38 – #09. A sinner who cannot be saved (2)

Cecilia smiled.

Stop using honorifics now and look innocent like a child, but gently.

“If Seo hates you, I will love you even more.”

Her appearance was truly worthy of being called a saint.

The expression of a woman who will embrace everything gently. Even so, she did not hide her naivety, and I felt that she was smiling like a child.

“I will hold her hand. If Seo-nim can’t find meaning in her abilities, I will convey the meaning, and if Seo-nim is sad, I’ll cry with her.”

I wanted to be loved before.

Is it because I lost my parents early and lived alone in modern times? I didn’t know that, but I wanted to be acknowledged by someone because of my lack of affection, and I hoped that they would comfort me by saying it was okay.

He said he lived hard.

You are fine.

There was a time when I wished for something like that.

“If Seo cannot find his own value, help me. I am still weak, stupid, and lacking in many corners. So while Seo helps me, he lives a busy life with no time to think negative thoughts. Stay with me like that forever.”

It was definitely something I had wanted for a long time.

The voice of someone who needs me, acknowledges the significance of my existence, and wants me.

“I don’t know about anyone else, but I need Seo.”

If we had had this conversation a little earlier, how would it have been different?

I don’t know.

“Then choose me. Please choose a future for us to move forward together.”

The person you wanted to hear, the person you wanted to say.

That was definitely a heartbreaking statement.

But not now.

“Wrong.”

“…… Uh?”

It’s too late.

There were too many crosses and more sins to seek love purely. Original sin is irreversible and should not be ignored.

“You said you hate sinners. Filled with desire, you must exterminate those who only know you.”

Then you and I cannot be together.

Because for me to stand by your side and help you would be deceiving your will.

“Then you shouldn’t have reached out to me.”

That would be the case too.

“Because I am the first sinner you need to dispose of.”

Conversation is meaningless.

I can’t live up to Cecilia’s ideal. I’m not in a position to do that, and I have no intention of doing so. No matter how much she needs me.

“Seo Seo. Why are you saying that?”

“Here is a sinner you cannot save.”

He is a sinner who cannot be saved and who should not be.

She denied her other people’s greed, and I am a sinner who messed with everything because of that greed. The subject who trampled on the sincerity of many people with an absurd curse could not handle it and ran away.

From nob le mt l dot com

Do not extend your hand to a sinner who cannot be saved.

“Ceciliaaa!!”

He raised his sword.

I had no conversations with Cecilia anymore, and I didn’t want to shake her heart anymore. What I want is atonement, not salvation.

“Why!!”

My body was thrown and I fell to the ground.

I tried to get up again, but the shock wave felt from the left side pushed my body, and when I tried to get up again, I fell down again with a big shock from the right side this time.

“Why, why, why!! Seo-sama, why are you so stubborn!?”

“…… Stubborn, you must be the one.”

“You stubborn!!”

Light shooting from the front.

I raised my sword and blocked it with my side, but my body was pushed back. The bombardment barely stopped without letting go of the sword as it dragged across the ground.

But this can’t be the end.

“Seo always talks about himself! Why don’t you listen to me, to us!?”

My body floated in the air.

No, it floated up as it exploded under my feet.

“Keuugh!!”

“I don’t know! I don’t know!!”

Left, right.

Caught in a series of explosions in the air, he rolled across the ground.

Unseen attacks come one after another.

Is this also the power of the Holy Law? I couldn’t feel it, so I raised my sword according to my body’s instinct to move as much as possible to withstand the explosion and blocked the light that was continuously fired.

My arms were shaking.

If you allow that one time properly, it is a fatal wound.

It is clear that Cecilia attacked this far, since she must have the confidence to heal her wounds. They must be planning on arresting me, who has passed out or is unable to fight, and drags me to the cathedral.

From nob le mt l dot com

Don’t fall down.

If you allow it properly even once, it’s over.

“I said I love you.”

“Quit!!”

Left, next left.

I crouched down as much as I could under the influence of the successive explosions and blocked them with my sword.

“Why is Seo a sinner? Why are you so hard on yourself?”

“…… All of your emotions….”

“I’m tired of the word fake!!”

With her angry cry, the projected light was knocked out.

The sword that had been built to block a series of attacks was already in tatters, and the shaft was also distorted and bent. But more than that, it seemed like my body would reach its limit first.

She was already screaming from her entire body.

Every time I moved, my joints caused pain with a snapping sensation, and my muscles were so swollen that they couldn’t be pulled tight and turned red.

My head feels like it’s going to explode.

“Seo did a good job. We all had a good time in that imperial palace.”

“…… Really enjoy it, I hope.”

Out of breath, I can’t speak.

It was only when I put my feet firmly on the ground that I could barely look ahead.

“Otherwise, Ana would not have died.”

My first love that I met for the first time.

A peddler who took care of me without knowing anything, and a woman who supported me in various ways. She was a woman who taught me many things while being by my side, and also gave me love.

She eventually fell from the top of the castle wall and died.

Even though I resent you, I love you.

So her head exploded and she died.

Ana wanted to be my first and last.

I didn’t know that, and when I found out, it was already too late.

“This curse ruined everything.”

“No. Mr. Seo, that’s not it.”

“What’s wrong!!”

If it wasn’t really, why did Ana die?

Why did she choose her own death and why did she look at me like that?

“Here is the sinner you hate more than anyone else.”

