Re:Menma A Multiverse Harem Story

Tsume's house stood in the middle of the compound. It was had light orange tiles and cream colored walls, and contrary to what I thought, the front door didn't have a d.o.g.g.y door. I knocked on the door and waited, the sun has almost gone down so Tsume should be back by now. A few moments later I hear the childish giggles, loud barks and the sound of their steps as they play. I knock on the door again to make sure they heard it.

"Who is it?" - Child

"Menma." - Me

"Menma who?" - Child

"Uzumaki D. Menma, here to meet my future wife." - Me

"I'm not your wife!" - Child

"I didn't mean you, I don't even know who you are to even decide if I should make you my wife!" - Me

"I'm the prettiest girl in the village, I have a curvy body and I can cook good! I won't be your wife if you're ugly or weak!" - Child

This kid is pissing me off... Curvy body my a.s.s, she's so full of shit, she's more than 98% likely to be built like me... the 2% accounts for some random anime logic.

"I am the s.e.xiest man in the village, I have a chiseled body, and am stronger than most other kids, and I'm gonna have a big house soon, and money for all the toys and candy I want, and a cool playground to play with my friends and wives! You're not my friend or my wife, so you can't play!" - Me

I spout half truth bullshit and wait for the door to open. A few moments go by, still nothing, not even a peep. A short while later the girl calls out again.

"You're a liar, I don't like liars! Bleh!" - Child

"Let me in before I bite you!" - Me

"I'll bite you harder!" - Child

"I bite the hardest!!" - Me

"I bite harder than you!!!" - Child

"Bring it on then, open the door! Let's see who really bites best!!!" - Me

I was taken over by my childish impulses, the logical part of me was completely drowned out as I was driven to continue arguing with the girl.

"No, you probably have rabies!" - Child

"I don't have rabies, you have rabies, and flees!" - Me

"Shut up, I don't have flees!" - Child

"Oh, so you do have rabies? I don't want to bite you or get bit by you either, rabies girl! EVERYONE, THIS GIRL HAS RABIES!!!!" - Me

I turned around to announce to the passerby's, so I didn't have time to react to the door opening or the wildly charging girl. She lunged at me, completely red in the face from anger and embarrassment. I was tackled to the ground and mounted, it was obvious that she was an Inuzuka with the markings on her cheeks and my current location.

I realized who it was a short moment later. This was Hana, Inuzuka Hana, I forgot she even existed, Tsume's daughter... She didn't have any scenes that I could remember off the top but I vaguely remember her from a few random background scenes and the scene where Kiba got Akamaru. She was somewhere near Tsume in all the scenes I remember, but never really in the forefront, so it's not too surprising that I didn't remember her.

I may have watched, played, and read a bunch of series, but I usually had my attention diverted by the l.u.s.tful girls around me. Have you ever tried to remember a scenes that you were watching for the first time in the middle of an orgy? No? It's pretty easy to slip up on certain details when all you remember is a.s.s surrounding you. Naruto is one of 3 series that I remember most of, but my recollection is not perfect, I chose this world due to it being the better choice of the three.

Ah, back to having been mounted. I was stunned and completely pinned, she was 2-3 years older than me so her height and weight held me down almost perfectly. I could have gotten away easily by hurting her, or taken a bit longer by struggling free with my tails, but didn't. I found it cute how her nose scrunched up, and her tiny mouth was baring her pearly white fangs at me, she was even missing a single front tooth. Her hair was in a messy ponytail from playing and was wearing overalls with paw prints on it.

A normal person would not be able to handle that adorable overload. My state of admiration didn't last long though as she quickly leaned in and bit my shoulder as if trying to take a chunk of flesh from it. I could have just taken it and screamed in pain... but why should I? I yell out and plunged my teeth into her shoulder in response. This action surprised her as she screamed out.

"AHHHH! NOOO! LET GO!!!" Hana yells as she punches me while biting back harder.

