When A Ghoul Falls In Love

It’s been a while since I woke up. I should get out of bed. I turn to my right, feeling too lazy to do that. I don’t want to get out of my room. Talking to Eli have drained all of my energy. Is he still outside? I don’t hear any noise though. I don’t think that I will last ten minutes with that man if I see him again. He talks so much. That exasperating man is a nightmare for me. Why did I allow him to stay? How will I handle living in the same house with him?

“You should be afraid of letting a man stay in your house.” The devil smacks the back of my head with his paw. “What if –”

“Then, let it be…” I stare at the wall. If something like that happens, it would only be a moment of l.u.s.t and madness. If I close my eyes, it will be over in a minute. I glance at the bandage on my wrist. Though he doesn’t seem like that kind of person, I don’t like him at all.

“You don’t have any reason to like him.” The devil sighs. “He ruined your plans. You would have died for sure.”

“Now, I think that slashing my wrist was a bad idea.” I think that I need to clean my bathroom. “I shouldn’t even leave my body behind. If I jump into the ocean, fishes will eat me, right? Nobody will ever find my body. That way, I don’t have to worry about someone finding my body.”

If I had known that Eli was going to find me like that, I would have never done it. I would have used all the money to go on a cruise. The police would have labelled me as the culprit for sure. It wouldn’t matter though. The dead don’t care about what the livings talk about them. They are too dead to care, right? I don’t think that there’s life after death.

“Because that would be another nightmare for you.” The devil mutters, “Imagine wandering as a ghost for eternity. Doesn’t your religion say that suicide is also a sin? People who commit suicide never ends up in heaven.”

“I am going to hell.” This planet is dying anyway. Right at this moment, someone might be choking someone. Somewhere, people are dying of starvation or getting shot by the army of an enemy nation who say that they are doing it in the name of peace. How many incidents actually make it to the news channel? Even if we hear about the atrocities that are being committed in the world right now, how many of us would take a step ahead and shout that it’s wrong? Then, even if we do it, how many of us can actually stop those atrocities? We might scream and scream. Then, who is listening and who is stopping it? Who can put the world on the right track? Then, what is the right thing? Everyone’s version is different.

Humans are cruel creatures. They can be easily fooled too. If you make them think that they have the power to change anything at any time, they will sleep with a smile on their face. Once that happens, they are nothing but powerless puppets of the humans standing behind the scene.

“If there’s a life after death” The cat’s whiskers brush against my ear. “Would you look for him in hell?”

Would he be in hell?

“I think so,” He purrs. “Didn’t he betray you? I don’t think that he will be in heaven.”

“He might be reincarnated.” If I drown in the ocean, how long it would take before I die for certainty?

“Kekeke! Who said that she was over it?” The cat rolls on his back beside me. “If you were over it, would you still care if he was reincarnated or not?”

“I am over it.” Time can’t heal everything. You just get used to it. The pain becomes a part of you and then, it eats you slowly until nothing is left. “I am over it, Devil.”

“Keep telling yourself that.” The cat chuckles. “It might become a reality someday.”

I push it away. I wish I could kick this cat out of my house. But it’s hard to get rid of the figment of my imagination or broken mind. I don’t like to think about what I have. Eli wasn’t surprised when I told him that I could see and hear things. Why would he be interested in a woman who was not sane? He’s handsome and tall. He is a well-known surgeon too. He looks younger than his age. He can easily get a young, pretty and cheerful girl.

In my reflection, I see a woman with dark circles around her hazel eyes, dull skin that doesn’t get the sun much, and rough long pale hair. He said that his heart was stolen by a woman who smiles when she reads. Did I do that for real? How did I look like when I smiled? I try to smile. It looks so awkward. Smiling isn’t my thing.

The cat cackles. “Did you believe his words for real? You never learn, do you? What do you have? You can’t give him anything. Even your body is rotten.”

The devil is right though. I let out a sigh. He might be right half of the time, but I don’t like it anyway. I should go to the bank. I open the door slightly and peek. I don’t see Eli outside. He must have gone out. If he changed his mind about staying here, that’s even better.

“Something is not right.” The floor doesn’t have a speck of dust. Everything seems to be at its proper place. “Did I book a cleaning service recently?”

Nobody answers me. The cat seems to be gone again. I go to the bathroom. There’s not a drop of blood on the bathroom’s floor. Even the bathtub is squeaky clean. This is so strange. Is this my house? I always cleaned the house once a week. According to the schedule, I was supposed to do it yesterday. I am sure that I didn’t do it. I spent the day in hospital. When I came back last night, it wasn’t this clean at all. I might be little crazy, but hallucinating a clean house is too much. I brush my teeth and frown at the mirror. The door?

I walk out of the bathroom. The door is intact. Wasn’t it broken by Eli? Did I hallucinate it all? It was too unreal anyway. I should drink have some coffee before I go out.

“Now, what’s this?” I take the note on the lid of the bowl.

[Today, I made beef stew for the prettiest woman in the world. Will she like it? If she doesn’t like it, I promise that I will do better next time. Will she welcome me with a smile or a frown when I come back?]

Did he write a note or a diary? Didn’t I tell him to take care of himself if he’s going to live here? I lift the lid of the bowl and inhale the delicious aroma of the stew. It’s still warm. He must have left only a little while ago.

“He can cook this, but he can’t cook a simple omelette.” I put back the lid on the bowl. Who is he trying to impress by cleaning my house and cooking for me? I don’t want a housewife.

And I don’t eat meat.