand it at all, but I fall asleep with all kinds of thoughts.

Dawn is gloomy.

Thought bites the tail of the thought and does not let go.

It bothers me like I can’t forget even if I try to forget.

“Dad…Dad…Did he like me…? He would have loved me even if I didn’t listen…?”

Of course Dad loves me.

I know.

But along with the overwhelming regret, I doubt myself.

“If I knew my dad was going to die, he would be a good listener… I would have been a good listener later…”

It’s all the doctor’s fault for not treating my father.

“No, it’s my fault for not noticing that Daddy was sick.”

If I had studied hard.

If you were a genius like Damian, you could have fixed your dad.

“Oh, no. I can’t study anyway. I can’t do it anyway.”

Dawn makes me true.

However, that fact drowns me in the sea and makes me unable to breathe.

“Haa… My mom must feel this way too… Because my dad said I look like my mom.”

My mom used to be active too.

Isn’t it because of this pain that I can’t come out of the room?

I seem to understand a little, but I don’t understand.

“No. Stop thinking, Bluebell. Go to sleep…”

Forget today’s work.

No one comes to Dad’s funeral, and Dad forgets to close his eyes and enter the coffin.

Forget it.

I don’t feel like dying.

“Haa… Damian… If you have Damian… Haa… Wouldn’t you feel like this…?”

I can’t breathe, and my chest feels stuffy as if I’m about to die.

I opened the door with a light coat draped over my shoulders and holding a lantern.

“Someone… haa… I need someone to talk to…”

Late dawn.

I left my room to live in pain.

***

I have a mysterious ability.

It’s a very trivial skill, but it’s an ability that no one else has.

‘This is a dream.’

A lucid dream.

It is the ability to distinguish dreams from reality.

It’s a very useless ability, but regardless of my previous life, this ability was still maintained in this world.

‘What is your dream today?’

Dreams don’t show you exactly.

Mix content or make it unclear.

Today’s dream was closer to the latter.

‘This happened a long time ago.’

Around the time you went to university?

It’s not clear, but my friend smokes and talks with me.

‘Whoa, what do you think of counseling?’

In my dream, I answered with candy.

‘To empathize with and heal emotions with the heart.’

What I was actually biting on was a cigarette.

Anyway.

My friend said cynically to my answer.

‘Idiot, that would be caressing, not counseling. Real counseling is calculating the other person’s feelings and suggesting a solution.’

I didn’t actually say caress.

And now that I think about it, I am not who I am in my dreams.

I prefer to smoke.

‘For example, there are movie villains, right? If you look, there is a reason for everything you do. The reasons vary depending on the past, innate temperament, and genetic character.’

‘So what do you want to talk about?’

‘If you have a broken machine, don’t you want to fix it? I want to fix Machines that are still and broken are a bit… ‘

I feel sorry for you.

Should I just say that I automatically sympathize with you?

In my dream, I talk unnecessarily and honestly.

Because of that.

‘Where is the doctor who feels sorry for his patients? You quack.’

My reputation goes downhill, whether it’s a university or a hospital.

How far is this dream true?

The moment you try to concentrate in your dream to determine him.

-I’m in, Damian.

I woke up from my dream with Blue Bell’s voice.

***

I asked lying on the bed in a daze.

“…What are you doing here at this hour?”

“I just couldn’t sleep.”

Pulsuk-

Saying that, Bluebell sat down on my bed.

Even if you didn’t look closely, her breathing was disturbed.

My body was also trembling slightly.

‘I can’t sleep because of today’s work.’

It deserves it.

It was only natural that a funeral with a strange atmosphere like today would have a negative impact.

There must be a reason why I had nightmares.

“For now, let’s sit down and talk.”

“…What are you talking about?”

A wary bluebell.

I smiled and said lightly.

“It’s just a normal story. Something to have fun with.”

“I like it! Then I’ll start with you!”

I’m finally back with the guy I used to know.

Bluebell relaxed his guard and shouted as usual.

“I had fun! It happened before you came! I was bored and playing cards with one of the maids? But, the butler came and scolded me!”

Wait.

“What kind of card game did you play, the butler comes and scolds you?”

“It’s just that the losers decided to take off their clothes one by one! Of course I never lost.”

“…You seem to be good at playing cards.”

Suspicious.

Maybe he said ‘I didn’t lose, try again’ after losing the game.

I have reasonable doubts.

“Sure! I’m so good at playing cards! So I decided to go to the casino later!”

“Because it’s fun to go?”

“That’s right, when it comes to pranking people or having fun, nothing comes to mind! It’s full of funny thoughts!”

Bluebell didn’t tickle to see if he was excited and talked about it in a fun way.

‘That’s absolutely right. The symptoms are all right.’

People with depression focus on pleasure to get rid of depression.

The reason why bluebells, which are born with depression, afflict people.

It was to hide her own loneliness and depression.

Seeing the psychological state of Blue Bell described in her novel right in front of her eyes made me feel like I knew more about who she was.

It felt like getting closer.

“Young Ae’s story is interesting.”

“Isn’t it? What a fun person I am! Thank you for being my teacher!”

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“No, that’s a little…”

Isn’t it hard to think of gratitude?

That moment.

“Why don’t you like it? Hate me?”

Bluebell suddenly changed his attitude.

She began to stare at me with her blue eyes.

“Wouldn’t it be nice to be my teacher?”

I’ll turn around.

I calmly responded to Bluebell’s expression while hiding my embarrassment.

“No, I never said no to-“

“Damn you. Damian, you just said you hate me. You mean the same thing! Am I wrong?!”

The mind is unstable.

I can’t say I’m crazy about Bluebell though.

The best thing I can do is one.

“I thought the word thank you was more appropriate than thank you…”

“Are you kidding me right now?”

That’s right.

This is a pun.

However, this kind of pun is excellent for evoking the atmosphere.

“As expected, the young lady is smart. She’s smarter than I thought.”

“…Really? Am I smart?”

If it’s a simple bluebell, it’s even more effective.

Bluebell poked her head at me and laughed.

“He’s smart. Pat him on the head. It’s a compliment.”

“Yes, well done, very commendable.”

“As expected, being with you is fun. Let’s talk until I sleep!”

Damn it.

A teacher whose basic rights are not guaranteed.

However, all I could do was shed tears in my heart.

“So you know! What did I do in the mansion…”

So Bluebell lay on my bed and chattered until she was satisfied, then closed her eyes and went to sleep.

It was the time the sun was rising outside the window.

‘… I do not know.’

The desire for sleep is the highest desire by my standards.

I lay down next to Bluebell and closed her eyes.

“I… Can’t throw it away…”

Bluebell muttered and kept clinging to my body.

Anyway, it seemed like a good place to sleep today.

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