I ignored her and stuck to her shoulder, I wasn't gonna take chunks, but draw a bit of blood since she made me bleed first. While I was at it I drank some of it. How can I not? The blood I consume not only allows me to take in bloodlines, but it now also helps in my body's production of RC cells for my ghoul abilities. Our bite battle didn't last long as she could no longer stand the pain.

"Stop, you win, I submit!" She cried out as she gave up.

Her shirt was a loose fit, so I was biting into her directly, I gave her injured shoulder a final lick. I didn't mean it in a creepy or s.e.x.u.a.l way, it's just that it was the most delicious blood I tasted in a long time. I felt like a bloodline adds a stronger taste and aroma to me. I still hadn't eaten the viable limbs, blood or organs from the lab and the 3 bandits that I killed so I might just be in ecstasy after abstaining so long... Hana glared at me with her face still red and punches me one last time before storming off while pouting.

"Congratulations, by clan law, you are now officially married to my daughter." Tsume's voice rang out from the doorway.

"?!?...WHAT?!?", This was completely random, "Just why the hell are we suddenly married?!?" I ask, stunned from such a quick escalation.

"Old Inuzuka law, it's not uncommon for it to happen like this so we try to keep the females from challenging males until they graduate from the academy. Anyway, the rules state that the female must be the initial aggressor within the compound, she must latch on with a bite, only then can the male decide whether or not to respond with a bite of his own. The bites must be on the right shoulder. The only way for a male to decline the females proposal is to escape ahead of time or withstand the bite for 5 minutes without biting back, otherwise the ceremony is considered valid."

She let that sink in before continuing, "The biting process is basically to decide the alpha in the relationship, one must submit or the ceremony will be turned into a one on one fight on a later date. There must be an audience of a few people as witnesses to the ceremony. Since your little fight fulfilled all the main points, the ceremony is valid, and you are now her alpha since Hana submitted to you. The alpha position can change in the future, but that type of marriage is for life. Mine wasn't like that though, I took it straight into a fight to be the alpha and since my marriage was arranged, we were able to divorce." Tsume finished explaining.

I just sat there staring dumbly while not sure whether to curse or thank the Harem armor. They should fix that damned law, how the hell was I supposed to know that? It's not like I could ask Tsume to invalidate it since our battle and my screams of rabies had attracted a lot of attention. There were about 30 people standing around clapping and congratulating us as if it was normal.

"*sigh* Fine, whatever, is there more to the ceremony or is this it? Tell me if there are any more laws like that one or exceptions I should be aware of." I ask while pinching the bridge of my nose in frustration.

I could only give up and accept the rule. I ask about the laws just in case, I don't want to end up marrying an old lady through some stupid law. I'll fight the whole village over that shit, I don't give a damn.

"Not really, most other laws cover clansmen conflicts and ninken protection laws. You just need to learn the village laws, and shinobi code of conduct when the time comes. Usually as long as you don't instigate a fight or harm civilians without just cause you'll be fine. You'll learn all the minor details later. Now, come here and let me clean you up, we don't want you getting an infection right?" Tsume says and motions me over. She already had a first aid kit ready as she watched part of our scuffle from the window.

I walked over and just listened to a few of their unspoken rules as she patched me up. There wasn't anything too weird, besides a 'don't f.u.c.k our dogs' law that I didn't need explained. I asked about how courting someone from outside the compound works, she said that it's the same for any other villager. It's just slightly looked down upon with an 'oh, Inuzuka women aren't good enough for you?' type of mentality from some stubborn clansmen.

I guess you have those kinds of people everywhere, the kind that believe in only being with someone of your same ethnicity. Hell, I'm pretty sure the Hyuga and Uchiha are the same. I heard about their i.n.c.e.s.tuous practices and disdain for those who don't inherit their kekkei genkai. Who am I to judge though, had I still been alive, my crazy harem might have added one of my daughters just to experience the taboo rush. With my dead emotions I would have probably gone along with it too...

