No One Loved Me

Neither Countess Rosette nor Ayla came out to see me off.

I was debating whether or not to call the nanny, but if I said something unnecessary, it seemed like I’d end up telling behind-the-scenes jokes that were performed yesterday.

I had hoped to meet someone who would have cared for Cecilia, but all I could think about as I was about to board the carriage was hiding my disappointment.

“Lady Cecilia.”

A low voice called me.

“Did you only bring one maid?”

When I turned around, I noticed a tall man standing nearby.

He was a man who frequently did outdoor activities and flaunted his healthy and charming tan skin.

“Yes.”

I had no idea who the other person was.

“Does Count Linton not provide his wife with a  escort?”

Then I saw the carriage in which I rode. It was a large, sturdy carriage. Furthermore, I only went to my parents’ house, which is about 30 minutes away at most.

“I didn’t consider that.”

“Lady Cecilia, you are defenseless for your own safety.”

The man seemed to know Cecilia well.

“Your mother will be worried.”

If Cecilia were anyone’s concern… A sad image of a middle-aged woman came to mind.

“Oh, how about the nanny?”

I think the answer I took was right.

“Her eyes are sore, but other than that, she is fine.”

“Please take care of me.”

I wanted to provide a qualified assortment of things like this, but instead I got into the carriage and abruptly turned around.

“I’m going to call the nanny soon.”

The man gave me a puzzled look.

It was odd that Edgar Linton would call back the nanny he had sent back.

“The Count is busy, so he probably won’t notice even if there are a couple more members of the soldiers in the house.”

This alone could not satisfy his curiosity, but I abruptly got into the carriage and closed the door.

“Let’s go.”

Sarah knocked on the carriage’s roof, and it departed after a short while.

I noticed the man was still there, but I didn’t look back.

Sympathy, I hated it.

The mansion of Linton was deafeningly quiet. Nobody saw me even when I arrived.

“Shall we bring dinner to the room as usual?”

Sarah asked. I tried to say yes but then shook my head.

“No, I’m going to have dinner in the dining room.”

“…The Count won’t be here until dawn.”

Sarah said cautiously.

“I’m having trouble remembering, but can’t the Countess use the dining room without her husband?”

“No! Absolutely not!”

Sarah, who was visibly dirty, disappeared with a quick step, saying she would inform the kitchen.

“Hey there, you.”

I called a maid who was cleaning the window sill.

“Yes, Lady Cecilia.”

The maid responded to me with an attitude that was neither polite nor respectful to the hostess of this mansion.

“Find a maid and send her to my room to change my dress.”

She gave a startled blink.

“Pardon?”

“I have to change my dress, so pick a maid who doesn’t have rough hands and bring her to my room.”

For the first time giving orders, I continued to speak with a firm tone.

I wasn’t used to living in a class society, but I had no choice but to adapt if this was the reality.

It was difficult for Sarah to take off my dress.

It was better to play the eldest daughter of Count Rosette, who was boastful but arrogant, rather than to be caught whimpering in the room and wrestling with clothes.

“Oh right.”

I told the woman who was on her way to find a maid with gentle hands.

“Your job will be put at risk if you call me Lady Cecilia again.”

The woman came to a halt and bowed politely.

“Yes, Countess.”

I entered the room with a sense of satisfaction.

Cecilia’s life was not bad in comparison to my previous life. I would prefer a very comfortable life if I did not cling to her husband’s love.

I looked in the mirror and hummed a little.

Cecilia smiled, looking more relaxed than when she first saw her.

The sun began to set soon. Cecilia’s, no, my husband came home early in the evening for some reason.

It was after I had changed my dress and sat down to eat in the dining room.

Cecilia’s life was much richer than my original life, but much of it was being financed by workforces.

As the night fell, servants dressed in the same uniform placed candles throughout the house.

The table was stunning, but I couldn’t see what it was because it was so dark.

Based on my intuitions, I moved the food that looked moderately delicious to my plate.

And when Edgar walked into the dining room, he didn’t immediately recognize me.

“Have you changed the way you protest?”

It wasn’t until I heard the voice that I realized who was sitting across from me.

“I would have told you to do whatever you do quietly.”

I kept putting food in my mouth.

“I just asked you to stay out of sight.”