“Seo-nim, that’s not the case. So please, don’t say that.”

Her Cecilia ignored her words and walked towards her.

She discarded the sword, feeling that it was already dented and would no longer be able to function, and raised her fist instead.

“My greed ruined everything. I want love, I forcibly tied you up. I just controlled your emotions to satisfy my baser desires.”

So, I was thinking of atonement.

If Neira told me to move toward the future, I set that future as atonement. Even if you don’t know how long it will take, and you don’t know how to pay for it in full.

“So get out of there.”

“…… I didn’t know.”

Cecilia approached me with a blank expression.

“Seo-nim judged us that way, even himself.”

“It’s all lies. The source I ruined. Everything was wrong The desire to be loved, the desire to be recognized has crushed everything.”

Certainly Cecilia, your feelings were included in that.

“If you would rather punish me, I would gladly accept it, but I will decline the helping hand.”

“…… That’s why you hate yourself so much.”

My atonement and your salvation cannot coexist.

It was the kind of thing that could only draw parallel lines forever, never to cross.

* * *

Cecilia stared blankly at him.

She hadn’t even dreamed of what he was thinking.

While he was in the imperial palace, he had a light attitude and behavior, but he was a man who knew more than that. He was a man who knew how to be considerate of others, and at least he was not someone who took others lightly.

She thought of him as a positive looking person.

Of course, he had to have a somewhat lack of confidence, such as always hanging his head around, but I didn’t know that this kind of self-hatred would roam underneath.

“We, at least I never thought so.”

“Even that heart, everything was twisted by this curse.”

He said pathetically.

He said it was wrong that he was greedy and talked about being a harem. I liked how women liked him, and that the love was so sweet.

“That was a mistake.”

Cecilia tried hard to get her words out, but the jumbled thoughts inside her couldn’t be put into words.

Sad feelings, complicated feelings, stuffy feelings.

They got jumbled up.

“Ah.”

“If you don’t want to punish this criminal, get out of there.”

Seo has already prepared to fight.

Even if she had to swing her fist at the person she was supposed to atone for, she had to avoid going to war with her on the continent here.

Her salvation and his atonement had completely different directions.

“Yes, I see.”

Cecilia barely uttered a single word.

She could only understand a little of what she hadn’t been able to understand.

After Ana’s suicide, he opened up about his fascination with gibberish. He was a time when there were people who were embarrassed and there were people who did not understand.

He left, begging for the last time to forget all traces of him.

At first, he thought that because of his ability, he couldn’t trust other people’s feelings.

Because of her ability to be charmed, she judged that Cecilia could not trust her own, and even that of others, that she left.

That wasn’t it.

What was underlying that man was not that simple.

“Why don’t you know?”

Stupid man.

Seo was much more stupid than she thought.

“Because he coveted a woman and wanted love? If so, why did Seo go all the way to the north to stop that vampire?”

He went north after hearing that many people were dying at the hands of the True Vampire Neira. He pushed everyone who tried to dissuade him, and headed there smiling as calmly as possible.

He said that he would be able to try something.

“Then why did you stand in the face of that tyrant?”

Before meeting Seo, the empress of the Baja Empire was nothing more than a tyrant.

Even while walking down the street, if there is someone who annoys me, I will kill it.

I heard that no matter who the opponent was, if she had something she coveted, she was a selfish woman who would have no right to take it away, and that was certainly the case the day he first met the empress.

“Why did I meet you?”

Cecilia herself did the same.

She didn’t know how to truly love someone.

Outward love and affection. She was just a puppet, doing what someone taught her to do.

He said it every time.

I’ll try my best.

“Liar.”

“…… I just wanted to be acknowledged.”

“Seo Seo. I know that? Lying is one of the sins God forbid.”

I never thought she would distort her evaluation of herself like this.

Cecilia shook her head at Seo, who was still looking at her with her quivering eyes. Now weighed down by his guilt, he judged that he was faking even his feelings.

“…… I can’t. Seo is just next to me.”

“Cecilia.”

She had no intention of listening to further objections.

It is meaningless to say the truth to such a twisted and twisted man.

“Just save the world with me.”

“No.”

“In the hands of the empress, in the hands of demons, in the hands of sinners. We save this world from the vulgar things that paint this pure white world black.”

So Cecilia smiled brightly.

Because she judged that his self-reproach and guilt could be erased with good deeds.

“If you save the world and make it peaceful like that, Seo will surely be able to see herself with different eyes. Huh! I think that’s right.”

She decided not to listen to Seo’s words anymore.

He is a man who blames himself even while distorting himself.

Rather than listening to such a man, she thought it was right to paint over with her own color. He promised that if a man could not find his own worth, he would give it to himself.

“So, collapse here.”

Then let’s be reborn.

Cecilia held out her hand with a hearty smile.

A set of gender laws.

She stretches out her hand, hoping that God will save that foolish, poor man.

“I have to go. We must atone for the future by moving forward.”

“Let’s do that atonement by my side. Huh?”

She shot her voice as she spoke as if to soothe her child.

Not enough to kill.

However, he has already lost his weapon and has lost the means to fight back. After curing it with the Holy Law, it was enough to keep it by your side and take care of it.

I’m not going to let this man go.

She was determined to do so, and she also wanted to reach out to help her. There’s no one to interfere with, and it’s enough to slowly heal him and be his companion.

She thought so.

Until the light of the Holy Law was scattered by a weapon flying from far away.

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