Since I'm still not used to my feelings I have no idea if it's something I'm against. Probably not though right? I'm essentially a god of my own world with Eos, and how many gods are in i.n.c.e.s.tuous relations? I don't want to think about this anymore... Just how did I get to this from a question about clan dating?

Tsume finished up and brought me inside. A was greeted by a large black and white wolf-dog beast with an eyepatch over its right eye. It towers over me and glares, I return the favor, we have a staring contest for a minute until Tsume sends him to bring Hana back.

The f.u.c.k.i.n.g dog, actually responds with an, "On it boss!", before running off in Hana's direction.

The f.u.c.k?!? Do the other dogs talk too? Wasn't it just Kakashi's pug summon 'Pakkun', and other creatures that spoke? Was my Tenshi bloodline finally activating? I tried talking to Dogmeat but never got a word, I thought he might have been too young to speak, or that my bloodline needed maturing, so was this it?

As if partially reading my mind, Tsume informs me, "That's my ninken partner, Kuromaru. He can talk because he was part of the hound summons clan at one point. He ended up on the bad side of a few of the stronger dogs by pursuing their mates. So he was exiled after a fierce battle in which he lost both his right eye and left ear. He was lucky I found him when I did and nursed him as a teen, he decided at that moment then to become my partner to repay my kindness."

That would have been a cool story if Tsume didn't finish with, "He later demanded to select mates for him to breed with and have tons of pups, so he now has a harem of bitches hahaha!"

It did have me laughing along with her though. I asked about the girls, her reply was that she dumped the girls off on Kushina before coming home to wait for me. They said they wanted to check up on Mina and have a slumber party with just the girls. With the way Mina reacted, I am pretty sure she's no longer catatonic. So she might give up some of my secrets, but as long as it doesn't get back to the schemers of Konoha, I'll be fine. I might need to suffer an interrogation though.

I'll deal with it if it comes... There was still a bit of time before bed so I was taken to the living room and left to my own devices. Tsume said she was gonna grab a snack and bring me something. As far as I knew, b.r.e.a.s.t pumps didn't exist here, so I continue holding onto my hope of drinking from the source directly hehehe. Looking around the room I notice some comfortable looking couches, what I think is a radio, and a huge d.o.g.g.y bed. The decor is pretty b.a.r.e but cozy.

On the wall near the radio was a bookshelf, with old dusty books, probably just there to mislead people. Doesn't really matter, I grab a book about Inuzuka history and flip through it a while, since the lore behind them was minimal compared to others. The book consisted of some folklore on how their first ancestors was a wolf that was cursed to be human, information on how they used to be a nomadic tribe of hunters, and finally how they had to learn ninjitsu to protect themselves from other clans. Pretty interesting stuff, especially the curse, it's probably just a story though.

Tsume comes back as I closed the book, and was about to put it back. She gave me a quizzical look and asked, "You can read?"

"Yup, sorry about touching stuff without permission, it's just that not much is known about your clans history." I said with an apologetic smile.

"That's fine, all the important stuff isn't even here. You can keep that one and this book on Inuzuka relationship advice." Tsume offered with a sly grin.

"Is this marriage thing serious? Can't you overrule it as clan leader?" I ask with little to no hope.

"No, sorry I can't, I don't want to be the first to set the precedent for this kind of divorce law. There are many female clansmen who are happy with this arrangement as most of us are quite brutish compared to other women in the village. While the men, for reasons beyond me, like them more. So the female set the men up with any kind of trickery that can come up with to snag up the men they like. This can backfire for dainty girls like Hana as the men would do something along the lines of what you did. It was only a matter of time for her, I'm relieved it's you. That monster between your legs is sure to keep her satisfied in the future hahaha." Tsume said... did she have to ruin it with that last part though?

"Mom, you traitor!!! HENTAI!!! BAKA!!!" Yelled Hana. She was dragged in just as Tsume said she was glad it was me. She was dangling from Kuromaru's teeth by her shirt collar and swinging her legs in frustration.

