Exp And Other Drugs

"Oh.. of course, then shall we start?" Yail Voct realized that The green dragon probably told him to hurry up and learn our tribes inheritance as a follower of Tiamat.

"Sure" Shortly after Intalru and Yail Voct walked out into the forest to the South of the cave. After breaking through the wood line a dismally fetid swamp came into view. The only sign of life you can find here are the mosquitoes buzzing and the occasional frog croaking.

Making their way deeper was only possible with the aid of a small raft Intalru willed into existence using the odd trees and vines spread through out the marsh. Yail Voct only nodded her head and boarded the raft pointing which way they must go. She remained extremely quiet since they got to the swamp because she knew what laid next..

"Before we get there you should hear something.. the last of our race to survive the inheritance has died long long ago and none have been able to possess it since. Are you sure you want this?"

what the.. wait why are you acting like I'm about to die? "umm Brood keeper what am I going to be doing?" "First the snake, second is the mushroom, then lastly the toad. Please be careful and remain brave, fear is the most vile poison you can have right now.."

After Yail Voct spoke her piece she pulled them on to one of the many marsh islands that are barely visible in the mist, this one was a small perfectly round island maybe 20 foot in diameter has a three foot wide hole in the ground.. After I step from the raft I turned to help the old 'Skink' step off as well but "hngh" splash! I could hear the "Kind one" grunt as she pushed herself and the raft to safety .. "Use all the caution you have Oh 'Hero' BUT SHOW NO FEAR!!!!"

..... That would have been a reference to something back on earth .... While this thought passed through my mind I turned back to the hole and came face to face with a massive green snake. If looks could kill I would be dead right now.. It felt as if only a casual glance from those baleful pitch black eyes would be enough to wipe me from the face of this planet. But for some reason I'm getting mean mugged.. eyebrow and all!!! After staring at each other for a few minutes the snake slowly backed into the hole in the ground.

As the snake backed away Intalru was able to notice a few more details about his new 'acquaintance'. It appears to be a giant Emerald colored death adder each of the bands running down the massive body a different shade of green. But more importantly it never fully left the hole.

Intalru walked over to the edge of the hole and tried looking in only to see nothing but pitch black darkness.. "Oh Mr snake am I supposed to fight you? no one told me anything yet.. really I just got kicked off the boat by that mean old lady!"

Yail Voct heard everything Intalru said and almost wished the snake would decide to eat him and end her troubles.. it's not like they can blame her if he dies because of their tests right?

As Intalru waited for an answer by the hole he tried to spread is Mana into the darkness but was surprised to find he couldn't get past the shadow. After waiting another moment Intalru spoke up again. "I know you can understand me.. we share a teacher so doesn't that make us associates of sorts?"

A strangely familiar voice replies from the hole "F*ck you and your Mother f*ck*ng flying lizard's *ss of a teacher!" .... that was not the reaction I was expecting from the one Dennis called the best student he had before me? did I get set up?

"Umm the green dragon told me you're his best student?" I'm not gonna say that he said I was better than him right now since he could easily one shot me..

"That Lying b*st*rd F*ck*ng tricked me!!" The snake lifted it's head out of the hole and towered over Intalru easily reaching 30ft and still not completely out yet.. Once again the massive green adder was snarling in my face and I finally know who he sounds like, It's Joe pesci!!!! seriously Asgorath are you messing with me?

"Why the F*ck you standing there like a slack jawed idiot?" ... I have so many things I wish I could ask him right now, but that is for later.

"Why do you hate him? he helped me learn the druidic arts and it seems like he didn't lie to me?.." Intalru did remember how the dragon insisted on him over powering the plants and focusing on the lethal aspects and thought it was quite odd.. Lizard senses tingling

"Let me ask you something, and think reeeaaaallly f*ck*ng hard before you answer. Did he ever say 'You have green dragon blood in your veins' you don't need to worry about blank? .... "All the time.." Joe starts laughing like a mad man "You're definitely an associate of mine!! he F*ck*d you over every time he said that.. He only says that when you ask him something he doesn't want you to 'Really' know..."

"So what did he do to you?" Intalru asked, The giant snake looked around intently "Ok we can talk come inside.." then disappeared in the hole instantly "Should I go head or feet first?" Intalru shouted after the snake. "Pick your poison kid It's a bumpy ride either way.."

"Thanks..." Intalru says before he jumps in feet first with his head covered. The moment he passed through the darkness he was suddenly falling from the sky in a desert. While approaching the what he hoped was soft sand yet regretfully knew that at this height it was going to hurt!

