When A Ghoul Falls In Love

My mother doesn’t show any reaction. She must have guessed that I took someone’s help. “Tell me everything.”

“It’s a student in my class.” I bend down my head and stare at the floor. “He found me in the maze and helped me get out of it.”

“Did you thank him or ask him to get you out of Nether?” My mother inquires with a soft voice.

Did I thank Killian? I can’t recall anything like that. “He asked me to become his friend. So, I accepted his friendship. He didn’t ask for anything else. Also, Killian said that he was visiting his home in the fae world.”

“What does he look like?” She probes further. “Does he have dark hair?”

“Yes.” I wonder what it’s about. “Killian has dark hair and pale skin.”

“He must be from the Unseelie court, or he’s a wilding.” My mother inhales sharply. “Being a friend with any fae isn’t good, especially someone from the Unseelie court.”

“Mother, everything that you say is going over my head.” And she’s scaring me. I wipe my sweaty palms on my thighs. “Is it that bad?”

“He might be a changeling,” She murmurs. “It’s better if he’s a changeling.”

What is a changeling? Is she my mother? I can’t understand her anymore.

“So,” My mother raises her chin and utters, “You are pregnant with Baek Joon Woo’s child.”

“Mom, what is a changeling?” I avoid her eyes. We can talk about my pregnancy later. “I am curious about the fae realm. You should tell me more about it.”

“We can talk about that later.” She tilts her head and narrows her eyes. “Nell, what have you decided about your pregnancy?”

What kind of question is that? Is she testing me? I meet her eyes. “Mom, I want to keep my child.”

“You can’t.” She shakes her head in disapproval. “You are too young for a child. I don’t want you to live a life like mine. I will take you to the hospital tomorrow. I hope it’s not too late to get an abortion.”

My blood turns cold. I didn’t expect this. “Mother, you also kept me. Why can’t I keep my baby? I will raise my child in the same way you raised me.”

“I was an idiot.” She clicks her tongue. “I started regretting it later. If I didn’t have you, I could have gone to college and studied hard to become a better person with a career. Did you know what kind of things I heard? Being a single parent changes you. I also regret loving your father, who left me without a word. I thought that I deserved a goodbye; however, I didn’t even get that. My life changed forever. What do you think I am? My hands are calloused from working for years, and I couldn’t enjoy anything when I was young. When others were going to college and living their lives, I was stuck with you.”

I stare hard at her. So, she regretted giving birth to me. I should have known.

“There are times when I wished that I should have gotten an abortion.” She fists her hands. “You have to deal with society while you work and raise your child. I am sure that you believe in Baek Joon Woo, but he’s young and naive. His love will go dry when both of you face the real world, which is a lot harsher than you can imagine. None of you is prepared for it, and your child will also suffer. Did you not suffer because I couldn’t give you everything that a child should have received? You can’t even eat meat now.”

She seems like a stranger to me.

“I believe that he also wants to raise the child with you.” She lets out an exasperated sigh. “Even if I help you till the child is born, you and Baek Joon Woo have to take care of a person. A living being. None of you is an a.d.u.l.t. Becoming parents when you don’t even know how to take care of yourself? Do you know what will happen? He will start hating you because he will be holding back from the life he could have. You also have magic. How do you manage everything? I want you to go to college and become a capable person before you decide to have a baby.”

I know what she’s saying. But it sounds crazy to me. “Mom, I am not getting an abortion.”

“I didn’t expect it to be easy.” My mother stands up. “One way or another, the child won’t be with you. I have the means to make it disappear even if you don’t get an abortion. I won’t let you live the same kind of life that I did. You are my only child.”

The last few words sound threatening. It reminds me of the fact that I killed her second child. My mother knows more about the invisible world than I do.

Her eyes are determined and clear: she will get rid of my child.

“Do you still hate me for that?” I scream at her. “Is that why you are doing this?”

“You can think whatever you want.” My mother steps toward the door. “I don’t expect you to understand me anyway. You are his child, after all.”

She slams the door and leaves.

Does my mother hate me? If she hates me for being Zach’s child, then why did she keep me?

She blames it on being young. My mother regrets giving birth to me.

I lie down on the bed and let my tears soak my pillow soak. I hate her. How could she do this to me? If this is an act of revenge because of that accident, that’s even more filthy. Baek Joon Woo isn’t like my father. He’s not shady. Why is she comparing me with her? Baek Joon Woo wants to marry me.

He won’t change as she said. I believe in him and our love.

I have to do something. Should I run away from home?