"Talk to me in a few years, after you get used to mating. At that time if you still disagree with me, maybe I'll help you get a divorce. Menma, you better get good at using that thing before you beat me, cuz I ain't gonna settle for another 'shit in the sack' mate, got it?" Tsume stated with a feral grin.

She has no problem sharing a man with her daughter as long as he is a worthy Alpha, can't argue with these clan teachings though. Good thing too, cuz I damn sure wasn't gonna leave her to grow old alone. Nothing quite like an Oyakodon in the morning to start the day off right, right?

Hana just got redder, she shouldn't even know about this stuff but with Tsume for a mom and a clan that still carries part of ancient barbaric philosophies, I'm not too surprised. Tsume just ignored all her protests, and directly took off Hana's shirt. Hana covered up her flat c.h.e.s.t and glared at me with her red face and teary eyes as if I were interested in her body. I look away to read the other books Tsume gifted me and wait for Hana to be patched up.

"Damn, Menma got you real good. This isn't gonna fade any time soon, so I'll put it off a bit and take you turn it into the ceremonial band in a few days. Menma, you'll need it too." Said Tsume once she seen the wound clearly.

I was kind of screwed though, "Mine won't last that long, it's already healing, look." I said as I lifted the patch on my shoulder.

"You sure you're not a Jinchuuriki? Cuz this is a bit too fast... Kuromaru, go call Ashi and tell her to bring her supplies." Said Tsume

I just had to open my damned mouth... Well, I might have just saved myself though, since Hana would have probably needed to bite me again if they saw I barely had a scar. She'd end up trying to bite me to death.

We wait for Ashi, who was likely an unnamed mob character. I open the book again and check if they have any information on the ceremonial band. It turns out that it is just the bite mark getting inked to look like a chain, in the center they add a pair of wolves nose to nose with our first names in Kanji written above their heads respectively, all between the Inuzuka clan twin fang symbol. The tattoo is also a form of seal, it lets you know where your spouse is at all times (within a 100 meters around you), and erases one of the wolves should they die.

Even if it doesn't sound too impressive, it looks pretty cool if the examples are anything to go by. I'm gonna ask for a small tweak though. Kuromaru returned with Ashi in tow pretty fast. She and Tsume speak while pointing at me and Hana as I take a good look at Ashi. She had a pixie cut hairstyle with piercings on her ears, nose, lips, and brow. She had a leather jacket and pants combo with combat boots, her jacket is unzipped so you can see her designed and ripped tank top, and her sleeves were rolled up to her elbows.

With all the tattoos she had she didn't even look like someone from this world. At least I don't have to worry, I heard people always say "never get a tat from someone who doesn't have any", so she's perfect.

"Come here you little shit." - Ashi

"Hana, she's calling you." - Me

"She's calling you, baka!" - Hana

"She's right, come here." - Ashi

"Whatever, you're the one married to a little shit." - Me

"Shut up!" - Hana

"Get your a.s.s over here, Red!" - Ashi

"Sorry, about that beautiful. Kids are a pain in the a.s.s aren't they?" I say in a slick manner.

"The last thing I need is a kid fresh out of diapers hitting on me. Hurry up and strip, I ain't got all night." - Ashi

"No dinner or anything? Have it your way." I say as I dropped my pants faster than they could respond.

Hana screamed as she took a long look before running off to another room.

Ashi went wide eyed, "Damn kid"

Tsume just laughed at both of their reactions

Kuromaru couldn't care less as he was already lying down in his bed trying to sleep.

I pull my pants back up and take off my shirt. Since we're technically married, I just wanted to get the size shock out the way now so she has more time to mentally prepare herself. You can't just whip something like that out in front of a v.i.r.g.i.n and expect her not to run when faced with a monster. She's got a good couple of years before that is even on the menu.