Trying to keep from dying Intalru bent his knees and used his right arm to shield his head and his left arm was positioned to help him roll when he lands. Just before he hit the ground he shift his weight to roll right when landing, only to sink through the sand the moment he touches it..

After Intalru was completely submerged in the sand he was once again falling.. This time into a large ocean wider than he can see with something rather large swimming through it. "How many times am I gonna warp?" Intalru shouted Calmly as his decent felt like it was accelerating.

Suddenly the creature breached the surface and stared at him.. That's a big *ss crocodile! After locking eyes briefly the crocodile opened it's mouth wide that's the hole? as Intalru continued growing closer to the gapping maw of the ocean he began shifting his weight and leaning forward.

As the creature swallowed him whole the world shifted again.. This time there was hardly any light in the sky save the few stars shining in the distance, Luckily though he could still see because there was plenty of light coming from the lava below him!! It was getting hotter as he grew closer and by the time he hit the surface his scales felt like they were going to melt! Just before hitting the bubbling mass of molten rock Intalru closed his drying eyes to keep them from melting out of their scaly sockets.

A bone piercing chill stabbed into his body mercilessly Forcing his clamped shut eyes to fly back open in shock. At first he thought he went blind from the heat since all that could be seen was a blinding whiteness, only after he managed to get his nearly frozen arm to bend forward did he realize he was falling through a snow storm. Upon breaching the bottom layer of the blizzard Intalru was encased in a layer of ice that stopped just shy of his neck, so he could behold a sea of frozen spikes below him... "Seriously!"

This continued for hours some world's seemed to be exact replicas of others and a few of them were a little more.. involved than others. He fell into a strange forest of trees and right onto a web in front of a giant Spider. The spider ran over instantly and begun wrapping Intalru in it's web.

Then he landed.. Gently and feet first in an open field. But no Massive Joe snake in sight? As Intalru began looking around for Joe the snake in question spoke up. "You blind or something?" Intalru turned in the direction of his voice but still nothing but grass.. "Down here dumb *ss.." looking down Intalru was surprised to see that Joe had shrunk to about a foot in length.. "What happened to.." NOTHING F*CK*NG HAPPENED!!!"

Ok size issues, got it. "sorry.. So why do you hate the green dragon?" "Well as you can see I'm a basilisk.." "Okay?" The little green snake begins mean mugging me again.. seriously if looks could ki... "oh.." "Aaand the last horse finishes the line... That prick told me I could become capable of killing a God with a single bite but I had to remain under his tutelage for a century and give him a gift... I assumed he wanted one of the rare elemental stones that I horded So I signed the devils contract.."

"But he took your ability to kill with a stare instead?" "AND HE DOESN'T EVEN F*CK*NG USE IT!!!!" The little green snake shouted so loud the world shook beneath my feet.. I guess I would be pretty upset if someone stole my coke just to use it as a display piece.

"Did he at least give you the ability to kill a god?" Intalru asked trying to calm the basilisk down before the world fell apart. "Depends on the god.." ... I don't quite know how to respond to that... the two of us stare at each other in silence before Joe speaks up.

"If I said I could kill the gods of death with but a drop of my venom would you believe me?" "Ma.." "IF I Claimed that the spider queen Lolth herself fears the fangs in my possession would you not doubt my sanity?" "We.."

"IF I F*CK*NG SWORE TO THE D*MN*D HEAVENS ABOVE THAT I ALONE CAN KILL ANY AND ALL OF THOSE PATHETIC B*TCH*ES THAT DARE TO BOAST OF BEING THE ONE TRUE GOD OF POISON AND VENOM... would you run before the lightning struck?"

I thought he was asking me a question at first but every time I opened my mouth to answer he would start talking again... He just wanted to monologue for a bit.. its pretty melodramatic and a little cringe worthy but I think I know why he's so upset....

"What would happen if you bit me?" Intalru asked the little green snake ... "You would never have to worry about being poisoned or sick ever again.." Joe said quietly before a strange smile spread across his face... " He.. uh He.. turned you into a healer slave for a century didn't he?" Suddenly my lizard senses started screaming!

..... Joe smiled quietly for a moment before taking a large breath of air in, then he began releasing a tirade of profanity and screaming so loud that my tail almost fell off in fear..

After blowing his top one last time the adder slowed his breathing and looked towards me "I'm sure you're just as f*ck*d as I am bud.. You just don't know it yet.." After Joe delivered this ominous prediction about my future he bit me on the ankle! "AAGGH!!"

"I didn't say it was pleasant.. Just head to the big tree after you wake up, oh and enjoy your trip." Joe's words barely registered in my ears as I fell to the ground feeling like my brain was on fire and lightning was coursing through my veins!