Even though the mansion was massive, it couldn’t help but draw attention as long as we lived in the same house.

Unless either side is determined to hide.

Cecilia must have played hide-and-seek hard.

“… Countess, would you like a dessert?”

The maid, who had been observing the atmosphere for a moment, asked in a cautious voice.

The question was whether he had heard what she said to the woman cleaning the windows or she had spelled her name correctly.

She furrowed Edgar’s eyebrows.

“Countess?

I nodded as I watched his lips twist at an angle.

“Yes.”

The maid gave her a terrified look before hearing her response and stepping back to leave the dining room.

“Countess.”

Edgar said it again, sarcastically.

“Dear Madam. Your insanity is worsening by the day. Now you’re going to pretend to be a countess in order to push a good man out of the way?”

I wiped my bare lips once more with a napkin.

Cecilia was terrified of him. It was because she loved him.

Love pushes the other to the limit and empowers you to punish yourself with your own hands.

But I had no reason to fear Edgar.

“I have accepted reality.”

“Reality?”

“I’ve made the decision that it doesn’t matter who you play with.”

I took Edgar’s tone and smile and imitated them on my face.

“Dear Count. There is nothing to worry about.”

Edgar was taken aback.

“We were formed at my father’s request. It wasn’t just a request; it was a will.”

“My father’s will was our marriage, he didn’t ask you to cherish and love me for the rest of your life.”

But Cecilia’s father would have wanted it. No, did I want it?

I didn’t know.

I understand that not all fathers are like my biological father, but my short experience made it difficult for me to believe in the father’s affection in any kind family.

Cecilia’s father, too, remarried.

Cecilia had to put up with her stepmother and half-sister not being affectionate and hurting her without realizing it.

“I was stupid, Edgar.”

I laughed softly.

“I have no right to interfere as long as the framework of marriage is maintained.”

Edgar had a puzzled expression on his face, as if he couldn’t believe my sudden change.

“I won’t ask you to believe me right now.”

Just in time, the maid brought strawberries and whipped cream for dessert.

I dipped a lot of whipped cream into the luscious fruit and took it to my mouth.

I closed my eyes and focused on the sweetness of the fresh cream on its body.

“All right.”

While I ate three fruits, Edgar remained silent and concluded:

“I’ll trust you.”

His index finger points to me.

“If you lied again, my father-in-law’s last will no longer be of any use.”

On the outside, Edgar is portrayed as the poor Count of Linton, living with his insane wife and unable to break his promise to his late father-in-law.

I wasn’t sure if it was true, but Sarah, the only person who can give me information right now, said it was.

Even if I start another protest and Edgar throws me away because he can’t take it anymore, he deserves a sympathy vote.

So he’ll be irritated by my words about not interfering with him any longer.

I got up after eating the last strawberry.

I’ve never had a meal that was as satisfying as this one. My memories are muddled because it has been so long since I tasted delicious food.

My mother prepared meals every day, but I never ate properly.

It was my fault that my mother gained weight due to stress and medication side effects.

“Don’t think about it.”

I shook my head and gave myself a familiar rebuke.

All my bad memories were buried deep inside. Only then would she be able to live like her mother without sacrificing her own life.

“Sarah.”

“Yes, Countess.”

“Take the nanny and her family from Rossette’s mansion tomorrow.”

Sarah carefully raised the question.

“Shouldn’t I first ask permission from the Count?”

“It’s okay.”

Edgar wouldn’t care. I know a man like him well.

Every time Dad came home, he was angry because someone wouldn’t let him do what he wanted.

It’s common sense that a man with a family must sacrifice some freedom, but Dad didn’t know that simple fact.

Maybe he pretended not to know.

“I’ll tell him tomorrow if you’re worried.”

Sarah was more relieved by my confirmation.

“But why are you suddenly calling her?”

“There’s no maid I can trust in this house.”

I’m not sure how old this place is, but the maid seemed to be quite useful based on what I’ve seen over the last two days.

“That isn’t to say I don’t believe you.”

“Yes. I know.”

Sarah’s face distorted for a second before she quickly raised the corners of her lips.

“I need to get some rest. I want to be alone.”

“Yes, please call me if you have any problems.”

I sat in front of the dressing table after sending Sarah out.