"Was that really necessary?" - Ashi

"I think so, this is a vital step for our future right?" I reply smugly

"Better now than on D-day hahaha!" - Tsume

"Whatever, let's just get this over with." - Ashi

I sat down in front of her, "I know that the usual color of the wolves is black for male and white for female, but can you make the male red and give him 3 tails?" I ask since I want mine to look cooler than normal.

"I guess we can make that exception since you are from outside the clan, but can you draw it well Ashi?" Asked Tsume as she lays on the couch and eats her snacks.

"As long as I know what I'm drawing and have my supplies, I can draw anything." Ashi replied a little more excited than before.

"Okay cool, make sure to give him my golden eyes too." - Me

"Red fur, golden eyes, 3 tails, and the rest is the usual, got it." Said Ashi as she began mixing the ink.

I just sat there shirtless with nothing to do so I took a look at the price of a summons I wanted to buy Zoro's childhood friend, Kuina from One Piece, I didn't want to leave it to chance with there being so many characters throughout all of earths works of art. She's listed as a low D rank with her price being $800... F.u.c.k... I could buy her right now but it would get in the way of contingency plans and wiggle room, in simpler terms, I'll be broke.

The current date is June 7th, and Kushina seemed pregnant, so Naruto should be born in a few months, I'll just ask later and hope she's not just a little chubby. I want her to survive, so I need to start planning now and hold off on Kuina for now.

Ashi finished the rough sketch on my skin, now I wait for the pain. I start checking different things I can buy, Senzu beans are out of the question with them being S ranked $3800. I would need a few years to even consider it. At most, I can buy an immortal lab rat to train my healing skills, but if that shit starts talking I'll might not be able to go through with it.

'Sys, is there something I can buy that I can train my skills with?" - Me

{You can buy an advanced training dummy. It come with many features, which includes a display to compare damage output between skills and self repairs even if it disintegrated. It can change forms and size, Human to non-human as long as you provide a body sample. It has no senses as it is not a living being, but mimics the biological functions of one, thus can be used for medical training as well. You can also set up different simulated injuries and have realistic vitals. It can use any fighting skill or style you learn and set to be more proficient and stronger than you.} -Sys

'How much is that?' - Me

{$1500} - Sys

'F.u.c.k... it won't become sentient right? Do you have any way for me to earn money?' - Me

{It will never be sentient, there isn't even an upgrade for that. You can get a job, sell to the system store, or the more unlikely, complete a system mission.} - Sys

I quickly start looking through my inventory for things to sell. I'm not going to sell weapons or skills, and I doubt the clothes are worth much. The kart would be fine to sell but since it's low ranked I wouldn't get much. I finally stumbled across the tokens, one B rank skill token, one Bloodline Boost token, and 2 skill upgrade tokens.

'How much can I get for the skill upgrade tokens?' - Me

{$600 each. When selling items back to the shop, it's cut to 1/3 of the original price.} - Sys

'How about all the lab equipment and other random crap I stole? Can you buy that, or is it just stuff from the system?' - Me

{$265 for all the equipment, the system won't accept body parts, chemicals, or broken items and torn/dirty clothes.} - Sys

'I'll sell one skill upgrade token and the lab equipment. Leave me one complete set up and extra equipment, enough to bring the price down to $250.' - Me

The sale was completed and I got $850 to add to my $820. I buy the dummy and am left with $170... I forgot about the diamond pickaxe, I'll just leave it for now, it might be useful if I fuse it with a non-blocky one, the ones in Skyrim and fortnite never break, so that should be fine at some point.

My tattoo was done by the time I finished, Hana had come back once she was called but kept stealing glances in my direction, wanting to ask me something. I'll pretend I didn't notice that. I open the manual that Jiraiya gave me and start practicing keeping a coin stuck to my forehead since I didn't have or want to go get a leaf. It was pretty good practice once Hana started crying about how the tattooing hurts, it was difficult to focus because of it though.

Tsume threw a pillow at me and said, "It's time for bed, let's go."

