Long Past Dawn

Batman pauses for a second before he replies, "A screwed up world's."

I give a dry laugh, and another tear rolls down my cheek. It's one f*cked up world huh? My voice breaks, "Why did she have to die?"

Batman gives a dry laugh, "Who knows."

I look over at Jikan's peaceful face, "What are we going to do with her? Won't superheroes dumping bodies look a bit weird, Bats?"

Batman looks me dead in the eye, I know that he probably has the power to hush anything up. But he's leaving it up to me. "What are the options?"

Batman doesn't even pause, he's thought this far ahead, even when I hadn't, "There's a grassy field about eighty miles out of the city, it's owned Wayne Enterprises and no one goes through it. It's peaceful and has no worth to Wayne Enterprises so it won't be disturbed."

I bite back tears and nod, sounds like something she would love. I look down at her body, still and unmoving, I rest my hand on her cheek, it's cold. And she'll never be warm again. "I'm sorry I broke my promise."

I whisper to her, probably the last words I'll ever say. Sorry. I hate that word so much but I don't know any others to get the message across.

"Can I be alone right now?" I ask, not looking him in the face.

Batman doesn't say anything but I hear him get up and the door beeps close behind him.

I slump down onto the bed with a sigh, I'll assume that I look like a hot mess right now. "This is so f*cked up."

I'm just a kid, I'm not supposed to be strong, I'm not supposed to be unbreakable, I'm not supposed to lose every f*cking thing that I love...

I thought that this is what I wanted but it's not, maybe it once was but not now, not anymore. Now I just want to eat ice cream on a hot summer day. Now I want to complain about homework and tests to Mom and Charlie. Now I want to learn how to drive with Charlie. Now I want Mom and Charlie to hug me and say it'll be ok. I want a normal life, not this. Anything but this. Now I just want to be a teenager, now I just want my life back.

But the sad thing is that I've gone in too deep, maybe after I had first met Batman I could have gone home and everything would be normal, but now? Now it's too late, I can cry and b*tch about it all I want but that won't change anything, I'll never be able to go back to the person I was two weeks ago and the worst part is that a small little part of me doesn't want to go back.

Man, I must be a real narcissist at this point for me to only be focusing on how bad things are for me, I look over at the various machines attached to me and then down at Jikan's still body.

I move the single strand of hair that's fallen into her face, I'm never going to forgive the people who did this to her and who knows how many others. I take my hand away from her face and clench it to calm my anger.

I suddenly remember something mom told me from a long time ago, a broken heart is better than a broken neck. I never really understood what she meant until now, and right now it seems I have the best of both worlds. I think as I look down at the heavy medical gauze wrapped around me.

I swallow as I feel my emotions threatening to overwhelm me and my eyes prickle with tears. I breathe in through my nose and out through my mouth in an attempt to calm myself down.

I throw my fist down into the bed to release some of my anger, the bed is soft enough that my fist just bounces right back up without any pain, but for once I want the physical pain just so I don't have to put up with the emotional pain. The sad thing is that I'm starting to wonder which is worse, emotional pain or physical pain?

I throw my head down so that my hair is covering my face, "F*ck."

I stay like this for I don't know how long, trying not to focus on the damage done to me. They won't want me on the team if I'm broken, but then that's the thing, I've been broken all along.

They say every superhero needs a tragic backstory, I guess I have that now.

I try to swallow the growing lump in my throat and wipe away the tears but I can't, and so for right now I just let myself cry.

I curl up into a tight little ball, not letting anything in. Maybe if I don't let anything I'll never have to feel the pain of losing someone again.

After I can't cry anymore a horrible headache sets in but I guess that's just what I get for crying my eyes out.

I fall onto my back so I'm staring up at the ceiling and try not to focus on the pain in my head. I don't want to fall asleep again and if I'm to be perfectly honest I don't want to ever but I feel sleep tug at my eyelids and I slowly close them, losing to the promise of sleep.

***

I feel a warm embrace around me and am brought back to the days when mom would lie with me in bed until I was asleep, I turn around to see mom but the warm embrace vanishes and all I can see is a dark abyss ready to swallow me whole.

I panic, not wanting to be swallowed by the cold, endless dark. I run and run and run but the dark seems to wrap its dark tentacles around me and before I know it I'm swallowed by the dark with no light in sight.

I look in every direction and see nothing, I start to run but after what only feels like a few seconds I can't move my feet, I'm frozen.

I just stare ahead at the darkness and after what feels like an eternity I see shapes coming towards me, it's them.

Wonderwoman, Batman, Superman, Aquaman, Green Lantern, Martian Manhunter, Flash, Question, Black Canary and Green Arrow are all walking towards me, I almost shout for joy. They'll save me, I won't be frozen anymore.

But my prayers go unanswered, they walk straight through me and disappear into smoke right in front of me, as if to say nothing can save me.

After they're all gone tears roll down my cheeks, I'm all alone again.

I almost give up all hope until I see another shape walk out of the darkness, it's Jikan. A wave of something seems to roll over me. I don't know what it is, grief for seeing her here, or something completely different.

As Jikan walks closer the darkness seems to turn to light that's so bright I think I'll go blind.

Jikan walks up to me until she's standing right in front of me. She looks up at me and for a second I forget everything but the smile on her face right now.

I feel a tear slip from my eye and slide down my cheek, how can she smile at me like this? I might as well have killed her myself.

"Jikan-" I start to say but I'm cut off.

"It wasn't your fault." She says. Looking up at me with those clear eyes that seem to see through me. "It was never your fault."

I want to say something but Jikan doesn't give me room to interrupt, "I would never blame you, Dawn. I promise you that."

I want to say something but I can't, I want to say I'm sorry that she shouldn't have died but I can't open my mouth. "Dawn, grow up to be the person you have to be, don't let this weigh you down."

And suddenly I can speak, "Jikan I- Will I see you again?"

It's all I can do not to cry, Jikan looks at me and the smile seems softer, "Before all of this is over I promise we'll meet again. And thank you, Dawn, thank you."

I'm about to ask what she means when it feels like I'm being pulled backward, I can't focus as the force pulls me so fast everything seems to blur. But just before I blackout I see Jikan's figure change, instead of the little six-year-old that I know she looks my age or older.

Jikan's shown me what her future would be, and I thank her for it.

***

I suck in a breath, for a second I can't process anything as the dream comes crashing back to me but then I hear it. Alarms are going off.