F.u.c.k the coin, I stand up and follow her with a kool-aid smile. The thirst I felt had lowered since I practically fed on Hana, but now, the aromatic scent coming off Tsume is enough to reawaken it. I'm on the verge of drooling, just a bit longer and I'll be fine. The short walk to her room felt like a mile. When we finally enter, I volunteered to help her take off her shoes.

"Even though you're helped with my shoes, I'm not gonna take it easy on you when you come to fight me." She said before laying down.

I chuckled, "That's fine, I didn't expect you to."

I jump on the other side of the bed chanting "Milk, Milk! Tsume's, Tsume's! Milk, Milk! Tsume's Milk!" remixing the hook to chicken head by project pat.

Tsume laughed at my antics and took off her shit... I froze, Sys started playing the Halo theme song intro on a loop, these glorious mounds were rather mountains instead. I had caught a glimpse before but didn't stare as I am now. She had her b.r.e.a.s.ts tightly wrapped in bandages, this wasn't a change I asked for but I'll be damned if I'm not happy about it.

{The gods decided to intervene a bit to make a few changes that you would appreciate. Most of the changes are to the females, they added more variety in their curves and sizes as some anime worlds didn't have more shapely figured women to admire. These minor changes are in other worlds as well, more surprises are in store for you as well. Enjoy} - Sys

Well, I give my sincere thanks. Back to the boobies, I didn't wait a second longer and latched on like my life depended on it. That very same irresistible aroma began spreading around my mouth and down my throat. I can't lie, I felt my eyes start rolling to the back of my head.

Tsume got knocked back, and since I was being a bit too rough she gave me a quick knock on the head. "That hurt you little shit! At least warn me of your gonna tackle me!" She yelled

I'll apologize tomorrow, right now I need to drink myself to sleep. Maybe a slight nibble and pinch... *clonk*... ow

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Third person POV - Back with Jiraiya

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'Damn that kid, he actually managed to bribe me. It's completely worth it though, I gotta share this with sensei though. Hehehe, just imagining everything that this tablet has makes me feel like I'm about to create my greatest book yet!' - Jiraiya

He body flickers to Hiruzen sensei's house and jumps through the study window.

"You in here sensei, I got some good stuff you need to see! Wait, why is Minato here?" Asked Jiraiya

"Oh, Jiraiya, you're just in time. Whatever you were gonna show me can wait. Continue from the beginning Minato," Said Hiruzen

"It's about that weird kid, Menma." - Minato

"Oh, I met him. He's pretty interesting to say the least." - Jiraiya

"Yeah well, the problem lies in the Uzumaki female he had with him. As soon as she met Kushina she fainted, I left after placing her on my bed. A while later Kushina sent Kakashi, who I have tailing her for protection, to tell me to return quickly. When I returned, the woman Mina, revealed that she had only met Menma 2-3 months ago." - Minato

"So what's the problem?" - Jiraiya

"The problem lies in the fact that according to her, she was saved by him after he killed 3 fully armed bandits on his own. As if that wasn't enough, he had black hair when she first met him. I'm sure she's hiding more but I don't want to pressure the only family my wife has left." - Minato

"Quite worrying indeed, did she mention how his hair changed or how he killed the bandits?" - Hiruzen

"No, she was a little reluctant to continue speaking, she didn't even explain how they traveled from the borders of lightning country so quickly. Especially with the towns she mentioned they visited, it would have taken 4-6 months not half that." - Minato

"She was obviously pregnant as well, and there's no way they walked the whole way considering the speed in which they arrived and the toll it would have taken in her body. How about the others that were with him, did she say anything?" - Hiruzen

"She refused to give a straight answer, only saying 'I don't know'. I did a quick scan but didn't notice any obvious seals, and with her giving us some information we can be fairly sure she doesn't have one. What's do you think Jiraiya sensei?" - Minato

"He's alright in my books. If he really meant harm, he wouldn't have saved, let alone brought her with him. Plus I made him my official disciple after he bribed me with the greatest gift that has ever been gifted in the history of Konoha. Feast your eyes on the tablet of 1000 dreams!" Yells Jiraiya as he holds the tablet out in his outstretched arm.

"You were bribed with a useless flat board? That is all it takes to be your disciple?" Asked a dumbstruck Minato.

"Even I have to admit that you seem like an idiot bragging about red painted piece of wood or plastic. Please tell me that you're not that foolish." Hiruzen said as he rubs his temples.

"Hehehe, you ignorant fools are blind to the true worth of this godly item. I was once just as clueless about the world as you both, it took a toddler beyond his years to show me the truth. OPEN YOUR EYES AND REPENT, ONLY THEN WILL YOUR SINS BE FORGIVEN!" Jiraiya yelled with an air of righteousness as he turned the screen on.

Minato quickly tries to throw a kunai but was stopped by Hiruzen.

"Good job sensei, you definitely won't regret this." Said Jiraiya as he finds the Tsunade video again and presses play with the volume on max. "Take a look."

All three men watch the entire 2 hour video without a single word. Jiraiya triumphantly smirks as Minato and Hiruzen wipe the blood from their nose. Whether anybody pitched a tent will be confirmed or denied...

"Ahem, I will need to confiscate that, just until we can confirm it isn't dangerous." Hiruzen says with his hand out.

"Over my dead body, old man! This was a give from my favorite disciple, whether or not it is dangerous, I can handle it on my own." Said Jiraiya as he guards the tablet like a mother would her child.

"Where did he even get something like that? Though, I see why accepted him, he hooked you with the perfect bait." - Minato

"If it was just this video alone it would be good enough, but he said that there were countless others, just look at this library and tell me that you wouldn't have done the same." Jiraiya defended himself with the thumbnails.

The tablet only had straight and yuri, nothing in between. It had everything such as M/F, F/F, solos, threesomes, foursomes, orgies, bdsm, tentacles, basically all types of genres.

The newly exposed pair widen their eyes at such a treasure. They began to wonder if they can convince Menma to give them a tablet as well.

Jiraiya continued in a mildly serious tone, "Just keep an eye on him, whether I was duped or not, he's still my disciple. If he really does endanger the village, I'll take care of it."

"I don't see any problems, do you Lord Hokage?" - Hiruzen

"I told you not to call me that in private, it makes me feel a bit weird. Very well, I won't act on it, but only because I'm his senior brother now." - Minato

"Hahaha, great! Now that that's out of the way, what do you say to watching another video?" - Jiraiya

"Ah, sorry, it's getting late. I got to get home before Kushina decides to wait on me with a frying pan in hand" - Minato

"Your loss, maybe we can watch next time I swing by the village. Make sure you clear your schedule hehehe." - Jiraiya

"I'll be waiting... Oh, before I forget, can I borrow your copy of tales of a gutsy ninja? The bookstore hear doesn't have it since not many copies were produced, and I've been wanting to read something of yours without the weird stares in public." - Minato

"Ask the kid, I had to give him all of my books. I'm gonna need to ask my publisher for a few more." - Jiraiya

"Alright, I'll head out first. Lord Third, Sensei." Minato nodded as he used his signature Flying Thunder God to get home.

"Minato, a true closet pervert. He's suffering at the hands of his wife... Hey Jiraiya, is there a video with two curvy girls going at it?" Hiruzen asked with a side glance.

"Your definition of curvy is off, what you mean is round. There might be, but I don't want to watch that. Let's watch this one "Naughty Nurses 7", just look at the thumbnail!" - Jiraiya

The rest of the night the villagers around the Sarutobi estate believed me that the place was haunted by a pair of chuckling ghosts.

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In a room somewhere under the village

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"Tsuchinoe, I need you to take Hinoto with you to do something for me." - Danzo

"As you wish, Lord Danzo." - Tsuchinoe & Hinoto

[A/N I'll describe Tsuchinoe and Hinoto next time]